Tales of The Alliance Book One

God of Assholes, on the side of good 

Many wonderedjust how in the blue hell Cosmos allowed Jin Kisaragi to be a part of the Grand United Alliance of Good. The man was a self-centered, possessive asshole who would get rid of anything that gets in his way. Such was the fate of his poor mortal sister Saya, whom he got overly jealous of because his beloved ‘Nii-san’ (Ragna the Bloodedge) always tended to her (never mind the fact that she was actually sick) while he was still mortal. This is the story of how he came to the GUAG.

Blood dripped from Jin’s mouth as he used what remained of his strength to crawl away. Melkor grew tired of his constant pleas of searching for Ragna for him, and as a result for annoying him, he was marked for death, a traitor to the GUAE. Two assassins were sent to destroy him; I-No and Terumi, and right now, they were just about to finish the job.

Terumi: What’s the matter, Jin Kisaragi? You said you could beat me… heh heh heh…
Jin: You… bastards…! I’ll…
I-No: Squirm some more. It fits you, sexy boy. Though, I’m pretty sure you’ll be sexier when you’re a corpse.

Jin couldn’t move anymore. As he felt I-No swinging her guitar to bash his head, he somehow knew the end had come. However, he never had any intention of giving up. He would keep crawling, even if the world… turned… dark.

Jin suddenly found himself in a vision. It was the orphanage where he grew up. There, he saw two figures… a young Ragna playing with his sister Saya. His sister… the one who took Ragna away from him. “You bitch…” he muttered as he saw the girl having a lot of fun, as was Ragna. Yukianesa reacted, and he made a mad dash, a crazy face planted on his face.


The scream was cut short as suddenly Saya reacted with an incredible reflex… and stabbed Jin on the gut. Saya’s clothing suddenly changed to that of her robotic clone Nu’s except without her eyepatch or her visors, and her hair style was completely intact, not even changing color. Jin collapsed once more.

Jin: HOW!? You… you shouldn’t be able to…
Saya: Ragna… Can I kill him?
Jin: W… what!?
Saya: Jin… You hated me, didn’t you? Always taking Ragna away from you…

Jin felt his arm being slashed. Suddenly, he couldn’t feel his arm. He could grab Yukianesa, but he couldn’t swing it anymore.

Saya: Then, I’ll give you a piece of my mind as well. I HATE YOU TOO!
Jin: !!
Saya: You were always an overly needy brother who never learned to share, and think this world revolves only around you! A spoiled brat like you doesn’t deserve to live!
Jin: What did you… say…!?
Saya: You always picked on me… you wanted me to disappear… You think I’ll take that lightly!? I’LL SHOW YOU!!

Jin then felt like he was hit with thousands of swords. This was definitely not the Saya he used to know… the Saya that never once fought back against his past bullyings. What was she doing with Nu’s clothing? What number was this clone’s? But didn’t his dear brother destroy nearly all of them…? Did he miss one on purpose? It was as if this one clone was made not out of her yearning and love to Ragna, but her pure hatred of Jin…!As she summoned sword upon sword on Jin, hitting him all over, she began to speak in a condescendingly sarcastic voice.

Saya: Remember that one time you locked me alone inside the orphanage while Ragna was out? Or maybe you remember that one time you tried to put bugs near me to freak me out…? Oooh, subservient little Saya isn’t going to fight back, don’t you think? Isn’t that right, Jin? You used to laugh at misery each and every time… So now I’m going to kill you slowly… and savor every last bit of your suffering!
Jin: Ergh…!

More swords rained upon Jin. One even hit him in the crotch.

Jin: You…. bitch…!
Saya: That must’ve hurt, huh? Oh well, you used to do that to me and take delight in it. So it’s aaaaall right…. if I return it to you nine thousandfold! So, please, Jin… suffer for me. SUFFER FOR ME!!!

Thus Saya continued her torture of Jin, until eventually the glimmer of enthusiasm on her eyes were gone. Meaning… she started to get bored.

Saya: You’re an obstacle… An obstacle for me to have peace! Isn’t that right, Jin…? You always said I was an obstacle between you and our dear brother… I say… you’re an obstacle between this world and all other people!
Jin: !!
Saya: Like you said, obstacles needs to be removed, right…? Now… time for you to die. Time for you to pay for being a spoiled brat who never learns… And I’m doing this world a favor, ridding it of one as worthless and pathetic like you…
Jin: S… stop it… Brother…! Help… me! Okay, I was wrong, but Saya has completely gone nuts…! She wouldn’t…
Ragna: She would. And will. And I’ll let her.
Jin: B… brother!? Have you… forsaken me…!?
Ragna: You brought this upon yourself, Jin. Had you decided to man up and stop being needy of me, this could’ve been avoided. She was only channeling all the pain that she held up all this time. And I don’t see anything wrong with it, what with what you’ve done to us.
Jin: Brother…!
Saya: So he said. Now then, time to die… Jin.

The mere thought of him being completely forsaken verbally by Ragna drove Jin completely nuts, but it was all too late. Saya took one knife and impaled it right through Jin’s heart, completely skewering it.

Jin found himself floating, his soul separated from his body. All he saw were Ragna and Saya floating. He wanted to feel jealous, but looking at his horribly mutilated body, he suddenly realized that he might’ve gone over the top.

So, did you saw the effects of what you have done…?

A voice rang behind him. Jin looked behind, and saw a woman with golden hair.

Jin: Who are you?
Cosmos: I’m Cosmos. I lead the Grand United Alliance Of Good.
Jin: Good for you, but I’m dead. Now leave me be.
Cosmos: You’re not.
Jin: See that mutilated body over there? That was mine. There’s no way I could’ve been…
Cosmos: What you saw was just a vision. A vision created by me. You were only watching.
Jin: What!? You’re the leader of the Grand United Alliance Of Good, yet you mind raped me!? How dare you, you bitch!
Cosmos: You keep this up, and this might happen to you again.
Jin: !!
Cosmos: Do you understand why I showed you this? Your biggest fault was your obsession with your brother. For his attention alone, you would doom the world.
Jin: ….
Cosmos: However… as you didn’t keep it in check, you let loose a large disaster in the world, but you didn’t care, as long as it got you your brother. You keep this up and one day, someone that you stomped on will get back at you in the most horrifying way possible. Before you could even accomplish anything, I just showed you what your sister, that you wish would’ve disappeared just so you could be with your brother, would’ve thought, being picked on you and held with much contempt, would’ve done after all those years of you mistreating her.
Jin: … Are you saying it was my fault?
Cosmos: Yes. And that is why even the Grand United Alliance Of Evil even refused you. Even Evil cannot abide such neediness. You’ll have no place to belong if you keep this needy attitude. And you’ll never find Ragna.
Jin: So?
Cosmos: And if you still have that ‘If the world don’t accept me, I’ll destroy it’ mentality, please, cease those thoughts. My friends from the Alliance will not have that and they will stop you.
Jin: … *sigh* So, what do you want me to do?
Cosmos: It is up to you, Jin Kisaragi. Do you want to grow up and be an independent man, or do you want to stay as a needy, spoiled brat that will annoy virtually everyone and never reach any of your wishes in the process? The choice is yours…

Cosmos vanished afterwards, and Jin was engulfed with a massive light. Suddenly, he found himself in the hospital of the GUAG.

Jin: Where…
Unohana: Ah, you have awakened. Sol saved you from I-No and Terumi and brought you here.
Jin: This looks like… Urgh…!
Unohana: Please don’t move. Your wounds haven’t…
Jin: Agh, shut up, wench! I have other urgent…
Jin: *gulp*. R… right, okay. Urgh, what was that… dream?
Unohana: Dreams? I wonder what kind of dreams you had. Mind sharing them with me?
Jin: Forget it. Someone like you wouldn’t unders…
Jin: … Oh, very well.

Jin began to tell Unohana his dream.

Unohana: Is that so?
Jin: Funny. I’m the God of Assholes and I’m sharing this.
Unohana: However, I do agree with Cosmos. Keep this up and you might end up as The God Of Annoying Younger Siblings. And that could throw you into the Disgraces.
Jin: What…!?
Unohana: That’d be a point of no return. Especially since another one has risen for the position in a good way.
Jin: That’s it, I’ve decided… I must stop being so overly needy and possessive of my brother.
Unohana: Ah. That is very good. Cosmos also said that if you could try to set yourself straight, perhaps she will reunite you with your brother.
Jin: With my brother!? Ugh… must… resist… urge… to… kill…!
Unohana: Are you all right?
Jin: N… no, nothing. I just decided that I still want to meet my brother. But this time, not because he’s mine or I want to kill him. I want to… talk.
Unohana: … Impressive, how Cosmos can convince such people.
Jin: Oh, yeah… the Grand United Alliance Of Evil has marked me a traitor, so there’s no way I could return to them. If Cosmos promised me such a thing, then put me in your Alliance.
Unohana: Very well then, I’ll file in your request. Until then, please rest here until you recover.

Unohana took her leave from his room. Jin was left to ponder if he really could let go of his neediness. The risk for failure was for him to be thrown in the Disgraces. For a moment, his instincts as The God Of Assholes persuaded him to just be a jerk and leave without permission, but Unohana’s Death Glare even freaked him out and he changed his mind.

And soon, with the Main House’s filings and condolences, despite several protests, Jin was admitted into the Alliance.

Soon after his admittance, he thought of Ragna, and what he wanted to talk about. Jin suddenly received a pain in the head. Yukianesa was reacting. It was giving him memories and trying to control him, and revert him to his childish, needy self. However, Jin struggled to resist the pain, but eventually…

Jin: S… SHUT UP, YOU THING! YOU’RE NOT CONTROLLING ME!! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I’m!? I’m Jin Kisaragi, God of Assholes, and you’re not any kind of God, so I have the right to be an asshole to YOU! You won’t bitch at me any longer! In fact… effective from today, YOU’RE NOW MY BITCH! Now you WILL obey me, and I say, STOP ERODING MY WILL WITHOUT PERMISSION!! I’ll face my brother… ON MY OWN WILL!!

Time would tell if he would get over his problems or not…

End result: Jin officially joined the GUAG.

Rescue Operation: Re-Educational Facility Saga Part 1 – Formation

In practically no time at all, the entire Pantheon received news that Jin became a member of the GUAG. Even Ragna was quite satisfied that his brother manned up. The GUAG rejoiced, but they had no time to waste. Reports had it that the GUAE was stirring up trouble once more in an area called ‘Area 13‘. Cosmos had to sent out combatants to secure the area.

Garrus Vakarian was chosen to be the squad leader, while Kain Highwind was to be the vice leader. Due to the sightings of Azai Nagamasa, Oichi volunteered to come. Aside from that, Litchi Faye-Ling was chosen as the field medic, and accompanying her was her friend Millia Rage.

On arrival, they set up a camp on a house nearby. Garrus went to brief the plan further.

Garrus: The enemy will be coming from these directions. I’ll have to be at the center to provide long range support to you. Those who fight at the close range, hold off the enemy.
Kain: Leave it to me. You can be assured that way.
Millia: The enemy can infiltrate us from this point. We’ll have to block it. Not to mention they may try to cover that part.
Litchi: I’ll help block it if you want.
Garrus: You’re the medic. Stick with me and help regulate the healing. They’ll want to capture you if you’re out.
Litchi: don’t worry, I’ll be fine on my own.
Oichi: May Ichi help here?
Millia: …. Hm… What should it be…
Litchi: Ah, don’t worry. You can come with me. We’ve also heard rumors that Nagamasa was spotted around exactly that spot.
Kain: …….
Garrus: Very well… The meeting’s adjourned. We’re doing our best to hold the GUAE in the line here.

The team dispersed. However, Kain went on and approached Garrus.

Kain: Something’s not right with Litchi.
Garrus: She’s looking fine… Her condition, that is.
Kain: No… I just got a bad feeling about this.
Millia: You shouldn’t doubt her like that. Wasn’t Litchi the one who kept believing you’re good? Men can so be ungrateful at times.
Kain: … You’ll probably regret those words soon, Miss Rage.
Millia: As should you, Mr. Highwind.
Garrus: Okay, that’s enough. Put aside those differences now and work together…wait, what’s that noise!? All right, all units in position!

As such, the GUAE troops arrived to fight, and as Garrus stayed behind to provide sniping support to Kain and his troops, Millia also covered the back gate, allowing Litchi and Oichi to enter the base underground. She was too close there, so the GUAE could not sneak through the underground entry. Once there, however, Litchi started to sigh.

Litchi: I… What should I do…

When she was selected by Cosmos to become Garrus’ field medic, Litchi wanted to pick up some medical items to help her. However, when she arrived there, the medical bay was in complete mess…

Litchi: What went wrong here… oh no…!

She realized that this was the bay Arakune was being medicated. But now, he was gone. She started to cough as she frantically searched the bay. It was then that a figure entered… Hazama.

Litchi: Hazama…!
Hazama: Well well, fancy meeting you here, Litchi Faye-Ling. I’m nearly gone, but you’ll be a good prize.
Litchi: You’re not taking me away from here.
Hazama: Oh whoops! No, no! We don’t want you by force. We want you to come accordingly with us to GUAE.
Litchi: I’ll never join you!
Hazama: Oh, so you don’t care what happened to him?
Litchi: !!!
Hazama: The poor thing, the GUAG simply lacked the technology to cure him. We couldn’t let that be so I and Relius took him away so he can be closer with the cure.
Litchi: What!? You… don’t you dare…!
Hazama: His life belongs to you, though. If you want him and you to live, you’ll have to listen to us. Otherwise… that blob and yourself will never get cured.
Litchi: …
Hazama: Here’s a switch. It contains the voice of good ol’ Oda Nobunaga. I know you’re going to attack Area 13 and Oichi is coming with you, so all you need is to separate with just her, and then activate the switch, bringing forth Oichi’s Dark Side and catching the GUAG by surprise. Afterwards, you can leave and come with us after they brand you a traitor.
Litchi: How cruel… But I can’t betray my friends…
Hazama: Look, if you don’t betray your friends, that Arakune dies. Which one will it be? Isn’t he the most important thing to you? Worth more than them, right? The choice is yours.
Litchi: …

Looking at how Oichi was taking care of the remnants of the GUAE soldiers, Litchi felt rather sad. But Arakune’s life was in the line, as was hers. Thus she pulled the switch from Hazama.

Litchi: Right now… I have to save him…

With that, she pressed the switch. And in a sudden, the booming voice of Oda Nobunaga echoed.

Nobunaga: Come… Come and return to your brother… your dear brother… Come… Ichi…!!!
Oichi: B… brother…? Ah… AAAAHHH!!!

With that, Oichi’s eyes became blank eyes of evil as she eventually ravaged the rest of the GUAG soldiers they were bringing. Even the soldiers were horrified, as was Litchi. But she had no choice. She left with Oichi, leaving the cries of the dying soldiers, horrified with her betrayal.

Meanwhile, Millia was just finishing with the soldiers from behind.

Millia: This got too easy. Perhaps Kain got the good parts. Oh well… I cannot complain.

At that time, Litchi suddenly appeared before her.

Litchi: Millia! Are you hurt?
Millia: Not so much… but I guess I can appreciate some medication.
Litchi: ….

Litchi said nothing as suddenly Oichi barged in and attacked Millia on sight.

Millia: …! Oichi…
Oichi: … You… die…
Millia: What’s the meaning of this, Litchi?
Litchi: ….

To Millia’s shock, Litchi just left without a word, heading to the position of Garrus. This put Millia in a shock as they were close friends, yelling while blocking Oichi’s attacks.

Millia: I demand an explanation here, Litchi! What is it with you!? Litchi!!

In the meantime, Kain was fighting a lot of soldiers, until eventually, a familiar horde was on his sights.

Kain: Manikins…! So even the GUAE controlled them too!

As he continued to fight, Garrus continued to give support by scoping and dropping them. It was at that time Litchi approached him.

Garrus: Litchi. The gate?
Litchi: Sealed shut, as planned.
Garrus: Impressive. I suppose Kain could use some medical help.
Litchi: …. I’m sorry.

In one swift move, while Garrus was aiming, Litchi instead smacked him on the head with her staff.

Garrus: What’s the meaning of this… Litchi Faye-Ling!?
Litchi: I’m sorry, Garrus… *sob* I’m sorry…!
Garrus: Crocodile Tears…? That’s not gonna work. Now unless you’d like me to scope and drop you, then get down there and provide medication for Kain!
Litchi: I…
???: She can’t!!

At that moment, Hazama suddenly made an appearance in front of Garrus, and started beating him down mercilessly, unlike Litchi.

Hazama: And you know why the reason, Garrus? Because she’s one of us now!
Garrus: W… what!?
Hazama: It’s easy. She was never in for the lame ass justice you keep preaching! She’s only there for one thing, that blob you call Arakune! Take that out, and she won’t even work with you! Boo-hoo! So much for the kind lady you always thought she’d be, huh!? HAHAHAHA!!!
Garrus: B… bastard…!

In the meantime, Kain continued to fight on, even without medications.

Kain: This is getting endless… and medications haven’t come. What’s Litchi doing? Regardless… I’ll fight on. To the bitter end… like usual.

Thus Kain kept up the fight, until he suddenly saw Millia being knocked away. When he looked at her, nobody was there. Oichi had retreated through the abyss, and all Millia could mutter was Litchi’s name. Kain realized that something was off, and the horde of Manikins approached him. There ws only one way to reach Garrus… the stairs. And his body was already battered and bruised.

Kain: I knew this would happen… but regardless… I’ll fight on. None of these beings will pass this point!

After putting Millia behind her, Kain held off the line admirably.

In the meantime, however, Hazama continued to taunt Garrus while Litchi just stood there, unable to say anything, although she was horrified that Garrus ended up like that.

Hazama: HYAHAHAHAHA!! Look at that, Archangel! You really are good at long range, but at close range, you’re a wimp!
Garrus: Grrr…
Litchi: Please… stop.
Hazama: Oh, shut up! I was just having fun! Or do you want him to die!?
Litchi: Ugh…
Hazama: Oh well, it’s about time I wrapped this up anyway. Come this way, Litchi.

Grabbing Litchi’s hand, Hazama dragged her as she could only look at Garrus who was struggling to get up. In fact, he was also about to pick his sniper to snipe at either of those two. Hazama jumped at the window, bringing Litchi along as they suddenly landed at a helicopter’s top.

Hazama: Oh, and here’s a present from Wesker, Archangel! Eat up nice! AHAHAHAHA!!!

And suddenly Hazama, with his free hand, tossed an active missile, and Garrus had no chance to dodge. The explosion knocked Garrus unconscious, all while Litchi could only look in horror at the house that was to be surrounded by Manikins.

It took awhile until Garrus regained his consciousness. As he realized, his face was disfigured, like that time in his mortal days. He looked downstairs and saw both Kain and Millia lying on the ground, seemingly dead.

Garrus: Kain… Millia… My leadership was lacking. I’m no Shepard after all… but…

Just as he said that, he saw through the window, seeing that more Manikins and soldiers were approaching.

Garrus: I’ll be damned if I let you two die in vain.

Garrus, fueled with his anger and sense failure, took up his sniper rifle once more and started sniping the Manikins and soldiers… all single handedly… for days to come. Never once did he look back, he persistently held the line.

Until eventually help arrived.

Garrus: Shepard… glad to see you here.
Shepard: Garrus, what happened here? Your head…
Garrus: That Litchi Faye-Ling turned her back against us! And because of her and my lack of insight… Kain and Millia…
Shepard: They should be on further medications here. I brought Miss Unohana along and explanations can wait. For now… we’ll wait for an opening and get out of here… this area is lost.
Garrus: Just like old times, huh… regardless of the loss.

Thus the duo of Shepard and Garrus took the field once more and started defending the position once again. And once everything was safe, they retreated.

Kain’s condition brought panic to most of the Pantheons as Cosmos wouldn’t be able to restore those defeated by Manikins. However, with the medications provided by many doctors, and a miracle, Kain lived through. However, at the moment, the whole team was brought in a disarray after learning Litchi’s betrayal.

Garrus: That woman dared turn her backs against us. I guess Hakumen has a point… she’s too obsessed at that blob.
Millia: It’s not like her after all, something must’ve been holding or blackmailing her. Probably that Hazama…
Garrus: Regardless of that, it certainly shows that she is obsessed and selfish. If she wasn’t, she would’ve refused such blackmails.
Kain: I don’t think so, Garrus. Unohana has briefed me about the theft of the medical bay. Now it’s making sense… it’s something she cannot refuse, due to her weakness.
Garrus: …. What do you mean about this, Kain?
Kain: How many times have I… fallen to the control of Zemus and Zeromus because of my desire for Rosa? I was weak, but I was able to overcome that weakness. Or perhaps you saw me as nothing more as a dirty traitor regardless how much I try?
Garrus: ……….
Millia: Kain has a point. Hazama was probably making use of Litchi’s weakness… She’s still her, she’ll just have to overcome that weakness one day. Anything else you remember on her reaction?
Garrus: She was crying… Probably Crocodile Tears.
Shepard: Garrus, please. I know you’re sad about endangering Kain and Millia’s lives, but Litchi isn’t fully to blame. She must be crying becauseshe didn’t want to betray us in the first place.
Garrus: I don’t know, Shepard. Part of me want to believe that she’s just as you say. But this…
Shepard: I won’t force my beliefs. But I’d like to tell you that… Litchi is probably torn over what she did. Besides, we also have to worry about that it’s not just Litchi they took. They also took Oichi.
Kain: Right… so about her…

Thus the discussion shifted into Oichi. Eventually, they realized they had to work harder, but soon news spread and morality was hit pretty hard.

Meanwhile, in the GUAE, the Re-Educational Facility was opened, and while Oichi was being kept with her brother Nobunaga, Litchi was sent there…

Hazama: You’ll enjoy it here, no worries. Amongst these documents are the cure for Arakune, we spread it here for you to find. Happy searching!

As Hazama left, Litchi opened the book and realized, these were demotivational books meant to slowly rip away her goodness, rather than research books. But she bit her lips and read slowly, hoping that the demotivational book would not affect her.

Litchi: (Is this supposed to be a joke?? But if he’s telling the truth… then I must hold on… for his sake… I… I’m sorry, everyone…)

She continued to read and read, searching for clues. But she would not be alone, as the GUAE started bringing forth many participants for the Re-Educational Facility, because they had no choice, like her, or they had other plans…

End Result: Formation of the ‘Re-educational Facility’ in GUAE. Garrus received his scar.

Rescue Operation: Re-Educational Facility Saga Part 2 – Planning Rescue Operation 1

Ever since the turn for Litchi to come to GUAE, the ninja that loved her very much, Bang Shishigami, has been plotting her rescue, including training and gathering people who felt her plight, including the likes of Millia Rage, Judas and Mele. He even went to train with Segata Sanshiro to increase his chance of success, but alas, lone strength wasn’t enough to face the might of GUAE, that group that seemed adamant in keeping these good deities ‘imprisoned’ and ‘manipulated’…

Bang: No, no, this can’t be happening! Is my strength not enough? Miss Litchi… how am I going to save you!? I knew that Segata Sanshiro is a good man; I’ve been training with him, I’m much stronger! But last time, that Terumi got me surrounded… That’s it! I need more men! But how am I going to attract many men… more than the ninjas of Ikaruga and Ronin-Gai… I must not trouble Ryu Hayabusa and Schwarz Bruder further…

It just came upon it that at that time, he came across someone making a speech… Tokugawa Ieyasu.

Ieyasu: I’m Tokugawa Ieyasu, a shogun, a warlord, but most importantly, a friend. And I have come with one goal… to unite this Pantheon, with the Power of the Bonds! One day… we can all gather together, hand in hand for a bright future. And if any of those Evil Gods dare to threaten our bonds… let my fist crush them!

The crowd was quick to burst into cheerings, and Bang found himself amongst them.

Bang: I… inspirational! Tokugawa Ieyasu! you’re truly the man I sought for!
Ieyasu: Huh? And who might you be?
Bang: ‘Tis I! Bang Shishigami! The Hammer of Justice, hailing from the realms of Ikaruga! God of Highly Visible Ninjas!
Ieyasu: Ah yes, I’ve heard about you, now if you’d please lower your voice volume. Now, what do you seek in me?

Bang then told him about the presence of the GUAE Re-Educational Facility, and how he wished to save Litchi.

Ieyasu: Re-Educational Facility? Ah… I see. Those are our friends, blinded with certain things that made them do the biddings of Melkor as much as they didn’t want to. I share your sentiments, Bang… I’ll help you.
Bang: You really would help me saving Miss Litchi!?
Ieyasu: Of course! Besides… there’s someone else, a friend of mine, in their clutches…

Ieyasu was thinking of his senior and friend… Lady Oichi, brainwashed thanks to the return of Oda Nobunaga. He wanted to save her.

Ieyasu: Before my deification, I used to frequent Doctor Faye-Ling’s clinic too… she don’t deserve that place. Very well, I’ll gather most men that I can, I’m sure they share your sentiments as well.
Bang: I’m most grateful, Master Ieyasu! I’ll gather the best of the best I could!

Bang left the vicinity as soon as possible, trying to gather some men. Meanwhile, Ieyasu was approached by someone… Unohana Retsu.

Ieyasu: This is how it will be… right?
Unohana: Yes. Litchi used to be one of my friends, we studied under House. Besides, it is time I make Yuki Terumi pay for raiding my home and snatching my patient.
Ieyasu: Lady Unohana. Then I take it that you’ll help me as a medical support?
Unohana: Yes. But we will need more than brute force. Come, I have something to discuss for the success of the plan.

Nodding, Ieyasu followed Unohana for a strategic meeting, where most of the Gods she invited would involve themselves in the upcoming battle…

Later, amongst the Re-Educational Facility… Ieyasu, aside of Bang and Unohana, stood proudly, bringing forth many Gods who shared the sentiment to rescue as many teammates as possible.

And who else was to greet him but… Hazama/Yuki Terumi himself.

Hazama: Ooh, what do we have here… So the foolish ninja is back and brought forth friends? You know this won’t charged a thing, you know? The doctor is ours…
Ieyasu: Yuki Terumi… I’ve heard about you. You want this whole Pantheon to be covered with despair.
Hazama: Terumi who? I’m merely called Hazama here…
Ieyasu: You cannot lie to me, Terumi! I’ve known your identity and your goal! And that did against the world united with the Power of Bonds… I simply cannot let men like you run around… You’ll fall… just like Lord Hideyoshi before my fist!
Hazama: Nag, nag, nag, nag, you sure talk big for someone who gets kidnapped all the time, you know!? Do you really think you and your little charade can defeat me!?
Bang: Silence, evil monster! I’ve also heard that Lord Ieyasu has improved a whole lot! We will help him, for we fight for a just cause!
Hazama: HAHAHAHA!! Just cause!? Pure bullshit! The only truth there is is just… EVIL! DESPAIR! SUFFERING!! And I’ll bring it forth to you… to arms!

As Hazama snapped his fingers, the current residents of the Token Good Teammates members were gathering forth. Aside from Litchi and Oichi, there were also Archer, Sakuya Izayoi and Jecht.

Hazama: Okay listen up. I want these people dead. If you don’t do it… then you can all say good bye to the likes of Arakune, Remilia Scarlet, or Tidus… or we’ll keep that ARCHER trash in existence!
Ieyasu: Worry not, good people. We will save you! Let’s go! We have no time to waste!

All of the prisoners could only nod and charged towards the army of Ieyasu as they were caught in a battle of wits. In particular…

Bang: Miss Litchi, I’ll repeat this once more. Get out of the GUAE at once!
Litchi: I’m sorry, Bang. But I have no choice! I must save him… they’re the only one who can do it…!
Millia Rage: Don’t be so naive, Litchi. Terumi was just using you, the same way Zato used me! He’ll never fulfill your bargain! Use that conscience that you used to have!
Litchi: What did you say, Millia? I… but even if it’s a small chance…
Judas: She spoke the truth. They’re only using Arakune’s cure… to cow you around… the same way Hugo Gilchrist did! I don’t want you and Lotte become like me and Marian…!
Litchi: But what do I do…? I must save him…
Mele: For Rio-sama’s sake, you’re getting pathetic! Get a hold of yourself! You’re just giving my portfolio a bad name! Stand up for yourself and make him proud by doing the right thing, not just cowing to some stupid Deal with the Devil! Especially one so obviously evil like that Yuki Terumi!
Hazama: ”AHAHAHAHAHA!! Talk all you want, simpletons, but you cannot break her love! As long as Arakune is involved she will do anything! This proves just how shallow she is! There’s only him in her mind!
Bang: WRONG!! Miss Litchi, please remember! He’s not the only one in your life! There’s Miss Millia! Miss Mele! Sir Judas! And me! And a lot more! We don’t want to see you like this! You don’t want it, don’t you!
Litchi: I… as much as I don’t want it…
Hazama: That’s enough talk, Litchi. Speak one more time, and we’ll destroy your chance to cure him.

Without a choice, Litchi continued to attack. Meanwhile, Ieyasu had to face Oichi by himself.

Ieyasu: Oichi, snap out of it! It’s me, Ieyasu! Lord Happy! Remember?
Oichi: Aah… aaah…. You’ve come to sleep eternally with me…?
Ieyasu: I’ll wake you up from this nightmare. That I swear!

The fight continued to rage further… until Unohana herself received a message from someone.

Unohana: Yes? You got him? Good. Thank you. Come back safely.

Thus Unohana then took on the battlefield. Even the forces of GUAE backed down behind her as she lightly approached Ieyasu.

Ieyasu: Really? Solid Snake has succeeded in rescuing Arakune?
Unohana: Indeed, and he even got the data of his cure from me as well.
Ieyasu: Thank goodness! Now the research for Lotte Carmine’s cure can continue under the GUAG!
Litchi: What!? Did I just hear that right??
Bang: Haha! Just as we planned!
Hazama: What?! Someone as brainless as you… HAVING PLANS!?
Bang: I’m not the idiot you thought I was! And for evil people like you, I’ll administer punishment!
Hazama: Grr…!

Hazama knocked Bang away using the Ouroboros. He then turned towards Litchi.

Hazama: Now’s your chance, Litchi. Kill him and we will give you more information about the cure.
Litchi: … I refuse.
Hazama: What!?
Litchi: Your hold on me was the cure. Now that the GUAG got it back, I see no more reasons to serve you! I’ve always known that you were this shady, and that you’ve no intention of curing him…
Hazama: Heh heh… HAHAHAHAHAHA! And it’s just now you found out!? What a dumb broad you’re; I bet all those intelligence books didn’t go to your brain, but your boobs!
Litchi: Enough! *rips away her emblem of GUAE* I hereby declare my resignation!


Ieyasu: Oichi! Remember Cosmos’ promise! We will find Lord Nagamasa together! The GUAE has no intention to find him! Come, Oichi! I’ll not lose another ally like this!
Oichi: Aah… L… Lord… Nagamasa…

Oichi found herself consumed with with her own darkness, until she collapsed, her dark hands vanishing. She remembered everything… her duty to seal Nobunaga rather than siding with him. Ieyasu hurried to her side.

Oichi: Lord… Happy…?
Ieyasu: Yes! It’s me! Are you all right now, Oichi?

Oichi only nodded. At that moment, Hazama became furious.

Hazama: You’re getting on my nerves, you damned shogun brat! You shall know what it means to oppose me! All of you… DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!! I’ll show you… THE POWER OF THE AZURE!!!
Ieyasu: Heh. Give it your best shot…
Ieyasu: Well it’s been quite awhile since I did this… Tadakatsu, charge!

Ieyasu’s mechanical steadfast ally suddenly arrived. Hazama was shocked, as Tadakatsu was devoid of despair; he was only loyal to Ieyasu and there was one enemy that he faced-the God of Trolling. And boy, did he hate trolls.

Hazama: Ahem… Hey, scrap metal! You wanna get your ass kicked again, like usual? You couldn’t even protect your lord last time. No wonder he’s been kidnapped so many times, huh? don’t worry. This time, I’ll give you a trashing so bad that the Red Devil would look handsome when compared to…
Tadakatsu: !!!!!!!

Having had enough, Tadakatsu instead shoved his drill spear onto Hazama’s mouth.

Hazama: Grrrrmmmmfffpplllghhhm!?
Ieyasu: If there’s one thing Tadakatsu hates… it’s trolls like you, Yuki Terumi! And behold! Kokonoe of Sector Seven has been generous enough to lend me the one thing used by Ragna the Bloodedge to defeat you back then… The Idea Engine! Now face your punishment for your crimes, Yuki Terumi! Tadakatsu, like usual!
Tadakatsu: !!!!!!!

The drill spear spun, spinning Hazama along with it, and ended up tossing him away.

Hazama: AAAAAHYAHAHAHAHA!!! (Damn you, Tokugawa Ieyasu… I’ll remember this…!)
Ieyasu: It didn’t stop him, but good work, Tadakatsu. That should be a huge blow to his ego. Just what he needed.
Tadakatsu: !!!!!!
Ieyasu: Whew… do tell… about the army?
Archer: It’s useless… Ieyasu.
Ieyasu: What?
Archer: You may have tossed Terumi, but your army is losing. If you don’t want to die, I suggest you retreat at once.
Ieyasu: But what about the rest of you!?
Jecht: Heh! No need to worry, we’ll be fine!
Sakuya: I have to stay… or Miss Remilia…
Ieyasu: I’m sorry everyone… I’ll come back for you! That I swear! All units retreat!

Thus, all of the units of GUAG retreated, at least only bringing along Litchi and Oichi. However, while resting, Ieyasu felt something weird…

Ieyasu: Weird… it’s like I’m being watched…
????: … su… yasu…
Ieyasu: That sounds familiar…

Ieyasu suddenly found himself ambushed by his arch rival… Ishida Mitsunari.

Ieyasu: M-Mitsunari!? What are you doing!?
Mitsunari: Killing you, that’s what! I’ve garnered enough power from the GUAE… now time for you to die!?
Ieyasu: Not you too…!?

As he was caught by surprise, Mitsunari was starting to overwhelm Ieyasu, until help arrived in he form of none other than Litchi herself.

Litchi: Stop this at once! I won’t let you kill him!
Mitsunari: You… you’re that Litchi Faye-Ling… how dare you betray the GUAE!?
Litchi: I have no regrets. I was only in the GUAE only to save him, but now that I can do it in the GUAG…
Mitsunari: TRAITOR!! You’ll no longer belong in either the GUAG or GUAE! Your only place is death!!
Litchi: Perhaps… But I’ll know that up until my death… I’m following the right cause… and my conscience.
Mitsunari: Hmph! You’re lucky today, Ieyasu. Next time, I’ll have your head on a pike!!

Mitsunari then quickly made his retreat, whereas Ieyasu’s group quickly returned to the GUAG realm, where the return of Litchi and Oichi was greeted warmly.

Meanwhile, back at the GUAG prison, Hazama was instead approached by someone… Mikoto Nakadai.

Mikoto: So that’s it? You’re just going to walk away like that?
Hazama: Let them have their fun. I still got a lot on my sleeve.
Mikoto: Really… and manipulating that lovely doctor?
Hazama: Oh, we’ll just capture that blob again and she’ll run back to us. You see, manipulating people like that is just a piece. You should know, since you liked manipulating people, unaware that your life was a product of manipulation of that Dezumoron-something. And with you on the GUAE, you’re so close about… HAAHAHAHAHA!! This, this is too much, Mikoto! Thanks for this great laugh!
Mikoto: Bakuryuu charged!

In a quick moment, Mikoto transformed and used his super speed to administer a beatdown to Hazama, who was caught off guard.

Abare Killer: You just lie down there and find your own fun. Such manipulation… you’re so sickening it’s below my standards. You ceased being fun,Yuki Terumi. I think the GUAG can provide me more games…

Abare Killer then left Terumi, also tossing the GUAE emblem of membership.

Unfortunately, however, Ieyasu was having trouble in the court about defending Litchi. Oichi got away free. However, the participants of her trial were not that lenient on Litchi. Even if the special chosen judge today was Captain America.

Ieyasu: But how can you say that!? She was obviously good!
Hakumen: Perhaps. But she was gullible, she chose that blob over the world! How do you know she won’t turn against us again!?
Garrus: You do realize this scar in my head was because of your doing, do you?
Litchi: I know… and I’m sorry, Garrus. May I fix it for you?
Garrus: No. Perhaps I’d rather see your head chopped… and dropped.
Litchi: I knew this will happen. It’s all right. It’s my punishment for this foolishness…
Shepard: Garrus, no! don’t you see? She’s suffering with guilt right now! Would you rather her become another Sidonis?
Garrus: Tch… as much as I wanted justice to be served… You make a point, Shepard.
Hakumen: Regardless, it may be on this realm that she repented. But on the others? She hasn’t. I object against welcoming her once more! She dared side with Terumi… there has to be a punishment!
Ieyasu: But isn’t death too much for…
Captain America: Order! Ahem… I have discussed with the House of Justice, including Phoenix Wright. And I believe that both sides were right. Litchi Faye-Ling is innocent and wanted to repent, but for the moment, in other universes, we still haven’t heard a resounding Heel–Face Turn. Therefore… Litchi Faye-Ling, until there’s a sound of that… you’re to stay at the GUAG’s House of Token Evil Teammates. don’t worry about your clinic, I’m sure Dr. Faust Baldhead will be glad to take over for you until your return.
Ieyasu: But she’s…!
Captain America: Calm down, general. You too, soldier. The decree may be like this, but worry not… I wanted you to return to the good graces once more. I visited your clinic and it was really a thoughtful visit. As much as I respect Faust, I’ll miss your presence. And of course, I’ll use all my powers to make sure you return properly.
Litchi: It’s all right, Captain. I accept this punishment for awhile.
Captain America: The decree has been declared. The meeting’s over!

As the crowd dispersed, Shepard and Garrus seen taking Litchi to the place amongst the Token Evil Teammates.

Garrus: Remember… if you ever stray from your current alignment once more…
Litchi: Yes, Garrus. I know. You’re free to execute me.
Shepard: I do hope you take this seriously. Garrus has a distaste for betrayal, and if you do it again, I don’t know if I can stop him.
Litchi: I’ll keep that in mind… Shepard.
Shepard: Take care. We’ll miss you… and we always await your return.

In the meantime, Ieyasu walked alongside Cap.

Captain America: Good work on the rescue, keep it up. I also heard from Tommy Oliver that Mikoto Nakadai has defected to our cause.
Ieyasu: Is it? That’s good news!
Captain America: What will you do now, Tokugawa Ieyasu?
Ieyasu: This may be good news, but this isn’t over yet. It’s only the beginning. One day, I’ll make sure that no good men shall be forced to do evil. This tragedy that befell on Litchi and our other friends… must not be repeated.
Captain America: Truly the spirit of Japan! If only those in WWII could understand compassion like you do. By the way… I think I saw Solid Snake curling on a cardboard box mumbling something like “Thought Dad was making stuffs up…” So unlike him. What happened?
Ieyasu: Ah… that… well, in the rescue mission, he did find out that someone else joined the Re-Educational Facility of GUAE… The Boss
Captain America: This is bad. We did reclaim Litchi and Oichi back… but The Boss herself is a fearsome figure, could be more of a threat than both of them combined. We need to stay prepared.

Meanwhile, however… things weren’t so quiet and peaceful in the Ninja headquarters, as Naruto Uzumaki was celebrating his promotion into the ‘Ninja Four Gods’… Schwarz was seen holding Bang on his ‘collar’ while Hayabusa just sighed at Naruto’s celebration.

Schwarz: And WHY did you make that deal before!?!?
Bang: M-my apologies! I was desperate!
Hayabusa: *sigh* Regardless, ninjas never back down from their words. He is pretty powerful, though… Guess he’s in for real.

End Result: Litchi and Oichi escaped from GUAE. Mikoto Nakadai defected. Tadakatsu rose to Godhood. The Boss also enters the GUAE. Ninja Trinity is revamped into Ninja Four Gods (with Naruto as the fourth member)

Rescue Operation: Re-Educational Facility Saga Part 3 – Infiltration 

After the rescue of Litchi, the GUAG settled for a bit. However, another person was still somewhat unpleased with the rescue. That person was a friend of hers, Noel Vermillion. She had also been training to rescue Tsubaki Yayoi. She has requested Aide from roughly 30 members of the GUAG. Sadly, roughly 1/6 of them agreed.

The 4 members who agreed were:

She trained, but her efforts weren’t enough…until Edward Elric appeared and agreed to help her with the rescue.

Edward: Where are you guys going?
Chun-li: To save Noel’s friend, as well as many other members of the Re-Educational Facility. You want to come?
Edward: …Sure, I have nothing else to do.
Chun-Li: I must warn you that Yuki Terumi is guarding them all.
Ed: Just another homunculus in my eyes. Relius is in the GUAE, yes?
Chun-Li: That’s correct.
Edward: I’m in.

Later, a helicopter came to their location. They put the helicopter on stealth mode so that the villains couldn’t see it. An hour later, they were 9 miles from the Re-Educational Facility prisoners. Unfortunately, the base was heavily guarded by members of GUAG, including the God of Trolling himself.

Edward: Is that the homunculus everyone hates?
Chun-Li: That’s correct, but we must stay out of their sights.
Edward: Good. I’d give a him a throw or two.
Chun-li: don’t forget that we’re saving a few members of the Token Good Teammates, one of them being a friend of Miss Vermillion’s.
Ed: Oh, that Noel girl? She hasn’t spoke ever since we’ve got on the helicopter. I think she’ll feel better once we complete our stealth mission.
Kenshin: don’t get arrogant. We haven’t met any of the goons yet.

35 minutes later, the group reached their destination.

Toki: As we all enter the prison, be as quiet as possible.
Hayate: Right. Let’s do this so I can serve the people at headquarters.
Edward: Gotcha.
Noel: (Tsubaki… I promise I’ll save you from the GUAE’s clutches.)

The six heroes infiltrated the TGT prison. Edward asked Chun-Li that she, Toki, Hayate, Kenshin, and Odie split up while he and Noel go on their own to rescue Tsubaki. Unbeknownst to all of them, some members of the GUAE were spying on them the moment they entered. Both groups took out mooks with no problem. Chun-Li wanted to gain some information about the GUAE’s next plan.

Chun-Li: Hey, guys, as we’re infiltrating, let’s gather some info on their next targets.
Toki: You have a point.
Kenshin: I don’t think it’ll turn out good.
Chun-Li: …..
Hayate: It may not turn out good, but it’s a wise choice.
Chun-li: I think you’re all going to have to go with the plan.
Toki (In a low voice): Keep in mind that this is a stealth mission, so keep your voices as low as possible.
Chun-Li (In a low voice): Right. Everyone, don’t make a loud sound.
Everyone (In a low voice): Right!

Meanwhile, Ed and Noel were silently working their way to save Tsubaki. They were at her cell, only for her, to their surprise, to not be inside. All of a sudden, a certain figure lashed at them. Edward moved Noel out the way of the attack. The figure revealed itself to be none other than Noel’s beloved friend…

Tsubaki: Noel… why did you take Jin away from me?
Edward: Jin? You mean the God of Assholes? He’s not even dating the girl.
Tsubaki: Liar!!
Noel: Tsubaki, please!
Edward: I’m telling the truth! *smirk* …And by the way, I don’t think your captain’s here to save you this time.
Tsubaki: I don’t care. I just want to eliminate Noel. That way, me and Jin can be together…
Edward: …I don’t think that’s the way to deal with things.
Tsubaki: Fine… If you’re the one supporting these two as a couple, I’ll kill both of you so I can be with him. Both of you’re sinners!
Edward: This is unnecessary… Even if you do kill us both, I don’t think he would be happy with that. Not only that… but speaking of sinners, aren’t ”you” working with them?
Noel: You were such a nice girl… And now you want to kill me? For Jin’s love?
???: Hahahahahahaha!! You got it, Dimensional Boundary Contact Medium # 12!! Isn’t it amazing? The love! The angst! The results are spectacular!!!
Edward: Hahahahahaha!! Looks like the God of Trolling finally decided to show himself! Hazama, was it? Or should I say….Yuki Terumi?
Tsubaki: !!!
Noel: I’ll never forgive what you did to me!!
Terumi: Oh, yes…that. You’ve become much stronger after your true form was awakened. Perfect for defending your friends, no? And it was all courtesy of yours truly…shouldn’t you be thanking me?
Noel: Shut up!!
Edward: If you’re trying to piss me off, you’re bombing hard. You’re pathetic… (His sounds familiar. )
Noel: Get out of our way, Terumi! We’re not gonna let you stop us!
Edward: (To Terumi) You really think you’re at the top? Nonsense!! I’ll take you on, Homunculus! I’ll show you just why you’re out your league.
Terumi: My! Quite the eager one we have here! I accept your challenge, Alchemist!

And so, the battle between Edward and the God of Trolling began. He charged right up to the troll, planning to attack. Quickly, Terumi jumped, and Ed missed. Terumi, in the air, summoned his ghouls to attack Edward, whom the latter transmuted his auto-mail into a blade to retaliate. Edward then transmuted the ground so that he could he could reach high and attack Terumi, but he missed a second time.

Terumi: Is that the best you’ve got? How boring.
Edward: Don’t get cocky, asshole. We’re not even close to done yet.

Terumi repeated his attack, but this time on the ground along with his Ouroboros, while Ed transmuted his auto-mail again, but this time into a spear to counter it. The noise of their battle awakened and alerted some members of the GUAE. Edward lanced at the God of Trolls, but once again missed, landing him into the wall. While Edward and Terumi were fighting each other, Noel and Tsubaki were also at it as well, trading heavy blows with each other. Noel managed to trip Tsubaki, kicking her while she was down in the process.

Meanwhile, Chun-li’s group were in the GUAE’s intelligence division. All of a sudden, noise started to reach them.

Chun-Li: That idiot! Did he forget about Noel’s plan?
Toki: I’m afraid they were caught by the GUAE.
Kenshin: This isn’t good. Let’s split up. Chun-Li, you, Toki, and Hayate continue to gather intelligence on their next plan. I’ll help Edward and Noel.
Hayate: Sounds like a plan.

They then parted ways.

Chun-Li: Toki! Hayate! Be on the lookout for any henchmen that come here….or worse.
Toki & Hayate: Got it!

Meanwhile, the battle between Edward and Terumi was intense, with neither of them having landed a single blow on the other. Edward was exhausted.

Edward: You’re a good opponent!
Terumi: The same goes for you too, you inferior alchemist.

Edward decided to transmute the ground few into countless spikes. Terumi got off with a tiny scratch on his shoulder. Edward followed up by transmuting the ground into moving fists. He missed, prompting Terumi to laugh at him.

Terumi:Too bad I’m better.

Terumi then charged himself towards Ed to whip him with the Ouroboros. Despite the auto-mail taking minor damage, Ed grabbed the Ouroboros chains and threw Terumi to the ground with them, but unfortunately, he escaped. Edward scowled, ready to charged at Terumi. At the last moment, some goons of the GUAE arrived to help Terumi out. Then, at the same time, a group of goons of the GUAG, lead by Ieyasu Tokugawa, ambushed the TGT for a counterattack. Noel and Edward were shocked.

Ieyasu: Hey, Fullmetal! Glad you guys played your parts.
Edward: No problem!!
Terumi: Ready for round 2, Ieyasu?
Edward: This guy… Ieyasu, I’ll take care of Terumi from here.
Unohana: Edward, before you go, let us “heal” your auto-mail.
Edward: No need to-
Unohana: *Death Glare*
Edward: O-ok… heal my auto-mail f-for me.
Unohana: *Healed Ed’s auto-mail*
Edward: Thanks…
Unohana: I’ve enhanced your auto-mail arm so it’ll be harder to break, as well as your left leg.
Ieyasu: Now go, Edward! Face the God of Trolls with all your might!
Edward: That bastard’s retreating! I have to catch up!

Noel, who had defeated Tsubaki 10 minutes before Unohana repaired Edward’s auto-mail, handed her to Ieyasu, and caught up with Ed. Kenshin and Odie were catching up to them, only to find the Gods of the GUAG and GUAE fighting.

Edward pursued Terumi into his huge backyard. But when Edward arrived, Terumi was gone. Frustrated, Edward started calling out his name.

Edward: Hey, Terumi! Show yourself!! Fight back! Damn, where’d he go…..

For a minute, Ed thought he wasn’t in his backyard. Then, a barrage of chains suddenly lashed out toward Ed. The Fullmetal Alchemist managed to avoid all the chains. Then, Terumi showed up…..doing a sarcastic clap.

Terumi: Bravo, Fullmetal! I never thought you’d made it this far. I’m pretty impressed.
Edward: Well, I’m not. Especially not by someone who’s both manipulating a girl and making her fight her friends!
Terumi: Nonsense!! That’s not true! Ask the shitty vampires. I bet they’ve got something to do with it.
Edward: (Sarcastic) I’ll ask them once we’re done fighting.

The Fullmetal Alchemist transmuted as he was moving. For some reason, he could run slightly faster than usual…

Edward transmuted his auto-mail to a blade. Preparing for another attack, he pretended to pray to make Terumi ridicule him. The trick worked, getting Terumi off guard, and letting Ed land a palm attack on him to the chin. Terumi threw several punches at Ed to the stomach, following with his Ouroboros chain, but the Fullmetal evaded them. Edward transmuted the ground to make a spear. Edward and Terumi clashed with each other again, this time resulting in the both of them getting injured. Terumi punched Edward in the stomach again, causing him to cough up blood.

Terumi: Hahahahahahahahahaha! You’ve put on quite a show, but it’s time I showed you a truth. A truth called….DES-
???: Edward!!!
Ed: Excellent timing, Noel!
Terumi: Oh…it’s that stupid, childish lieutenant. You’re here to play it up?
Ed: …
Noel: That’s Ex-Lieutenant.
Terumi: Haahaahahahahahahaaa! don’t matter!! Now, time to finish you both off!

As soon as Terumi tried to attack the two, he felt his arm being dismembered. But it wasn’t just his arm; he felt multiple simultaneous feelings across his body, causing him to lose his cool.

Terumi: M-my body… My body!!!!!! You bastard!!! How!? How can a little shrimp like you can actually damage my body?AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!
Edward: I’ve performed a transmutation that acted like the reaction time to that of a detonator. You should’ve been more careful. By the way, I’m not done yet!
Noel: Edward…
Edward: One more thing… DID YOU JUST CALL ME ‘SHRIMP’, YOU BASTARD!?!?

Edward, with his remaining strength, decided to transmute Terumi. He nearly succeeded in getting rid of him for good until Bison, the God of Terror, stepped in. Ieyasu, Unohana, Kenshin, Chun-Li, Toki, and Hayate, along with Ieyasu’s group of Gods, appeared and retreated to headquarters, carrying an unconscious Tsubaki with them. Terumi scowled, “furious” at what had just happened.


Noel: Thank you…all of you.
Chun-li: The pleasure is ours, Miss Vermillion.
Toki: With many Re-Educational members rescued, we’re at a good advantage. However, this may not be the last of them.
Kenshin: ….
Hayate: No problem.
Chun-li: Thanks to you guys, I’ll file these documents to the GUAG… *leaves*
Kenshin: (I’ll have to visit Aang.)
Edward: I wonder how that weirdo Vash is doing. (And speaking of Vash…) *looks at Noel and smiles* (She reminds me of Hawkeye.)
Noel: *to Ed* I-I think we should team up again some time.
Edward: Absolutely not. See you all later, by the way.

The group departs.

Noel: (I guess Tsubaki’s in the same division with Miss Litchi… *sigh* Time to play with Miss Litchi’s panda again!) *smiles*

End result: Tsubaki Yayoi and other few, non-God, token good guys (excluding The Boss) escaped from the GUAE. Chun-Li succeeded in gathering intelligence on the GUAE, which is yet to be revealed.

GUAE Gaiden – Evil Comfort

Terumi swore he was having a bad day. After the battle with Ed, he was rescued by the other Gods of the GUAE for recovery.

Terumi: God damn it to hell! Usually I’m the one in charged! Why do I feel like Melkor is playing me for a Butt Monkey!?
Relius Clover: Something on your mind… Terumi?
Terumi: OF COURSE! First that bratty Shogun, and next that shorty!? That beansprout alchemist almost nearly killed me! If it was Rags, I could’ve…
Relius: don’t worry about it. We’ve come up with some backup plans… isn’t that right, Precia?
Precia Testarossa: Indeed. At this rate, there’ll be no such things as traitors like that anymore. They’ll stay. For instance… that Sakuya Izayoi.
Terumi: Huh??
Aizen Sosuke: Hm, there she comes. Very well, tell me why you suddenly decided to stay… even if Remilia Scarlet found her way to deification.
Sakuya Izayoi: ZUN… he dared toss me away again… Until he includes me in his work once more… then I’ll stay as his enemy. And if you’ll hunt him down… I’ll help you.
Aizen: And I’m not even using the Kyoka Suigetsu.
Relius: Mima… she did her job well done.
Terumi: This… this is awesome! I may have lost Tsubaki… but now… I’ve got a stronger replacement! Okay, Sakuya, forget that shitty vampire Remilia… she is still loyal to ZUN! And don’t even worry about that shittier Flandre Scarlet! I’m stronger than her!
Sakuya: ….

GUAG Gaiden – Disturbing News 

After the GUAG rescued Tsubaki and a few other Token Good Teammates, Chun-Li gave the Intel she gained from the GUAE base to the house.

Chun-Li: Alright. Let’s see here… !!!
Captain America: What is it Chun-Li?
Chun-Li: This is bad… Some of the TGT are staying with the GUAE.
Captain America: This is worse than we thought. The Boss may be one instance. We must be more careful… There are those who are willing to come to the side of good.
Ieyasu: Anything else?
Chun-Li: No… that’s it.
Ieyasu: Well then… Let’s bring back those from the GUAG who are willing to come here to the side of good.
Unohana: I can’t let any more of my medics get converted to evil. Aizen’s a serious threat to the GUAG. We can’t underestimate him.
Chun-Li: ….
Ieyasu: We have Tadakatsu, who is immune, but I don’t think he’s not enough…
Captain America: They’re becoming much more dangerous than we first thought. We have to be on our guard at all times.
Chun-Li, Ieyasu & Unohana: Right!!

A Heartwarming Joining 

It was a short moment after the news of Sakuya’s decision to stay within the GUAE, and at that point Hazama was once again scheming his next move. It was at that time he was approached by a newly risen God amongst the GUAE… Reptile, God of Corrosive Acid.

Reptile: Hazama, as agreed to the deal, I’ve helped Bowssssser adding in several evil reptilians to the cause of GUAE.
Hazama: That so? Good, good! They may not be as good as my dear lil’ Ouroboros, but they’ll do good as some cannon fodders.
Reptile: Cannon… foddersssss…
Hazama: Yeah, yeah, but you don’t care, right? You only want the Saurian race revived. Even if the chance of us telling you that ‘All deals are off’ is just about… 100%!
Reptile: W… what did you sssssay!?
Hazama: HAHAHAHA! Naive as ever! No wonder Shao Kahn and Shinnok see no use of you other than as a grunt! Even Shang Tsung thinks so too! Just keep serving me like the lapdog you are! Or should I say ‘laplizard’? HAHAHAHA!!
Reptile: … Ssssss…
Hazama: Hey, Reptile… look above. Look to ‘la luna’! You used to say that all the time, right??
Reptile: What? *looks above*

In a dickish move just to make fun of him, Hazama kicked Reptile in the jaw, launching him to the ceiling, and planted his head on it.

Hazama: Man, that felt good! I held back, don’t worry. But one day, I’d so love to use my Jayoku Houtenjin as a ‘Fatality’ you often boasted, on your head! Just for your information, I never lie. Learn to enjoy your role, you sewer lizard!
Reptile: …..

As Hazama left laughing, Reptile finally dropped himself to the ground, coughing and pondering what Hazama really said.

Reptile: Again I’ve been had…!? Why doesssss this happen alwayssss to me…!? But I must sssserve… or…
????: Then get out of the GUAE…
Reptile: What?! Who’ssss there!?
????: Or would you rather let history repeat itself?
Reptile: ….

Pondering the mysterious voice, Reptile realized that his experience of serving bad guys always nabbed him failures. Shao Kahn, Shinnok, Nitara… they all turned their words against him. He decided that for a charged, he would take a bet and leave the services of GUAE. Using his invisibility, he snuck out of the GUAE and wandered out to the realms.

On the upper part, however, his exploits were seen by both Shang Tsung and Hazama.

Hazama: Hey, you sure you’re OK with this?
Shang Tsung: Hmph, let it be. He’s outlived his usefulness for the last time. We had better warriors in our disposal.
Hazama: You’re not mad at me for giving him the bare facts, right? I mean, I can’t help but be honest!
Shang Tsung: Even if he’s with the GUAG… he’ll of be no threat to us. Pity about Mr. Freeze though, he said he was rather fond of that reptilian man.

Reptile soon came across the halls of the GUAG. He didn’t know what to do, so he just looked at the gates. From afar, he saw the good guys enjoying themselves. Reptile just sighed as he walked away.

Reptile: (I’ll never belong here…)

But it was just then his stomach grumbled. For some reason there weren’t any insects or even men to eat. He could just grab a random good Mook and eat his head, but he decided against it, rather than alarming the good guys to beat him to death.

He decided to look around further and came across the GUAG Token Evil Teammates section, where morally questionable members of the GUAG gathered. He felt like he would belong there, but first, he had to find something to eat. But there wasn’t even a single thing for him to eat. Starving, Reptile slowly walked and walked until he collapsed to the ground.

Reptile: (F… food… Am I… going to die here…? Wassss that voice… lying again…? Foolissssh meee…)

Slowly, the Saurian lost his consciousness…Until…

????: But he was in the GUAE! Why are you helping him!?
????: Enemy or not, right now I just can’t let him be! Besides, I’ve heard of him.
????: As usual, you’re too kind for your own good. Fine, handle the consequences on your own.
Reptile: (What wasss that?) Uh…

When Reptile woke up, he found himself in the ‘infirmary’ of the GUAG’s Token Evil Teammates, where Litchi Faye-Lingresided.

Litchi: Ah! So you’ve awakened!
Reptile: Y… you… I know you. You usssssed to be in the GUAE…
Litchi: Yes, but it didn’t matter. You need help…
Reptile: You do realize that I could jusssst eat your head right about now?
Litchi: And I know you’re too hungry to even do that. Here, I made you a warm soup.
Reptile: I, Reptile, do not eat sssssoup!
Litchi: Oh, so that’s your name? Reptile? How straightforward. My name is Litchi Faye-Ling.
Reptile: … What am I doing here again?
Litchi: Do you mind telling me your story? I won’t laugh at it. But first, you need to eat.
Reptile: I eat humanssss, not ssssoupssss!
Litchi: Oh, don’t worry about it. This is just as good!

Reptile was tempted to just stick his tongue and shower Litchi with his acid on the head, but for some reason, he didn’t. He was too weak for that. So he just lay down there as Litchi made him eat her soup.

Litchi: Well? So how was that?
Reptile: … Sssssurprisingly good… for ssssomething not out of human flessssssh.
Litchi: Some good people from the House of Food were kind enough to give me this, and I’ve been learning its recipe. I hope you like it!
Reptile: … Why are you ssssso kind to me?
Litchi: Is there any reason why you shouldn’t help people in need?
Reptile: Need….
Litchi: You look troubled. Do you mind telling me what happened?

Reptile was silent. But eventually, he ended up telling his tale, starting from his race’s destruction, him being the last Saurian and his desperation to bring it back. Not to mention him being constantly screwed off by his employers and recently… by Melkor.

Reptile: There. Do you sssssuppose I’m ssssstill a good being? I’m evil, bound to it…!
Litchi: No.

Instead, uncaring of Reptile’s hideous face, Litchi hugged him and even put his head in between her breasts.

Litchi: I was like you after all, desperate in reaching my goal, and even resorting to serve evil, even when I knew they were evil. But the GUAG people reminded me of my good heart. Even if it was my punishment to be here, I held no ill will to them. We’re so much alike, Reptile… You’re not evil. Perhaps not completely good, but your only desire is to save your race, just like how I wanted to save him…
Reptile: F… firsssst off… you’re not ssssscared of me?
Litchi: No, of course not.
Reptile: ….

For once, Reptile felt something different. Warmth. He never felt feelings of warmth amongst his old masters, but Litchi gave him one, despite being doomed to side amongst many morally questionable men. This woman was undeniably good.

Reptile: (Is thissss it… the placcce? But if they turn their backssss againssst…)
????: How about it, Reptile?
Reptile: That voice…!

It was the same voice that called him. When he turned his back, he saw Cosmos standing in front of him.

Litchi: Cosmos!? How rare of you, visiting us here…
Reptile: Did you lead me here on purposssse?
Cosmos: Yes… Reptile, I’ve seen your tale. It was a sad tale where you would be constantly screwed off by evil for your noble goal. We exist to not let it happen anymore… That is why…
Reptile: Are you sssssaying that I musssst join the GUAG?
Cosmos: Exactly. Even if you’ll eventually be placed here, I’m sure you’ll do fine. Litchi and I’ll be there to keep you sane.
Litchi: I… I’ll do my best.
Reptile: But if I ssssstay here… will I… will I be able to ressssstore the Saurianssss?
Cosmos: Indeed. Our research team is working hard to find a way to restore them, or find a female Saurian for you to reproduce. It is possible, and we never backstab our friends.
Reptile: Issss that ssssooo… Very well… I’ll take your offer for it, Cossssmossss… I’ll join the GUAG.
Cosmos: Thank you, Reptile. Please, don’t worry about the food. The celestial kitchen, even for those who were in this section, will keep your stomach filled with foods that are as tasty as how you taste humans… without killing humans.
Reptile: Well issssn’t that interesssting…
Cosmos: Then I wish you luck. Welcome to the team, Reptile.

Cosmos then vanished, planning to tell everyone about the welcoming of Reptile. Meanwhile, however…

Reptile: Ssssooo… Litchi.
Litchi: Y… Yes?
Reptile: You don’t mind having a hideousssss friend like me?
Litchi: I never minded. Let’s be friends.
Reptile: Thank you…

Henceforth, seeing her as a kindred spirit, Reptile became fast friends with Litchi, becoming her defender and would protect her from many harms. Be it from the GUAE, or those who accuse her as selfish…

Outcome: Reptile joins the GUAG as a member of the Token Evil Teammates.

GUAG Gaiden: The Master of Death’s Plan 

After Reptile was accepted to the GUAG, Gig planned something in case things didn’t go as Cosmos planned for him. So he sought out people who were willing to kill minions and henchmen of the GUAE. But in the end, his only recruit was Deadpool of the Token Evil Teammates.

Gig: Hey, Deadpool, if I’m mistaken… Have you heard of the new guy who was just accepted by the Good Guys?
Deadpool: Eeew!! That hideous monster!? There’s no way I’ll invite him to any of my great parties. Besides, Mikoto Nakadai is a much better buddy of mine. Heck, I still remember the last party we had! We had beer, soda, sake, sushi- oh man, it was-
Gig: Shut up already! Ugh, you’re even more annoying than that stupid cow! *Sigh* Anyways, I have a plan! Kill and dismember a good number of GUAEminions, especially the giant mooks, whether they’re human or not. I’m still skeptical about Cosmos’ plan of putting Reptile in the hands of that Nurse…
Deadpool: Piece of cake. Slaughtering henchmen is my forte! Actually, slaughtering in general is my forte… Oh, I know! After that, I can celebrate with most of the tropers!
Gig: (Dammit all to hell…)
???: So you want us to kill the [[Mooks henchmen]] in the GUAE so Reptile would be sane?
Gig: That’s right….er, spiky-haired guy with the eye-patch.
Kenpachi Zaraki: That’s excellent. I’m definitely in. Master of Death, leave the Big Minions to me. They should be no problem…
Gig: Hey, someone who’s not annoying. Awesome! Okay, after you’ve killed the minions, I’ll secretly give the chopped-off flesh to the House Of Food. The problem is that we’re gonna need a cook who approves of the plan.
Kenpachi: I’ll find people who agree to the plan. We can’t let any of the GUAG seniors get involved in this.

With that, Kenpachi left.

Kenpachi: (I’ve just talked with the Master of Death…..and I’m beginning to like him already.)
Gig: Deadpool, gather up Sociopathic Heroes along with that spiky-haired guy with the eyepatch. I’ll find a chef who’ll approve of this.
Deadpool: Gotcha! Oh, are you gonna give me hotpods after we’re done?
Gig: (annoyed) NO! *beats Deadpool to a pulp*
Deadpool: Gig! I’m sorryy!! HEEEELLLPPPPPP MEEEEE!!!

It didn’t take long until Gig found another person interested in his plan… amongst the Token Evil Teammates no less… Shin.

Shin: So you’re telling me that you’re looking for someone to dismember GUAE Mooks?
Gig: Damn straight! But what can you do?!
Shin: See for yourself. Behold the power of Nanto Seiken!

Without delay, Shin let out many high-pitched shrieks as he struck down the table near Gig, cutting it down in pieces in seconds.

Shin: And that was just one branch of Nanto… Nanto Koshuu Ken. Well then, this’ll be a good activity to kill some time.
Gig: *Sarcastic* That’s pretty unamusing for a human like you.
Shin: Do you want me to test it on you?
Gig: Okay, Okay. You’re in! Just don’t bitch around with that annoying bastard I’ve brought a few minutes ago.
Shin: Good! If you feel like you need more people, go out there and ask that Nanto Suicho Ken user Rei, he has a similar style. Now then… I’m off.

To be continued

Revenge of the GUAE 

At some point after the defection of Reptile, Sub-Zero (still in his Grandmaster of the reformed Lin Kuei mode) learned something about the plan from Thor.

Sub-Zero: Is it? So Raiden conducted this plan?
Thor: Indeed. I’ll consider it his attempt at redemption after pulling that ‘Dark Raiden’ nonsense, when he was thinking too extreme. He may need your help.
Sub-Zero: Very well then. I shall lend him an avatar of mine.

Accompanied with Thor, Sub-Zero formed an avatar shaped like him, basically in his young age, in order to assist Raiden. He planned to relive Sub-Zero’s mortal life in Raiden’s new life, which involved sending a message to his past self in order to stop the threat of Shao Kahn once and for all. Thor promised that if he succeeded, he would give a position to Raiden somewhere.

Later on, Thor invited Sub-Zero for a talk somewhere in House of Food, relaxing with the food over there. They were discussing the current events.

Sub-Zero: The Good has been gaining new members, I see. Even I thought that to be impossible. I’m glad.
Thor: Yes, Steve Rogers has told me the recent events, including that rival of yours. Scorpion, wasn’t it?
Sub-Zero: I suppose he did find the truth about Quan Chi. I’m more surprised about Reptile, though.
Thor: Ah Yes, you used to always be on opposing sides against each other.
Sub-Zero: I guess even a Saurian has a limit of patience. That new caretaker of his… I have to say, she is an impressive fellow.
Thor: Had it not been for the regulations, we wouldn’t have put Litchi Faye-Ling into the Token Evil Teammates. She didn’t deserve the status.
Sub-Zero: The time will come, she will not be there for long. Besides, she’s doing a good job in taming Reptile. I realized that this is exactly what he needed, a benevolent master… unlike the likes of Shao Kahn and Shinnok…
???: I’m afraid that I must interrupt your free time for the moment. There’s an urgent matter at hands.

It was none other than the Goddess of Graceful Battle, Signum, who interrupted the conversation. Judging from her look, it was kind of dire.

Thor: And what has brought thou here, Lady Signum?
Signum: There’s been an attack at the House of Beasts. Sources say that Cairne Bloodhoof, along with Komamura Sajin, fell to the attack.
Sub-Zero: Must’ve been an attack of the GUAE… So are we to investigate — no, beforehand, has the wounds be taken care of?
Signum: Komamura was out of commission. However, he appointed his up and coming priest Wolf O’Donnell to replace him. But Cairne’s still left without a successor, as his son Baine was still in trial. But the Medical Division has been helping tend to him.
Thor: This is no time to be down, an investigation must take place. However, my presence can be easily spotted.
Sub-Zero: You can count on the two of us. Let’s go, Signum.

On the nod, both ventured into the wilds, investigating about the recent attacks on the GUAE. They separated at one point. On Sub-Zero’s side, however, he encountered someone speaking with a shadowy figure. It was the Killer of Heroes,Barbatos Goetia with someone unknown.

Barbatos: Yes, Yes, whatever. That bull and jobber did looked way too boring. Where’s my next kill?!
????: Over there… Now excuse me, I’ve got other projects to work on.
Barbatos: Good… Hey you!
Sub-Zero: Spotted, huh? The attack on Komamura and Cairne… it was your doing, wasn’t it?
Barbatos: Ha! So, what? I suppose I did a favor for the GUAG by removing weaklings like them. That way, they’ll provide more challenging fights. You’re next!!
Sub-Zero: Try if you can, but don’t you dare underestimate the power of Lin Kuei, especially of a cryomancer!

Sub-Zero and Barbatos engaged in a fatal battle. Even with just a trusty axe, Barbatos proved to be a great threat to Sub-Zero. However, his cryomancy didn’t count as magic, thus it rendered Barbatos’ forte useless, giving Sub-Zero an advantage. Eventually, one clean uppercut knocked Barbatos down for good, making him dizzy. Sub-Zero gave no response as he proceeded to freeze Barbatos’ lower torso. Sub-Zero then grabbed his neck, choking him.

Sub-Zero: Any last words…? This is for those you attacked.
Barbatos: HAHAHAHA! You really are an idiot! Right about now… your friend would be…
Sub-Zero: What? … Signum!?

Sub-Zero really wanted rip Barbatos’ body to pieces at that point, but he decided otherwise. Leaving Barbatos there, he ran off. A short time later, Barbatos unfroze himself.

Barbatos: Heh heh, enjoy your victory… because I held back.

Signum, on the other hand, encountered Barbatos’ ally, who was just done slaughtering several GUAG soldiers… Cypha of the Huckebein.

Signum: You… Did you do this? You have three seconds to start explaining. 3…
Cypha: don’t bother, I’ll start explaining. Yes, I did this by myself… so what? It was an enjoyable sight. Also, that bull and dog? I killed them too.
Signum: Unforgivable…!

Signum attacked Cypha, but she put up quite a fight. Intending to finish it quickly, Signum lunged to strike when Cypha was vulnerable on the stomach. However, Cypha was seemingly unaffected. Laevatain started to crack as eventually, Cypha shoved her away. Suddenly, a steel cross appeared on the ground. Cypha swung her katana, causing an unknown force to push Signum towards the cross . Suddenly, her wrists and ankles were cuffed into the cross.

Signum: Gah!? What in the world…
Cypha: Hahaha! Well, that guy’s device sure proved useful!
Signum: Such cheating…!
Cypha: Heh. Serves you right for following that stupid old fashioned idea of chivalry.
Signum: Rrgh…
Cypha: Now, time for you to die…

In a quick movement, Cypha impaled Signum and the cross on the chest, fatally wounding her. Sub-Zero appeared too late.

Sub-Zero: Signum…!
Signum: Sub… Zero… Sorry…

As Signum collapsed and Sub-Zero cradled her in his arms, he realized that it wasn’t too late for her to be saved. He borrowed her communicator and requested reinforcement, until he eventually faced Cypha.

Cypha: Huh? Who the hell are you? Regardless, let her be a warning, for those who dared cross the Huckebein and the GUAE.
Sub-Zero: You and Barbatos… you’re unforgivable.
Cypha: Yeah? So what? Are you gonna kill me for that? Ha! Go ahead and try.
Sub-Zero: I won’t try to…I WILL! This fight shall be your last!

Sub-Zero took over the fight against Cypha, and once again, due to his fighting ability not really counting as magic power, he was unaffected with Cypha’s weapons. Sub-Zero wouldn’t show mercy this time. He was on the way to grab Cypha’s neck and then rip off her spine with his frozen hand, and then beat the crap out of her body with that spine. But at that moment suddenly something happened. Sub-Zero felt incredibly weak.

Sub-Zero: What in the world!?
Cypha: Showing mercy, aren’t you!? Well, you’re no different than this weakling! This match is mine, and you’ll die for it…!

In that instant, the weakened state of Sub-Zero was abused, and Cypha beat him to the very inches of his life. He was unsure of what had happened to him, and couldn’t believe he had lost this easily just before victory was in his grasp… until suddenly Cypha was blocked by a gigantic energy arrow. A shadow loomed over her as a metallic feather fell near her. It turned out that Lamia Loveless arrived after hearing the call for help and already snatched Signum into her Angelg’s hand.

Lamia: So you’re the one from the Huckebein family. How dare you do this to Signum and even used the sacred name of Huckebein…
Cypha: Who the hell are you!? Giant or not, I’ll still beat you like the weaklings you all are!
????: And thou shall not experience such a chance!

A bolt of lightning struck near Cypha, and this time, it was Thor who covered Sub-Zero and helped him get up.

Thor: Are you all right?
Sub-Zero: I failed…
Lamia: Thor can explain that. For now, a retreat is in order.
Cypha: Ha! Run like the cowards you are! You can tell the GUAG that this is what will happen to those who opposed the Huckebeins!
Lamia: Then next time I wreck you so hard, you can tell the GUAE that same thing happens to those who dare endanger us.

The good guys retreated. Once arriving, they were in for some explaining, while Sub-Zero and Thor were in the infirmary, guarding Signum.

Sub-Zero: So that’s why…
Thor: Yes. Raiden succeeded in destroying Shao Kahn. But in process, he lost so many warriors in his realm, including your avatar, who, while turned into a cyborg and stronger with his morality intact, instead fell under Quan Chi’s control.
Sub-Zero: That explains why I was suddenly depowered. I put too much of my power in that avatar. What of Raiden, though?
Thor: He’s too distraught that he refused to enter the Pantheon. I do understand, though. However, ’twas a sad thing that Signum ended up this way.

The door opened as Lamia entered. Apparently she had just finished counseling with Cosmos.

Sub-Zero: What have come to pass from Cosmos?
Lamia: Just so we’re not demoralized, we agreed to have Signum hide from the public until his recovery.
Thor: I suppose it had to be done.

Both Lamia and Sub-Zero approached Signum’s bed, and gave one last look at her.

Lamia: For now, rest, my friend. I’ll avenge you.
Sub-Zero: I’ll make up my blunder one day. Don’t die until then.
Thor: Let us go. There are a lot of things that we have to catch up with and rebuild…
Lamia: And we cannot let the GUAE pull another counterattack like this.

Results: Depowering of Signum, Cairne Bloodhoof and Sub-Zero; Komamura is replaced by Wolf O’Donnell.

    The Counter Guardian

While the events with Sub-Zero and Signum were occurring, someone paid a visit to the Token Evil Teammates quarter… Jin Kisaragi. Who was he visiting over there? None other than Tsubaki Yayoi.

Jin: Tsubaki.
Tsubaki: Ah! Jin! I… well, it’s so rare for you to come.
Jin: I just got free time. These rules were getting annoying.
Tsubaki: Rules? Please, Jin. I’m here on my own accord. I realized how gullible I was…
Jin: Quit it. So you’re doing fine, I take it?
Tsubaki: The roomates around were kind of nasty, but thank goodness there’s at least someone sane enough like Miss Litchi to keep me from the insane ones. So… I’m fine.
Jin: Hmph, so at least there are uses for that obsessed bitch.
Tsubaki: Jin, you shouldn’t belittle a lover like that!
Jin: What of it? She deserves to be here. Betrayal due to inability to let go… she should do us all a favor and purge that feeling.
Tsubaki: What if… what if you had to pay a huge price to your morality if it’s to save me?
Jin: …. I’m tired of arguing with you, Tsubaki. charged the topic, before I leave.
Tsubaki: Okay… um… ah! Have you seen Hakumen?
Jin: He’s away for a bit. Said there was a challenge he needed to attend…

In the meantime, through the fields of battle, there was suddenly blood splattered across the ground. Or rather, electronic sparks, or rather… whatever. The point is, GUAE Re-educational Facility member Archer had finally used what he learned from the Re-Educational Facility, gutting out the ‘heart’ of his thinly veiled knockoff, “ARCHER”, using both his Kanshou and Bakuya.

Archer: Heh… It’s over. Finally, no more of this ‘Unlimited Ripoff Works’ idiocy…
????: And what exactly are you doing?

When Archer looked behind, he saw Hakumen already standing to face him.

Archer: Oh, you came.
Hakumen: And what are you doing with that… ‘God’?
Archer: Well as you can see, I destroyed him.
Hakumen: Fool! What gives you the right to eliminate people like that!?
Archer: You had better listen, Hakumen. How would you feel… if there was a being committing mockeries in your name, and he wasn’t even you from your past? Disgust don’t even describe what I feel.
Hakumen: And for that end, you would join the GUAE!?
Archer: Hmph, it was only thanks to them that I was able to do this.
Hakumen: And I thought you were a Worthy Opponent of mine….
Archer: don’t worry, I still am. I haven’t lost my touch… and I intend to honor that promise we made.
Hakumen: Fool… A fallen God like you… I’ll eliminate!

As both Gods faced off, an immense aura surrounded them as they prepared to start with an incantation combat.

Hakumen: I am the white void.
Archer: I’m the bone of my sword.
Hakumen: I am the cold steel.
Archer: Steel is my body and fire is my blood.
Hakumen: I am the just sword.
Archer: I have created over a thousand blades.
Hakumen: With blade in hand shall I reap the sins of this world…
Archer: Unknown to death nor known to life.
Hakumen: … and cleanse it in the fires of destruction!
Archer: Have withstood the pain to create many weapons…
Hakumen: I am…Hakumen!
Archer: Yet these hands will never hold anything.
Hakumen: The end has come!!
Archer: So, as I pray… Unlimited Blade Works.

Soon the battlefield was engulfed and turned into a Reality Marble, the Unlimited Blade Works, the field of blades. Archer picked up a sword projected nearly… the overly long Masamune.

Archer: Well then… bring it on, hero.
Hakumen: YAAARGH!!

Both Archer and Hakumen were then locked in a massive sword lock, both facing each other, pushing their blades with all their strength. The sword lock remained for minutes… nay, hours, with neither of them getting a clear upper hand against the other. It was only after a brief moment of struggle that Hakumen feinted and threw Archer off using his seal, only for Archer to do a mid-air flip and shoot Hakumen with several arrows, all which were blocked.

Hakumen: How long will you play around like that?
Archer: Well, who knows?
Hakumen: This ends now. Kokuujin: Shippu!!

Hakumen delivered a mighty slash. Normally, if Archer wanted to live, he would’ve used the Rho Aias. But he didn’t. The Ookami struck him… or perhaps not. Instead of Rho Aias, Archer projected two mighty powerful weapons to block the Ookami while doing the Kokuujin: Shippu… projecting both Soul Edge and Frostmourne, dually wielding them and blocking the blade.

Hakumen: That…!
Archer: Surprised? It’s thanks to the GUAE that I can do this.
Hakumen: What do you think you’re doing with those evil weapons!? Do you want to sell your soul!?
Archer: No, I don’t. Because this is created from my Reality Marble, they lack the power to errode my soul, at the cost of much of my power. But don’t worry, this’ll be enough… Though I like Kansho and Bakuya better.
Hakumen: Smart move… but not enough to end me!

Both began fighting once more. But then, time suddenly stopped as someone entered… Terumi.

Terumi: Wow Wow, Bravo! Oh, don’t mind me, continue the fight! Worthy Opponent against Worthy Opponent, truly a battle to remember!
Hakumen: Terumi…! You… so you’re responsible for this…!
Terumi: Oh yes, precisely! I just promised him that we could destroy that defect copy and he came right in! Isn’t it right, Archie? Just like the selfish little bastard that you are…
Archer: ….
Hakumen: Unforgivable…!
Archer: You let your guard down.

With one swing from both Soul Edge and Frostmourne, Archer managed to cross slash Hakumen, bringing him to his knees.

Archer: Well, looks like I win.
Hakumen: Grr… No.. I can still go on…
Terumi: I’m tired of waiting! Come on, Archer! Finish it!
Archer: Sure thing…

Archer stepped slowly to Hakumen. The hero didn’t waver and was ready to counter further. Archer then raised his sword, and suddenly threw Frostmourne at Terumi’s knee.

Terumi: Wha!?
Archer: Say your prayers, Terumi!

To Hakumen’s shock, Archer lunged towards Terumi and slashed his arm with Soul Edge, causing his arm to bleed.

Terumi: Hey, what gives!?
Archer: Killing that “ARCHER” was awesome. But I’m done here. My job working for the GUAE is done.
Hakumen: In other words…
???: Yep, I asked him.

A girl suddenly appeared behind Hakumen. The Goddess of Zettai Ryouiki, Rin Tohsaka.

Rin: I thought it’d be advantageous for us to have knowledge on the GUAE weaponry, so I asked Archer to go join up with the GUAE and gather knowledge on the enemy weapons. And to make it worth his while, I set it up so that “ARCHER” would meet his demise.
Terumi: Insolent little…! This wouldn’t happen if you’re in my…
Rin: Come again? This is different from your universe, Terumi. You’re just another thwartable Troll who doesn’t always get that victory ticket anymore! I bet this would’ve hurt your haughtiness in your world, huh? Just mark my words, you’re not invincible.
Terumi: You… That voice… That shitty vampire… DIE ALREADY!!
Rin: Hee hee, do you really think I’m that defensele—

But Rin didn’t get to finish the sentence. Suddenly, time stopped, and in that instant, Terumi stomped on Rin’s chest. And all of a sudden, thousands of knives surrounded Hakumen and Archer, and they were suddenly stabbed a million times. When time resumed, Rin realized who was behind this… Sakuya Izayoi.

Rin: Getting too… into the role, huh… Sakuya?
Sakuya: …
Terumi: Bzzt, wrong! She is completely submitted to us…! And you can have that foppish ZUN to blame!
Rin: Huh!? That means… that event of Ten Desires
Terumi: Bingo! Because that ZUN forgot about herself once more, she’s mad, and as a result, more devoted to us for the sake of her vengeance! Shows just how petty she can be, right? Perfect and Elegant Maid, my ass! It’s more like uber-jealous and useless maid. So much that ZUN forgot she existed! How pathetic is that?!? NGYAHAHAHAHA!!
Archer: S… Sakuya… Is that…
Sakuya: It’s the truth. I’m here on my own accord and until ZUN apologizes…
Terumi: And now, the good news! I got Relius to prepare some replicas of the Black Beast, and I’d like to test their strength… ON YOU!

On cue, several gigantic Black Beasts materialized behind Terumi, ready to strike.

Hakumen: What!? Those monsters…did Terumi plan this whole thing!?
Terumi: Magic’s awesome, right!? But you know what’s even more awesome? Seeing you all with grief painted on your faces as you all die, while we laugh at your demise!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
????: SILENCE!!!

Suddenly, there was another shadow behind Rin. It belonged to a single, gigantic being… more like a giant robot. There was a long blade in the robot’s hand. Which could only mean one thing…

Sanger: Dygenguard, at your service!! My friends… I’ll take care of this. You must flee!
Archer: Sanger Zonvolt…!
Terumi: Oh, not you stupid, evil hating creep again! Evil is awesome, you need to embrace it!
Hakumen: Your words are useless! Zanshin!

Hakumen used this chance to knock Hazama away, freeing Rin from his stomp.

Rin: T… thanks, Hakumen.
Hakumen: We’ll have to leave this to Sanger. Let’s retreat.
Rin: … Yeah, mission accomplished after all. But Sakuya…
Archer: That’s for another mission, I’m afraid. I’d rather not let my information go wasted.
Sanger: What are you all waiting for, hurry! The Pantheon still needs you!
Terumi: Nag nag nag nag, you’re all annoying! The Pantheon!? Nothing but lies! There’s only one truth… DESPAIR…
Sanger: SILENCE!!! AND LISTEN!!! My name is Sanger… Sanger Zonvolt! I’m the Sword That Smites Evil!!
-The Dygenguard’s Zankantou/Colossal Blade began materializing a huge zweihander…-
Sanger: One cut from my Unyou no Tachi… and these minor creatures will be cleansed!
Terumi: Minor…!? Hey, I put extra efforts in creating it…
Archer: Chance…!

As Dygenguard leapt to the sky, Hakumen, Archer and Rin escaped as Terumi took cautious steps and the Black Beasts were preparing to fire off a huge combined blast. The blast was fired and…


In one swing, the blast was cut in two and the whole squadron of replica Black Beasts was destroyed. When the dust cleared, it seemed that Terumi and Sakuya had fled.

Sanger: He got away. But not for long. He won’t escape… because there’s nothing my Zankantou/Colossal Blade cannot cut.

Dygenguard then flew away, awaiting the next battle. Meanwhile, Rin reported that her operation was a success, and Archer was welcomed back to the ranks of the GUAG. Right now, once again the Force of Good regained an edge…

Result: Archer defects and returns to the GUAG.

GUAG Gaiden: The Master Of Death’s Plan 2 

Despite the recent events, Gig, being more concerned about Reptile, keep looking for a chef from the House Of Food. Eventually, he found one in the form of Vlad Taltos.

Gig: Hey, you!!
Vlad: What do you want?
Gig: I have to ask you something… But can we go into a more secluded place?
Vlad: Fine I guess…

They went into a secluded place.

Vlad: So… What is it that you want?
Gig: Okay, I’m getting the feeling that Reptile guy might go insane if he goes too long without eating flesh.
Vlad: Reptile? That ugly mutant that’s under the care of Litchi Faye-Ling?
Gig: That’s the one. Listen, I need a chef who can cook dismembered Minions.
Vlad: What for?
Gig: In case that bastard goes insane again.
Vlad I must say, it’s quite the surprise to see generosity from you, The Master Of Death himself.
Gig: Shut up, asshole!
Vlad: Ho ho ho ho! I’m in.
Gig: *sigh* Good. Just don’t tell the seniors about it, please?
Vlad: If you insist. Oh well, I’ll be leaving.
Gig: I’ll give you more details after I’m done… Later…

Gig departed from the House of Food. He had some loose ends to tie up. He eventually bumped into into another man… Nanto Suicho Ken user Rei.

Gig: Hey, asshole!!! Watch where you’re—-Huh? (Is this is the guy that martial artist mentioned?)
Rei: … Is there a problem?
Gig: No, not really. I was just here searching for you.
Rei: ?
Gig: Ugh, how ’bout we talk about this in my room…

In Gig’s room, after Gig explained his cause…

Gig: Okay. Here’s my plan: You’ll rip off and tear down body parts of the GUAE mooks. Then, we’ll feed them to that hideous Saurian, or whatever it’s called, so that he won’t go crazy.
Rei: His name’s Reptile, if I’m not mistaken…
Gig: Yeah. Anyway, this other guy told me to go look for you because you have the same fighting style as him…
Rei: You must be talking about Shin. I’m in, as long he don’t get in my way.
Gig: Ok. (Whew, now I can go to sleep.)
Rei: (Hm, this is new. So…someone like him can see the light? I heard that the House of Food’s been preparing some extra ingredients that are said to ‘taste like humans without killing humans’.. But should I just go along with this Gig’s plan, or should I let the House of Food go with their more benevolent plan? I’ll have to observe further.)

Attempt of Hostile Takeover 

It was only a matter of time that the GUAE heard about Signum’s wounding. The GUAG had been busy with preparing Utena Tenjou to temporarily take over the house of Graceful Battle. However, that very house would soon find itself under attack…by none other than Haman Kahn. Sitting on the cockpit of her Qubeley, Haman was ready to launch her prepared attack, alongside several others outside of mecha that she recruited, and a lot of mooks.

Haman: The time has come. Signum has proven herself unworthy. I’ll claim the throne for myself and the GUAE. All units… attack!

Moved by her charisma, Haman led the charge towards the House, first firing 3 energy blasts towards it. But suddenly, the blasts were struck by several beam lances, causing them to explode before they could reach their target. The perpetrator was none other than a great ally of Signum… in mecha. It was Lamia Loveless and her Angelg.

Lamia: Haman, I won’t let you take over my friend’s seat.
Haman: You were crushed easily by that Wilhelm von Juergen, yet you DARE try to get in my way? Laughable. Get out before I crush you.
Lamia: That attitude again… I suppose I should just show you just how wrong that rumor was. All systems green… let’s go.

Brandishing the Mirage Sword, Angelg soon found itself engaged with the Qubeley and its Beam Sword. Its speed was a great match against the funnels, but Haman was a skilled pilot and the match was quite a tight one.

Down on the ground, however, a massive brawl was under way. Many Gods participated in defense, but in particular, several members of the Token Evil Teammates group were deployed to the battlefield, at the request of Sophitia Alexandra, who wanted to give them more points for redemption. In particular, she was back to back with her friend Litchi.

Sophitia: You know, Litchi…I’m really I don’t have to beat down good people anymore.
Litchi: Me too. Though the number of the wounded people has been increasing. I’ll have to heal them.
Sophitia: When I have time, I’ll try helping… Eh? Watch out!!

A robot attempted to strike Litchi from behind, but suddenly, a long tongue stuck to the robot’s head and ripped it off… right into Reptile’s mouth.

Reptile: Are you all right… Missstresssss?
Litchi: Reptile! Thanks for thatsave… but please don’t call me Mistress.
Sophitia: You tamed him?
Litchi: No big deal, really. I just showed him the care that he deserved. Get him past that sadistic attitude, and he’s pretty noble. He only wants to restore his race…
Sophitia: He kinds reminds me of the Lizardmen I found back then. But as long as he’s committed to the good guys now, I’ll be fine.
Litchi: By the way, I didn’t know you ate machines.
Reptile: When I have to, I do eat machine… HISSSSS!!!

Unfortunately, such chat was cut down when a black flame was suddenly launched, not towards Litchi, but Sophitia. But before it could hit its intended target, Reptile covered her.

Reptile: S Ssss…!!
Sophitia: Reptile! You…
Reptile: Sssshut up… it’s just what we SSSS Sauriansss do…
Litchi: But look at these wounds! Don’t worry, I’ll give you treatment! I’m sure Faust knows what to do…
Sophitia: Who did this to you?!
????: I did. So, the traitors are here.

Lichi and Sophitia turned to their sides, eyes dead set on the perpetrator…who was none other the God of Revenge Beyond Any Reasoning,Sasuke Uchiha.

Litchi: Sasuke…
Sasuke: The traitorous whore and revolting lizard…. Your mere existence is an insult to the Uchiha. I’ll be glad to end you both.
Sophitia: How can you be so naïve?! Cosmos didn’t…!
Sasuke: Shut up!! I WILL have my revenge!
????: No, you won’t.

Just as Sasuke was about to strike again, a bunch of ice spikes appeared in front of him, blocking his path. Sasuke didn’t even need to look, he already knew who made them-his antithesis, Mikagami Tokiya.

Mikagami: Lichi, Sophitia, fall back. I’ll take it from here.
Litchi: But what about…
Mikagami: I’m fine. If you stay, you’ll get hurt. Remember, we don’t disregard our members’ lives.
Sophitia: He’s right. But Mikagami, be careful. You know how low your health is…
Mikagami: Knock it off.

The ladies moved back to bring Reptile away, while the avenger confronted the one who abandoned revenge.

Mikagami: This is why you’re an idiot, Sasuke.
Sasuke: You’re the idiot. Vengeance made you strong, but look at what happened when you let go of it.
Mikagami: My past is none of your concern. But what about you? I get it; you lost your clan, but does that gives you the right to lash out like a little kid?
Sasuke: The GUAG slaughtered the Uchiha! Only with their fall can my clan rest peacefully!
Mikagami: Don’t do this, Sasuke. There is only death for those who seek revenge.
Sasuke: And death to those who wronged me, like you!
Mikagami: Your selfish attitude…. It reminds me of myself back in the past. Thing is, I was able to move on, whereas you refused. Very well… I’ll put you out of your misery. Just know one thing… if the Uchiha was about to see you like this, don’t expect them to shower you with praise. They’ll be hanging their head in shame, and you’ll probably be disowned.
Sasuke: SILENCE, MIKAGAMI!! One more insult to the Uchiha, and…
Mikagami: What? You want me to insult the Uchiha further? Very well… Your family isn’t worth avenging. They’re… horrible.

Losing any restraint he had before, Sasuke leaped towards Mikagami, and the battle began. At first, thanks to Sharingan, Sasuke was able to knock away Mikagami and toss him around with ease. However, Mikagami never lost his cool.

Sasuke: Where’s your laughter now, weakling!?
Mikagami: Heh… you always fought alone. Did that make you feel strong?
Sasuke: I came here on my own. Did you really think stupid things like friendship could make me bat an eye?!? NO! It was through pure, raw hatred I made it this far! I have no need for friends! Now die, knowing that you forewent your chance at true power!

Sasuke once again charged towards his opponent, trying to hit him with a Chidori. However, a spear chain was suddenly thrown toward Sasuke, stabbing him as a distinguished cry was heard…


Sasuke was instantly dragged to the perpetrator…who was none other than Scorpion, who quickly greeted him with an uppercut to the jaw.

Sasuke: Yet another of those who support the massacre of the Uchiha!
Scorpion: Your vengeance is meaningless.
Sasuke: Shut up! Don’t you dare belittle my quest to bring peace to my clan!
Scorpion: I won’t belittle it… No, your quest for vengeance is even sillier than I could have imagined!
Sasuke: Regardless, it’s all the same. You laughed at my family’s suffering, now die for it!!
Mikagami: Now you’re pointing fingers on those you hate even if they’re innocent. What an Idiot.
Scorpion: This foolishness ends here. I will not let you past.
Mikagami: Let’s do it then…
Scorpion: Just don’t get in my way.

Thus, Sasuke found himself not only fighting Mikagami, but also Scorpion… But even then, he moved faster and faster. Unfortunately for Sasuke, Mikagami’s perception had been increased since entering the Pantheon, and one look was all he needed to counter Sasuke’s moves. Combined with Scorpion’s tenacity and toughness, the two made a deadly duo that even Sasuke was having trouble with. However, Sasuke had one last thing to resort to.

Sasuke: Do you know one of the basics of a ninja? This.

He then executed one of the basics of the ninjutsu… a Kage Bunshin Technique spawning thousands of clones.

Scorpion: Child’s play. Do you really think you can get past us with that?
Sasuke: When an Uchiha performs this technique, the result is superior to what any other trashy clans like Hokage or Shirai Ryu could ever pull off.
Mikagami: *sigh* Good thing the Uchiha aren’t around. With a successor like that, they’d be even more trash than those two combined.

While Sasuke covered himself with the fires of Amaterasu, Scorpion did the same with his Hellfire as they both tackled each other in a [[Pun burning]] battle. However, Scorpion found time to take down as many Shadow clones trying to get past him, while Mikagami was trying to prevent more to pass them by using Hyoumon Ken’s Absolute Zero technique. However, even so… some passed by it.

Sasuke: Heh… I win.
Scorpion: Not if you’re dead!

Focusing all his strength, Scorpion readied an attack to kill Sasuke, hoping that this would dispel the passing Shadow Clones. However… it didn’t take long until those clones were suddenly tossed away, and a nearby door opened, and out came…

Mikagami: Signum…!? But you…
Scorpion: ….
Sasuke: Impossible! You…!

Taken by surprise, Sasuke found himself getting beaten up by Signum, and not even Scorpion was letting up. He attempted to use the Katon ninjutsu, but the combination of Hiryu Issen and Scorpion’s Hellfire Fatality drove him away. (Against all odds, Sasuke managed to not die from a “FATALITY”, but he knew he was outmatched.)

Sasuke: How… how can I…!
Mikagami: Admit your defeat… sore loser.
Sasuke: You’ll pay for this insult!

Sasuke was then forced to retreat. Signum, however, wasted no words and suddenly dashed outside.

Mikagami: Don’t be reckless, Signum! You’re…
Scorpion: *puts his hand on Mikagami’s shoulder* That is not Signum.

In the meantime, the duel between Lamia and Haman had still been going on. Haman was just preparing for another strike.

Haman: I won’t waste any more time. These funnels will finish you off.
Lamia: … Do your worst.

However, in a flash, most of the funnels were destroyed. As it turned out, in a quick flash, Signum had slashed them all before finally landing onto Angelg’s shoulder. His presence frighted the Mooks outside so much that they were retreated, thinking that it was a lost cause.

Haman: You…! I thought you were…
Lamia: Signum…!? But I thought… no, you’re not Signum… who are you!?

To the shock of both ladies, Signum suddenly transformed… into Kamen Rider Decade. The shock that Decade had assumed Signum’s guise all along caught Lamia and co. off guard to a ridiculous extent. Even Haman was taken aback by this revelation, and Decade used this chance to leap from Angelg’s shoulder… and deliver his Rider Kick towards the Qubeley. It was powerful enough to at least knock it away and stun it a little.

Lamia: I don’t know how Signum approved you, but… I’m grateful.
Decade: Regardless, we need one more push to drive her away and end this invasion. Ready?
Lamia: Ready when you are.

Suddenly, Decade pulled a new card he just received and activated it. “Attack Ride… Laevatain: Sturm Falke”. As the card activated, Decade then gained the Sturm Falke bow. He leapt upwards as both he and the Angelg prepared their bow attack…

Lamia: Go. Phantom Phoenix!
Decade: Laevatain… Sturm Falke!

Both arrows were fired at the Qubeley, which was just recovering from the stun of the Rider Kick and didn’t have time to properly dodge, hitting it hit quite hard.

Haman: Tch… I’ve lost. But next time, it won’t end like this. All units retreat!

With that, Haman made her retreat with the rest of the GUAE. The House of Graceful Battle was once again safe. The heroes participating in the battle reunited.

Mikagami: Well, I guess the damage isn’t so bad. We defended this place pretty well.
Lamia: You owe me an explanation… Tsukasa Kadoya. How did you…
Tsukasa: I visited Signum’s room back then. She kinda knew this event would come and thought I could use some shock factor to help. So she gave part of her power to me, resulting this in Signum card.
Scorpion: So she thought ahead of this move. Smart woman.
Lamia: As I would expect from her. Signum…
Mikagami: The GUAE may attack again, though. Once we clean up here, we should get going.
Tsukasa: I’ll visit the sick bay soon. Sophitia, Litchi and Reptile deserved to know that we’ve won… for now.

Life resumed once again for the GUAG… but until when?

It was some time afterwards that Sayaka Miki found herself walking within a grassy field. Looking around and then looking at herself, she wondered how she found herself in this wondrous place. As lost as she was, she took her time investigating and gaining her bearings while she moved to a darkened forest, watching the battles ensue… a place much different thanthe City of Mitakihara that she was used to. Still, the battle between good and evil brought the young girl some excitement to her eyes. ‘Maybe this place could be my chance at redemption,’ she thought as he continued to observe, her thoughts on her best friend Madoka.

But then suddenly she felt a chill, like something around her was familiar. Turning fanatically through the trees, she spotted him… she could make out his red eyes anywhere. Kyubey, the tormentor of magical girls everywhere. She could not believe it. Here he was, the bastard that made her former life hell… before her, unguarded.

It was time to pay him back. Holding out her hand, she called forth her soul gem and changed into a Puella Magi… If anything, she was going to see him dead for what he did to her and the others. But just as she moved…

???: Uwee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

Sayaka looked back to see a “clown” of sorts invading her personal space. Her magic at the ready and her cutlass in hand, she swung the latter at him, taking a battle-ready pose. The “clown” was no fool, jumping back before he tilted his head and looked at the girl, curious at the newcomer.

???: Well, hello….
Sayaka: You’re… Who are you?
Kefka Palazzo: Kefka…

Waving her cloak, Sayaka summoned swords to her side, brandishing her cutlass at Kefka’s face. He smiled, holding out his hand.

Sayaka: What. Do. You. Want?
Kefka: (leaning over Sayaka) Look, I noticed that you were going to attack that little weasel over there.
Sayaka: What about it?
Kefka: So… I was wondering, would you like my help in killing it? It’s been annoying myself and others in the House of Emotion…
To be continued??

Result: The House of Graceful Battle was defended. Tsukasa/Decade learns to use the Signum card.

    A Magical Girl’s Corruption!

Previously, Sayaka Miki encountered Kyubey to finally get revenge, but Kefka Palazzo intervened and wanted to help her take out Kyubey, whom he planned to kill for being a bother in the House of Emotion.

Sayaka: This doesn’t involve you, Kefka. He’s mine.
Kefka: What a shame…guess I’ll have to take you out too.

Sayaka didn’t even get a chance to blink before she was hit with the biggest spell that he had. Kafka laughed to himself, looking at the crater in which Sayaka lay at the center, fell by the blast of light, dazed at the impact of heat.

Kefka: (looking over the crater) Feh, no fun at all. I just wanted to help this silly little girl, and what does she go and do?…. Meh, you’re worthless to me, magical girl.

Sayaka managed to climb out of the crater and then brace herself upright with her sword. Kefka growled with disbelief as he looked at the girl, wondering how on earth she survived the Light of Judgement- a spell that managed to kill thousands and instilled fear in of the Pantheon Gods.

Kefka: You’re turning into quite the pest, girl. Are you deaf? I’m offering assistance to kill him.
Sayaka: (her voice horse and rasp as she recovers) No. Can’t really trust you after all that.
Kefka: How stupid do you have to be? That little weasel sees little worth in emotion. It more or less walked into your House and thought of you as worthless. And said so. Even I can’t over look that. And you’re simply refusing my help over a rather simple stab to the back?
Sayaka: I have my pride…

The Mad Mage shrugged at that, figuring her endurance would have to end at some point. He raised his hand to summon another spell, but suddenly he glanced behind him to the sound of a gun shot that grazed his ear. He growled, turning his head to the yellow-clad gun-wielder. Looking back to his target of rage at the moment, his nerves grew even more agitated as he watched Sayaka limp away. He noticed something against the girl’s silhouette. There was another shot near his foot as he turned around, pondering his next move before he looked to the flintlock welding gun-woman.

Kefka: So, you know her?
????: It doesn’t matter, does it? You were going to hurt someone.
Kefka: So tell me, what was that monstrous thing behind the girl?

Mami Tomoe only smiled at the question, tossing away the rifle. She looked to the mad mage and tilled her beret before she whipped off her tie and then formed it to a large gun, the size of a small car. Kefka’s eyes widened at the gun before he composed himself, and then looked as her with a huff.

Kefka: So it seems that you Magical Girls aren’t all that boring, eh?

Mami kept it hidden, but she knew about that monster he was talking about. She could see it right over him. It was hard to hide a monstrosity like that. She whispered to herself, hoping she was wrong as she held the mad mage to a stand off.

Kefka: Well, I’d best be going now, Ta-taaa!

And with that, Kefka fled.

Mami: That was… Sayaka? No. It can’t be…

Mami shook her head of the fragmented memory- that last fight. They didn’t win against the witch, she just faded away in a blaze of fire. Hoping she would never have to face the witch again, she pulled the gun’s form back to her tie and then wrapped it around her neck before she walked away from the scene. But before that shadow appeared, that figure she saw looked like Sayaka-was it really her? She shrugged, looking into the distance, with a long walk a head of her.

Meanwhile, Kefka hadn’t gone that far. He looked about, smiling as he found Sayaka again. Wiping his eyes of the sun’s glare as he chuckled in confirmation, Kefka kept himself out of sight as he grinded to a halt. Whatever that thing was behind her, it was dark. He never felt such sorrow before-such painful, delicious sorrow. A smile curled to his lips, it was like honey to a bear. He had to taste more, he had to have it… something within her was corrupt, and it was his for the taking.

Meanwhile, back in the base of GUAG, Batman smirked as he watched over a rather large group of girls before the doors of Cosmos. Behind him was the Herald of Madoka… Homura Akemi, brewing over the situation she had been informed of. She was looking around, lost in her thoughts. Madoka wanted her to live? And Sayaka was here? Really, it confused her. Still, it was Madoka and Sayaka up against Kefka. Maybe, for once, their new existence here would not bring sadness after all.

Homura: Well… this is surprising. She was here.
Batman: (tapping the girl on the shoulder) You look like you’re concerned.
Homura: Another fellow Magi in my travels, detective.
Batman: Interesting, so there’s been more of your kind here?
Homura: So it seems, but it’s not quite the welcoming addition.
Batman: How so?
Homura: She became one of us by wishing for her love. She became the enemy when that love was never returned. She has a history with me. I tried to kill her once before she became that…

Homura stopped.

Homura: I…I’m sorry. Few things hurt Madoka like when she became a witch. I would rather avoid that if I can, given things.

Batman ruffled his cowl as he looked down towards Homura. She had been briefed on a few things in the Pantheon, but not everything. Her concern about this worried him, as he put a hand to his chin. He could tell that there was no easy solution to this, and while she was welcomed into the GUAG… there was a silence around her title that he could not explain.

Batman: Should that really be the concern of a Herald?
Homura: It should.
Batman: Then I’ll look into it. Who? is this Madoka anyway. If my understanding is correct, Penitent Gretchen is leading the Magical Girls at this point?
Homura: It is her… unless Sakura is having doubts again.

Batman shrugged, a small detail for the moment and for now a simple error. The detective turned his attention back to the throng of girls that were gathered. Walking between the little girl and the detective was Archer, Servant of Rin Tosaka and God of Gar. Batman looked at the warrior with a tilt of his brow, and noticed something on his face that put the detective on edge- a smile. Archer was… happy?

Archer: Is that so, Homura Akemi? That is rather odd. But then again, all the ascended Magi came into Goddess-hood rather silently.
Batman: Hmmm, what brings the Counter Guardian here? Other than eavesdropping, of course.
Archer: My usual duties.
Batman: Really? After that little mission? I would assume that even Rin would let you relax.
Archer: No, duties as a servant come first. So here I am, babysitting. Anyways, Rin’s sort of.. busy at the moment…

Archer smiled as he points into the crowd. Batman blinked before letting out a chuckle. Rin was dancing around in a frilly little red dress, waving around a cute little stick. Archer was right. If anyone else saw this, she would be mortified.

Batman: Haha… Well, that was unexpected.
Homura: Um…why is she-
Archer: Don’t ask….

Archer and Homura walked on ahead, joining the group, leaving Batman to himself. The Dark Knight then tapped his helmet radio.

Batman: I assume this is Zero? I have a mission for you concerning a possible rogue in the Pantheon. I would like you to find me at the concordant following this transmission.
Zero: What? This is a private channel, how did you get through?!
Batman: I work with the GUAG, I have means through them. In any event, I repeat- this concerns a possible rogue in the Pantheon. I would like to request reconnaissance data from you about the target.
Zero: Fine, but why are you so concerned about this? It’s probably just another Maverick; I’ll destroy it like the rest.
Batman: I’ll brief you on those matters in due time, just come to the concordant I’ve given and you’ll have some disclosure on the matter.
Zero: Over and out.

Batman moved himself behind a pillar and then watched the throng of people. And then a sudden hush moved over the crowd, as a little girl in a long white dress walked on through. For a moment, the detective mistook her for someone else, only to shake his head at the thought as Homura ran over the greet her with a friendly smile. Just from that, Batman could tell. Homura’s smile was rarely that warm unless she was taking about the goddess.

Batman: So that’s Madoka…

Teleporting to the location, Zero looked around his surroundings. He was a lost for words. Batman’s briefing seemed to mention something odd about the target, but this was beyond the Detective’s predictions. Zero stared in shock at a village….in ruins. The walls were crumbling. Entire houses were cleaved in two. Just then, Zero heard a noise. Something was here, and it was both big and angry. Dashing to the sound of the loud groan, the hunter stopped as he noticed someone trying to hide from him. But just as he stopped, the sound of a slash through the air made him jump to the roof-tops.

Zero growled, in spite of himself, as he looked on to the monster that lay before him. Quickly, he radioed the detective.

Zero: I’m here at what seems to be ground zero to a… Can’t really tell. What ever happened here, it was bad, that’s for sure. I’m looking at this monster of a… mermaid? Hold on.

Something caught his scanners as he shut down the broadcast. His observer was making a break for it. Seizing the moment, he dropped down on the person, pinning them down. It was… Kefka Palazzo? Zero’s day was only getting weirder & weirder.

While being pinned under the Crimson Hunter wasn’t the best thing to happen to Kefka, the fact remained that he found something very useful-the identity of the monster. Of course, the Reploid knew this, and pried out of him.

Zero: Who is that monster, Kefka?!
Kefka: You really want to know?
Zero: TELL ME!!
Kefka: Fufufu…..none other than Sayaka Miki.
Zero: *Gasp*

The look of astonishment on Zero’s face brought a smile to Kefka’s as he explained the situation. As it turned out Sayaka Miki wasn’t as human as she let on, the magical girl was more of a beast with destructive rage. This was something that Kefka could never overlook, the sociopath within him would demand that he continue to look into this. She wasn’t just corrupt, she was an entirely different being as she tore up the village in a blind rampage. And all it took was some torment on his sides before she covered herself in a black ooze and became this monstrosity. Of course, he didn’t explain that last part.

Zero: You’re responsible for this, aren’t you?
Kefka: Accusing me with no evidence? How rude.

Zero didn’t trust him a single bit. He knew that Kefka was a sociopath that enjoyed bringing suffering unto others. There was little time to bother with that, though, as another large sword head straight for them. The two jumped out of the way of the blade as it sunk into the ground. Both of them looked back to the beast, only to find that it was gone. While Zero was distracted, Kefka escaped. Zero sighed. This mission was going to take longer than he thought.

And while there was much rejoicing in the base of GUAG, the GUAE base weren’t as joyful. Naturally, Kefka, who returned a failure, was ridiculed to no end.

Joker: Maaaan, that was pathetic, Kefka! Terumi still puts up more shows than you!
Kefka: Hmph…!
Aizen: Well now… I would assume that pestering that little girl had some merit?
Kefka: No, it wasn’t a complete failure. I think I understand why that girl went on a rampage like that.
Dr. Weil: Contiune.
Kefka: I think for a lot of us, corruption is a force, something that can’t be contained like energy or magic. But for her, and maybe other “magical girls” like her… It is a substance, something that can be contained, manipulated. And created.
Aizen: Are you saying that you acquired this substance?
Dr. Weil: If it can be applied to other beings, we might have a rather potent substnce to make a weapon out of.
Light: That’ll be taken care of. But first, there are some reports to follow… First of all, there’s this potential member we need to scout on… it’s an old friend of mine, his name is Tsukishima Shukuro.
Weil: Light, my boy, are you sure this was an old friend?
Light: Sure am. He was a great guy and even helped me use the Death Note.
Aizen: Tch…
Joker: What’s wrong here, Aizen?? Jealous that this Tsukishima was…
Aizen: It was nothing. Please excuse me. *leaves*
Light: (Ha ha ha. Yeah, go ahead, believe that this nobody was an old friend. I knew what he could do, so I just pretended I was a victim. Of course, he’s nothing more than just a pawn for my overall schemes… he’s still needed for my cause though) Oh, and another thing… apparently Mildred Avallone has had enough with us. She left us, preferring to be with her sister Angelia.
Kefka: Ooh, that stupid bitch! So all that talk about utopia was just a lie! How about I pay a little visit for her and drag her in…
????: There is no need.

As he spoke, there were two figures that entered… the new God of Evil Light, Mithos Yggdrasil as well as Nightmare.

Mithos: Mildred’s old throne is secure in my hands. I’ll lend you my power, for my utopia to come.
Joker: Even if you end up removing us too, huh? I like that guts, pretty boy! You’re in! Better make us laugh while doing so!
Weil: Nightmare.
Nightmare: What is this about a new substance… that hold’s the essence of corruption?
Kefka: Yeah yeah yeah, so get the the point…
Nightmare: I was merely mentioning a good candidate for a test, one that I can help corrupt. And I found one, in the form of… a certain holy knight maiden…
Weil: Good. Kefka… see to acquiring this substance. Nightmare, acquire the maiden.

Result: Sayaka kept her title. However the GUAE seemed to be brewing a means of acquiring corruption and a test subject… And Kyubey was still around and neutral. Also, Mildred left the GUAE, but Tsukishima and Mithos entered the GUAE.

    GUAG Gaiden – The Interview

The grand hall of GUAG. Where heroes fighting for noble causes were united in one banner to fight against the GUAE and prevent total chaos to reign. And it was there the tengu reporter, Aya Shameimaru, stopped by for her next big scoop.

Aya: Okay, here it is! I hope I can get some good stories from here. With this, the Bunbunmaru Newspaper’ll enjoy a boost in ratings! Ookay… *knock knock*

Knocking the gate to the GUAG, Aya hoped that somebody would answer. And someone did… in the form of Commander Shepard.

Shepard: What are you doing here?
Aya: (Ayayayayaya! This… this is the legendary Commander Shepard! Can’t believe he… she… is my first scoop!) Um… this is Aya Shameimaru of the Bunbunmaru Newspaper. I’m looking for… good stories?
Shepard: What kind of stories?
Aya: Anything, really! Just the daily lives and sections in the GUAG. So… uh, if you permit it…
Shepard: Cosmos would permit it, I’m sure. Come along, you could use a guide.
Aya: T… thanks!
Shepard: But- under certain conditions.
Aya: Um… what conditions?
Shepard: No snide insinuations. And no disingenuous assertions. And no tabloid journalism.
Aya: Uh… yeah. I don’t do that. Why do you need to tell me?
Shepard: If you’ve heard of what happened to ‘Khalisah Al-Jilani’, you should know.
Aya: Oh! Yeah, I remember. She was pretty famous amongst the reporter circle. Negatively infamous, more likely…
Shepard: Well, just remember that, and you’ll be fine. Now… which section would you like to go first?
Aya: Hm… can I see what’s going on in the Medical Division first?

GUAG Court Gaiden: Turnabout Yukkuri

It was a good day at the halls of GUAG. Phoenix Wright felt seemingly stronger, now that the GUAG Combat Division thought of giving him some tasks to find evidence against the enemy, in order to damage them, or at least their ego.

Phoenix: Well, let’s see what’s in the news today…

He was about to pick up a newspaper, fresh from The House of Intrepid Reporters. But just when he was about to reach it, he heard a yell coming in.

Phoenix: Huh? Maya?

The yeller was none other than Phoenix’s close friend, Maya Fey, a fellow Goddess who resided in the House of Life And Death.

Maya: We got no time! Hurry and follow me to the Grand Detention Center!
Phoenix: Whoa, whoa! Hold up, Maya, what is going on!?
Maya: You’ll see when you get there!

Dragged by Maya to the Grand Detention Center, next to the Token Evil Teammates quarter, where those whose judgment awaited were detained, Phoenix eventually came across to his would-be defendant… who was currently curling in theCorner of Woe.

Phoenix: Uh… Maya? Is that… Yuyuko Saigyouji?
Maya: Yeah, she is. She just got arrested today. I’m sure she’s innocent, so please help her. There’s going to be a trial for her.
Phoenix: Er… okay, first I gotta talk to her first. Um, Miss Saigyouji?
Yuyuko: Um… who?
Phoenix: It’s me, Phoenix Wright. They say you’re going to be put on trial…
Yuyuko: But I’m innocent… I was just minding my business eating… Then they…! They accuse me of breeding innocent Yukkuris just to eat their children! I’m not like that! I’m not like that!
Phoenix: Uh, yeah. I’m very sure you wouldn’t do that…
Yuyuko: Nobody believes me… At this rate I’m going to be put next door… and I’ll have to endure psychos like Mayuri, Deadpool, & HK-47…! I’m scared!
Phoenix: Well, it’s not like it’s filled with psychos only. I know some sanity spots there… but still! I’ll do my best so you’ll be acquitted .
Yuyuko: You… you’ll defend me?? *shows Puppy-Dog Eyes*
Phoenix: (Ugh… the eyes that crush any resistance.. ) Of course! No worries! Please wait here patiently! I’ll do my best!(She really didn’t need to do that..)

With that, Phoenix and Maya left Yuyuko, who at last smiled. Once out of the detention center, Phoenix sighed.

Phoenix: Close call… if I ever piss her off, she’d be invoking death on me… So, Maya, who was the one who hauled Yuyuko to jail in the first place?
Maya: Uhm, I think it was… Captain America?

Just as Cap was mentioned, he appeared.

Captain America: Oh, it’s you, Mr. Wright. How are you doing?
Phoenix: Doing great, Captain!
Captain America: That showcase of dedication to eventually bring down Dr. Doom that day was impressive. Keep it up, you greag attorney.
Phoenix: Um, Captain, may I ask one thing? Were you the one who hauled Yuyuko Saigyouji to the Grand Detention Center?
Captain America: I knew you’d say that. Planning to be her defense attorney for the trial? I know you’re the man to do it.
Phoenix: Of course. But… why did you do it? What did she do wrong?
Captain America: Well… I’m saddened to say this, but… We have strong evidence that Yuyuko has been spotted around Gensokyo running some sort of ranch which contained some Yukkuris. The evidence shows that Yuyuko raised those Yukkuris just so that she could eat their babies just as they were born. Such a thing is unforgivable, but we’re not sure if it was truly Yuyuko who did it. So I had no choice.
Phoenix: No way…
Captain America: The evidence will be shown in the trial tomorrow. But until then, good luck. I don’t want to believe that Yuyuko did it, and I know you can prove her innocent. As the appointed judge, I have to act fair, so it’s all up to your strength.
Maya: We’ll do our best, Captain! Right, Nick?
Phoenix: O… of course!
Captain America: Good. With you two, I can expect great success. Good luck.

Thus Cap left, leaving Phoenix to wonder where he should go.

Maya: Say, Nick. You think the GUAE could be responsible?

Phoenix: Maybe, but we have to deduce carefully. We can’t go around accusing all of them. We’ll have to gather evidence that it’s not Yuyuko who did it, first.

To be continued…
    GUAG Gaiden: Rise of Asura
The deities of GUAG were expecting a new arrival into the alliance, and it was rumored that the god was a massively powerful one. So powerful, he could destroy a planet sized being with his bare hands, had defeated another pantheon full of power hungry deities, as well as saved his world of Gaea from destruction. Many of the combat ready deities wanted to test his strength against them.
    GUAG Gaiden: The Kamen Rider Club Is Formed.

Gentaro Kisaragi was new to the Elysium Academy, but he already knew what he was going to do. He rushed into the auditorium and announced this to his fellow students.

Gentaro: My name is Gentaro Kisaragi, and my goal is to make friends with each and everyone of you!

As he enunciated that with a pat to his chest and pointing to the crowd, he soon began to say hello to everyone else and began mingling with anyone he thought to be good. However, by lunch time, no one was Gentaro’s friend. For the first time in his life, Gentaro was unable to make friends. He pondered and pondered the decisions he made, unable to understand why or what happened in his mission to befriend everyone. Many of the already established Club Presidents began to criticize him. Sandi Griffin nagged on his uniform, Apollo Justice was laughing at his pompadour, and Dennis was already getting used to firing eggs at him. It seemed as if whatever Gentaro did, he was unable to make a friend.

And then, Dodgeball happened.

He was enthusiastic about trying to be involved with his PE Class, only to be chosen last. Just as the game was about to begin, it was interrupted by none other than Aki Honda who wanted to get Gentaro to pay for fake bills he never even signed for. At this point, no one was going to save him.

That is, until a giant yellow robot called Power Dizer crashed from the building and held Aki off. While everyone ran, Gentarou stood his ground as Aki lead her bullies to assault the Power Dizer, causing it to collapse and its pilot, scientist Kengo Utahoshi, to roll out in pain. Aki laughed at Kengo’s face.

Aki: Oh, if it isn’t Mr. King of the Infirmary? Would you mind if I take that little package and STOMP ON IT?!

Kengo tried his hardest to keep the special item he had in hand, hoping that it wouldn’t fall into Aki’s hands. Unfortunately, his body was weak and the bullies were not letting him stand up. Seeing him helpless, Gentaro rushed into the crowd and pulled Kengo out of the mess. Kengo was confused at all this—Gentaro was bullied and picked on by everyone else; why would he go back for someone like him?

Gentaro: It’s because I’m going to be friends with everyone. I need to understand who they are so we get along. Then, I’ll be able to see them smile.

Kengo, touched by those words, shook hands with Gentaro and handed Gentaro the special object in his hand: His father’s technological wonder: The Fourze Driver. With a flip of four switches and a countdown from 3, Gentaro screamed “HENSHIN!”In a flash of light, Gentaro was wrapped head to toe in a new suit. With this new revelation, Gentaro responded with a gleeful cry.

Aki: W-what the?!
Gentaro: I’m Gentaro Kisaragi! Let’s fight man-to-man!

With that, Gentaro leaped into action, being instructed by his new friend Kengo Utahoshi on how to use his weapons. With a flip of a switch, Gentaro was flying around with a rocket attached to his hand, and firing missiles from his leg. People who were once scared of the bully looked on in awe.”Who was the man in white armor?” People asked. Kengo replied, “That is Gentaro Kisaragi, the man who will befriend everyone in school.”With that, everyone began to cheer for this hero. People were already spreading rumors, as a girl with a black bow in her hair smirked. Gentaro didn’t notice this as his left leg was replaced with a drill. With a pull of a lever, Gentaro rose into the air.

Aki: D-DAMN YOU!!!!

Aki was flown back to the depths of Mary Suetopia, her body and ego bruised. Gentaro transformed back and was met with applause. Students who ignored his ridiculous plans of friendship praised this hero. Gentaro didn’t know what to say as he was tossed into the air and everyone screamed his names. Then, the girl with the bow tie appeared.

Girl: Kamen Rider…
Gentaro: M-me?

This girl, Tomoko Nozama, began talking about the legend of the Kamen Riders, warriors who held residence in the Toku Base in the Pantheon. She believed that Gentaro could have a chance to be a Kamen Rider. However…

Kengo: Kisaragi, what are your plans?
Gentaro: There are others who are going to come attack this school, huh? And there are people who appreciate the Kamen Riders, right? So, I have decided! I shall create the Kamen Rider Club, where everyone and anyone who wants to join can!

With that idea settled, Kengo decided to help his new friend create the one and only Kamen Rider Club. Soon, they were bringing in other members from the Academy to help with their battle against evil and to research the urban legends revolving around the eponymous Kamen Riders. And soon enough, the Kamen Riders took notice.

GUAE Gaiden: The plan for the destruction of the Magical Girls

After his defeat by Zero, Mami Tomoe, and Sayaka Miki, the latter whom he nearly succeeded in corrupting, a bored Kefka Palazzo is researching on new methods of corruption, making sure he’ll Corrupt them first with his next encounter with them. As he’s studying, a dark figure approached him….. Arthas Menethil.

Kekfa: …What do you want, Emperor Freakshow?
Arthas: I know… what to do…
Kekfa: If this is about converting live people into undead then I won’t hear it….
Arthas: No…. Seek out someone who can impose More Than Mind Control
Kefka: Sounds…. okay. Thanks for the advice. Now, if you excuse me, I have some reading to catch up on.

As Arthas departs, Kefka continues his research. There were a few corruption methods he liked, with the rest of them boring. However, one thing caught his attention in mind.

Kekfa: Wait a minute what’s this… Hmm… hehe… uwehehehehehe! Melkor, you son of a submariner! This is brilliant!
Arthas: What’s with that laugh? If you had gotten a better plan, then say it… or you’ll face Frostmourne right on your neck.
Kefka: Oooh, easy there, Arthie boy! I know just the right thing for payback… take a look!

Kefka showed him several blueprints… plans or sorts. As Arthas skimmed through what he would refer as ‘scrolls’, even his interests was piqued…

Arthas: … Witch… Candeloro? Made out of that… Mami Tomoe?
Kefka: Yees, this mail just got in! That Relius Clover sure is full of surprises! Finally I’ll get something done to get revenge on that…
??????: Eeh, so you think this is your only target, huh?

And cue to the wind blowing, another person arrived in a flash… Yuki Terumi.

Terumi: Heard ya failed back then, huh, clown?! I knew you should leave it to a pro like me. I’m so much more trolltastic than you can ever be!
Kefka: Oh, shut yer piehole, freak! Who was it that lost so many Re-educational Facility members!?
Terumi: Want a piece of me, freakshow!?
Arthas: You two…!

The Lich King wasted no effort to emit a cold battle aura to freeze the two on their tracks… or rather, just stopped their bickering.

Arthas: Why don’t you two just go together and accomplish this together? A contest, or whatever. Suit me just fine.
Kefka & Terumi: I’m not working with this freak over here!
Arthas: I don’t say both of you go towards Mami together… your teamwork… is horrid. I would call in Relius, but he’s busy.
Kefka: Well what do you suggest then?
Arthas: According to this scroll… one of GUAG’s newbies also has such thing… Kyouko Sakura… to be turned into Witch Ophelia.
Terumi: Aaah, it just made me regret that those cute lil’ Incubators weren’t opposing us now. Stability of the world my ass. A chaotic world where people suffers are in despair is where it’s at!
Kefka: Fine, fine, you take care of this Kyouko. I’ll be exacting my vengeance on Mami before you’re done!
Terumi: Ooh, not so fast, bucko! You already failed on Mami. How about you go after Kyouko instead?
Kefka: Oh, really? What makes you think I’ll obey huh?
Terumi: Okay. By the authority of Melkor, this will be decided by… A ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS!
Kefka: Bring it!
Kefka & Terumi: ROCK… PAPER… SCISSORS!

Kefka showed… scissors. Terumi showed… rock. Terumi won, bringing up V For Victory while Kefka facepalmed.

Arthas: I would agree that Mami should be taken care of by Terumi. She’s more likely knew how to handle you, Kefka.
Kefka: A little too late to decide that, don’t you think?
Terumi: Okay, you make sure you do a good job! You too, Arthas! You realize that Archer shit copied your Frostmourne?
Arthas: I’ve made plans…
Kefka: What are the plans?
Arthas: First, we must seek out Tsukishima Shukuro, as his memory manipulation makes the job much easier. I’ll send my undead soldiers for distraction. I’ll get into more details later.
Terumi: Arthas, that’s excellent!
Kefka: Oh, that guy… This Lich king guy is smarter than I thought.
Arthas: Wait! Also according this scroll, the Witch Homulily is made out of Homura Akemi, who’s the Herald of that Madoka Kaname.
Kefka: Did we hear that? Homura? into Homulily? Uwehehehehehe
Terumi: Finally! Finally!!! We’re getting somewhere!
Kefka: But who’s going to take on Homura?
Arthas: Leave that to me.
Terumi: Alright! Let’s find Tsukihima!

As they went to find Tsukishima, the two freakshows laughed, much to Arthas’ dismay…

Arthas: don’t make me freeze you two for good.

And with that, the three went off to find Tsukishima, plotting their next move.

 GUAG Gaiden: The Party of the Apocalypse (Part 1): Let’s Get This Party Started 

The Elysium Academy’s brand new Kamen Rider Club had new members coming in at a fast rate. It was hard to keep track of all the people who were coming in, not just because they wanted to be in, but also because they understood Gentaro’s ideas of friendship. Many of them would soon be dressed up like astronauts and meeting up with Gentaro on the moon, having heart-to-heart chats in their own special way. They would then say goodbye and promise to come back to the club every now and then when they weren’t busy with homework or their duties.

But as this was going on, someone realized that this wasn’t the best way to go about inviting people to a club. There was something that had to be done, and that something was…

Pinkie Pie: Hey! I know what to do!

Um, Pinkie Pie…

Pinkie Pie: I have the most splendiforous idea ever! I’m going to invite everyone I can to this big neato party for the Kamen Rider Club and we’ll all be instant best friends! I just need to prepare the punch, and the streamers, and the balloons and the cake and the cupcakes and the mini cupcakes and mini mini mini..


Pinkie Pie: Oops. Go on, Mr. Narrator.

That’s Miss Narrator to you.

Pinkie Pie: Tee hee, my mistake.

Yes, here we have Pinkie Pie, who decided to teleport from one of the lockers into the academy once she learned about the story of the Kamen Rider Club making friends. As she walked by, a poster hit her face. Or as she stated…


But then she saw the poster. It was a big party called “JK Night”, being hosted by one of the Gods of Teenage Knowledge Brokers. Pinkie recalled that there was another God of the Teenage Knowledge Brokers and so..

Pinkie Pie: So I was wondering if you can please please please please PLEASE let me fuse this party into one of the biggest things the Pantheon’s ever seen! I just need your approval!!! PLEASE!!!!
Philip: (Tied to a chair as Pinkie force feeds him vinegar) Um….

Pinkie! That’s not how it went!

Pinkie Pie: Really? Well I thought that’s what happened.

No, instead you…

Pinkie Pie: Please please PLEASE give me the money so I can host the biggest party the Pantheon has ever seen! I’ll pay you in cupcakes and punch! Oh! Maybe I can even teach you card tricks and then…
Seto Kaiba: HOW ARE YOU EVEN HERE?! (closing the door that Pinkie popped out of)

No. You…

Pinkie Pie: (jumping up and down) I just need to make sure I can get this party started and let everyone in on it! So tell me Miss Narrator, how was I able to get this party started?

It’s very simple, Miss Pinkameana Diane Pie. You decided to ask the person arranging the JK Night party to fuse it together. And by ‘ask’, you actually did this.

Pinkie Pie: I really really really really really really really REALLY want to have this party! Come on Mr. JK, please?!?!?!
JK: Um…okay?
Pinkie Pie: (Transforms into a rocket and explodes into the sky) WHOO HOOO!!!!

And so, getting the permission to fuse JK Night with her own parties, Pinkie Pie would soon set off in one of the most devastating hilarious things that has happened to the Pantheon in a very long time.

To Be Continued in The Party of Armageddon Part 2: Rolling out the Red Velvet Cake Carpet.

The Worst Day In Recent Memory 

Looking at the broken boy before me, I felt a surge of pity, and was reminded of the day’s events.

It all started when I made my visit to the Emotion house on behalf of The Status Quo, when I observed that one [[Manga/Naruto Sasuke Uchiha]] had approached the resident God of Psychosis, Shinji Ikari, when the latter deity was in a particularly unstable mood, as was usual on the anniversary of Third Impact.

Seeing the God of Mad Revenge approach someone I can sort of identify with, my first thought was naturally along the lines of, “oh, crap.”In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m Kyon, by the way….. Damnit, now everyone’s even Got Me Doing It.

Anyway, what Sasuke said actually kind of surprised me.

Sasuke: “Hey, you’re Shinji Ikari, right? That kid who destroyed his whole world to get payback because of the entire universe making you its bitch, right? You know, you’re actually kind of a role model to me. When the universe put you through hell, you succeeded in getting your revenge and took it up a notch. I respect and can even sort of admire that.”

…. Did Sasuke just try to Pet the Dog? Well, I suppose it’s a nice gesture and all that, but given how much of a sore subjecthe just touched upon, This Is Gonna Suck.

Aaaand sure enough, Shinji’s eyes bug out, veins pop out across his head, his fists clench, and he looks really pissed off in general. Sometimes, I hate being Genre Savvy.

Shinji:Wha…. You Bastard…. Do you honestly think I WANTED it to happen like that?! You think I wanted all that blood on my hands?! YOU THINK I WANTED TO KILL EVERYONE WHO COULD’VE EVER GIVEN THE SLIGHTEST DAMN ABOUT ME?! WHAT THE HELL!? …Just what kind of Omnicidal Maniac do you take me for? ….. So be it, then. MOTHER!!!” *snaps fingers, Eva-01 bursts up from the street* DIE! ALL OF YOU ASSHOLES, JUST DIE!!!!”

…. As terrified as I am right now, I have to admit that that was a pretty impressive Freak Out, even by Shinji’s standards. Although given that he just snapped, I should probably get the hell out of here.

???: “Come on kid, let’s run for it while we’ve still got the chance!”

As I look to my left, I decide that though him meeting Haruhi would be a really bad thing, I’ve never been happier to see the Doctor in my life. And as I run over to the TARDIS, I note the rushing of various deities behind me, probably either trying to follow me out of here or off to try and calm down Shinji.

Chief among those running towards Shinji, that I could recognize of course, were Jin Kisaragi the Asshole, Domon Kasshu the Hot Blooded, and the perpetually near-pissed-off Shizuo Heiwajima.

Something told me I should look to the other side, though, and when I did, I saw a few other deities heading towards the upcoming battle.

Oh Crap! War and Combat! deities! I think to myself.

I mean, I know that Noriko, Kazumi and Master Asia are probably going to try and keep the collateral damage to a minimum, but with Kamina, Coop, and Kenpachi Zaraki on the scene, I don’t know how well they’ll be able to do that.

Oh, hey, there’s Shirou Emiya with them.

Despite dreading the destruction that was sure to follow, I nevertheless feel awestruck upon watching the mecha pilots among the group summon their, well, mecha, while the others also gear up for battle.

Domon: <snaps fingers> “RISE GUNDAAAAM!”
Shizuo: <rips out a nearby streetlight for use as a javelin> “It figures that the kid blows up when I’ve got watch duty! RRRRAAAAAGH!!!”
Noriko: “Oneesama, let’s combine and remind our friend of the power of hard work and guts!”
Kazumi: “Noriko!”
Noriko and Kazumi: <cue Transformation Sequence of Buster Machines I-II> “GUUUN-BUUUUST-EEER!!
Shirou:Trace, on!”
Coop: “You don’t know how good you’ve got it, Shinji! After all, CHICKS DIG GIANT ROBOTS!”
Kamina: <powers up Gurren> “The reputation of the GUAG’s Super Robot Squadron echoes far and wide! When people talk about the charismaticMemetic Badass who leads them into battle, they’re talkin’ about THE MIGHTY KAMINA!! SHINJI!! IT’S HIGH TIME YOU GET OVER YOUR DAMN EMO-FEST, EVEN IF WE HAVE TO PUMMEL SOME SENSE INTO YA!”

There was a split-second pause, just long enough for one to notice, before the inevitable reply to that.

Kazumi: “…. Look, just because we need to keep the damage from getting too crazy don’t give us a free pass to just beat the crap out of him. I mean, it’s not like it’s entirely his fault.”
Kamina: “The kid seriously needs to man the hell up! Whenever Simon’s in a funk, a good punch snaps him out of it. The way I figure it, given howsimilar they are, it oughta work for Shinji too. JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I A-“

And with that, Unit-01 promptly bashed Gurren in the face while Kamina was hamming, before then driving its knee into the Gunmen’s crotch. While that probably wasn’t as effective as it would’ve been against a fellow Eva Pilot, it did probably get everyone’s attention.

Shinji: “Your idea of helping someone is to beat the snot out of them! What the hell’s wrong with you?!”

And with that, the melee began.

Megas started running towards the Evangelion, before Coop evidently pressed a button, since a whole crapload of rocket tubes opened up out of the mecha’s armor, before then firing each and every one of them.

When the smoke had cleared…. not one of them had had any effect at all. Which actually makes a lot of sense, given how most conventional weapons – even those powered by a Super Robot – can’t breach an AT Field.

Here, Kenpachi leapt at the Eva while swinging his sword, the massive amounts of spiritual pressure disrupting the AT Field and getting through, allowing him to slice at the purple behemoth.

Remarkably, though, it seems that Shinji’s learned a few things, and promptly gets the hell out of the way… only to be punched by Gurren.

Kamina: “Just who the hell do you think you are, punching a guy when he’s talking?!”
Kamina:don’t everybody?!

While the others were talking, Jin stabbed Yukianesa into the ground, forming an ice field as Eva Unit-01’s legs began to freeze over.

Nevertheless, the Eva picked up Gurren – which was notably much smaller than Unit-01 was – and threw it at Jin, breaking his concentration and forcing him to flee.

Then, breaking out of the half-formed ice prison, Shinji got ready to turn to his next target, only for his mecha to get blasted back courtesy of a superpowered punch from Shizuo.

Apparently, sparring with Ridley and Kenpachi, along with his deification, has brought him to near-Kryptonian levels of strength.

Shinji and the Eva-01 manage to get on their feat just before the crash into the ground and skid along the pavement. Shinji, now even more angry, fired a massively powerful laser from the eyes of his mecha and the mecha fighting him barely dodge just in time.

Shinji: “Why don’t everyone just leave me alone already. It was Sasuke who started this in the first place! Beat him up instead!”
???: “Why don’t you just shut up already?”

Shinji looked towards the place the voice came from and there was a human sized figure with metallic golden gauntlets, white hair, and glowing white eyes to go along with bronze covered skin. It was Asura, who noticed the destruction going on during his walk to the main house. He didn’t look happy. Shinji glared down at the person interrupting his battle, growing more angry. A massive purple hue on Eva-01 fired up, causing the environment all the fighters were in to glow a menacing purple, as Eva-01’s right arm’s armor burst off, revealing a glowing orange arm similar to an AT field. Eva-01 let out a massive roar to challenge the newcomer.

Asura was not that impressed, merely looking more grumpy. Wrapping his arms around each other, his own red aura started building up as his metal gauntlets go up both his arms and releasing his aura as they unwrap, changing into hisVajra Form.

Asura: “Seriously, kid, grow a backbone. You’re not the only guy around here with issues. Just ask Shizuo.”
Shizuo: “Hey, not funny!”
Kazumi: “Oh, Asura, can you give us a hand helping Shinji here calm down?”
Kamina: “Or even beat the crap out of him to stop him, if you have to?”
Kenpachi: “And when you have the time, spar with me, next.”

Shinji, even more angry at being talked down to, fired another round of Eyebeams at Asura, who dodged with near ease. Then he said something that turns an already bad day and headache for the deities into something even worse, saying something that he himself would regret forever.

Shinji: “And what would you know about issues? I bet your family life is easy compared to my own!”
Asura: “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!? How dare you say I don’t have family issues!”

“Uh, oh”, thought all the other deities, who had a nervous and slightly fearful look on their faces, even Kamina and Kenpachi. Even they would never say that to Asura.

Asura, now even angrier than ever, grew 4 extra solid gold arms. He charged at Eva-01, his right arms extended outwards into a punch. Eva-01 did the same, extending her glowing orange arm into a punch aiming at Asura.

Asura: “IKARI!!!!!
Shinji: “ASURA!!!!!

The punches collided in a HUGE Explosion.

To be continued.

The Emergence of the Gohma; the Arrival of the Golden Spider

Chaos erupted in the Pantheon one day when Gohma began to spring forth from the ground after Hexxus and his allies went too far in their polluting schemes. The Pantheon knew which world they came from, but they had believed them destroyed. Asura and Yasha knew who was responsible, and knew that he was the one who kidnapped Mithra. Death the Horseman informed them that the curious little spider they were looking for was in the House of Life and Death, nested in a golden spider web woven in a tree by The White Light Entity.

But the battle was yet to be fought, because Asura and Yasha took it upon themselves to lead a group of warriors to destroy Gohma Vlitra once and for all. If Vlitra was allowed to run rampant, there’d be no Pantheon for Mithra to return to once she was rescued. On the other hand, there was commotion about what the Golden Spider had recently done during a confrontation with Melkor, the leader of the GUAE: he talked down to him, after the latter tried to tame Gohma Vlitra and use it for himself. Melkor swore to destroy The Golden Spider for humiliating him.

One night, several of the higher ranking deities met in a small conference lead by Cosmos and Haruhi. The deities discovered that in the future, the superweapon known as the Brahmastra would fall down to Earth, Asura would clash with his Friendly Rival Yasha, and a final battle between Asura and the Golden Spider, said to be bigger than the GUAG and GUAE’s battle, would ensue.