Tales of Life

Episode 1: Teaching Paid Off! Kotomi’s Recital!

The Celestial Idol stage lit up as the final performer came up to the stage. Many dreaded who it was that awaited them. As Kotomi Ichinose stepped onto the stage, she was about to be pulled out by a shepherd’s crook when an audience member stood up.

Brook: Let her play!

The other gods looked over to see the God of Violin standing up, proclaiming that Kotomi should play for them. The judges sighed and started pulling out the earplugs before letting the Lesser Goddess knwo that she can play. Kotomi smiled and pulled out her violin. The judges braced themselves to hear…. beautiful music?Yes! The sound coming from her violin was not that of Wolverine’s claws on chalk but of a beautiful melody. They were both surprised and impressed. The song played for a good 4 minutes and when it ended, the entire stadium applauded. Kotomi looked up to see that her mentor was gone. She sighed, she had hoped he would be there to applaud her on her success…When she headed backstage, she heard an odd sound, following it. She found it to be sound of skeletal hands clapping together. It was Brook clapping his hands.

Brook: Bravo, Kotomi! Bravo!
Kotomi: Thank you, Brook. I’m glad I could so so well.
Brook: Such a shame though, that now you can’t stay in the Pantheon.
Brook: Well, since you were the Goddess of Dreadful Music, and you no longer play dreadfully, you no longer hold the position. But, don’t feel so glum, Kotomi. You were my student, so you will always hold a special place in my heart… but, as a skeleton, I have no heart! Yohohoho!SKUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLL JOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEE!!!

Kotomi laughed along with her mentor, smiling even in a sad moment such as this. She hugged Brook goodbye and waited back at the House of Music for her change from Lesser Goddess to mortal human back on her Earth. To pass the time, she paid a soothing melody, to mask the pain she felt in her heart at leaving the Pantheon.

Episode 2: How to slay a Meme.

 

It all started one day when the House of Combat was given a new computer along with proper Internet connection, since it was felt that the inhabitants of this particular house needed to get a bit more in touch with their mortal followers. And what better way was there than the information super highway? Other than directly visiting the temples that were built for them? None!Well anyway, after a long day of training with fellow deity Lina Inverse, The goddess of Beast Slayers, the Dragonborndecided to use this new computer since no one else was near it. As he sat down on the chair, he noticed that there was a strange note on the computer. He picked it up and noticed the following:

“Dear Dragonborn. Please follow the instructions and visit the following site. Love: TY”

On the bottom of the note was a small list of steps on how to access the web browser, the domain name for a website along with a picture of a strange snake that was wearing a black hat. Considering how this was his first time ever using a technological object that was not built by the Dwemer, he was a bit exited. Dovahkiin awkwardly and slowly followed the instructions on the note. Some of the more tech-savy gods couldn’t help but to snicker a bit as they bypassed him, clearly amused by his inexperience with computers. The Dovahkiin was not bothered by this as he kept trying to type and click on the computer. After what seemed like 10 minutes, he finally managed to enter the website that was described on the note. At first he had a small smile on his face, awaiting the website to load. However, once the loading was finished, his eyes became red at what he saw. His fists began to shake and shortly thereafter, his body began to tremble as if he had suffered from both an epileptic attack and a stroke. Some of the gods who were amused by his incompetence a few minutes ago seemed worried at his strange behavior. It looked as if he was about to pull out his blade against the computer, but then he collapsed onto the ground, bleeding from his nose and frothing from his mouth.Almost instantly as this bizarre event occurred, some divine medics carried him away, trying to find a god or goddess who is experienced in healing as some of the inhabitants in the House of Combat gave the computer strange looks. After almost an entire minute of silence (something that is quite a rarity in this particular house), Zangief, The God of the Spinning Pile Driver, sat down at the computer due to curiosity. The large Russian seemed rather confused due to what he saw.

Zangief: I do not understand, comrades… what is this…”Arrow to the knee”?

A week later, the news had spread about Dovahkiin being tricked by a note written by Terumi Yuuki, aka, Hazama, the God of Trolling, to visit a website that documented every time someone made something “Arrow to the knee”-related. Due to the intense and unfathomable amounts of rage he suffered due to this, he ended up with three cerebral hemorrhages and two strokes. Luckily, Black Jack, the God of Surgery, managed to fix him up with some help from The Medic, the God of Harmful Healing. They didn’t, however, manage to fix his mental state, since he was during those days a bit more prone to attacking fellow gods. Just three days after his surgery, he destroyed a large part of Hawkeye’s shooting range by shouting it apart just because one of the man-shaped targets had a scar on the knee.In the House of Food, Dovahkiin slowly wandered in, making his way to the part of the house that looked like a mead hall before he sat down on a chair, looking as if he had not slept for a year. He simply ate some sweet rolls, trying to hold his eyes open. He felt like he was constantly at the verge of falling asleep. He couldn’t stop thinking about the website. It kept him awake at nights and woke him up through nightmares. A good amount of deities were keeping their distance from him, considering the Hair-Trigger Temper he had developed. He thought he was going to be sitting alone once more. But to his surprise, Lina Inverse sat in front of him as she handed him some gold. He seemed rather uninterested in it as he kept looking at his sweet rolls, not even batting an eye at her. There was an awkward silence between the two until she handed him a camera that she had stolen from another goddess, Tomoyo Daidouji. As she walked away rather quickly, he opened the camera and saw a small note inside. The Dragonborn took a deep sigh before he started to read from the note.

Dovahkiin: If this is what I think it is, then I swear by Talos, someone is going to be gutted…

As he looked through the note, he was a bit more relaxed. It didn’t have anything that he would interpret as an arrow or a knee. He noticed that it was from Lain Iwakura, the Goddess of The Internet.

“Dragonborn. I have heard about your issue and decided to give you some advice in order to make sure that the best possible outcome is reached for all parties. Though I cannot erase the material that is causing you anger, I can make sure that its popularity is greatly reduced over time. Here is what you will need to do…”

The day after in the “proud” domain of Mary Suetopia, Peter Griffin, one of the gods belonging to the Disgraces, was watching TV before he heard a heavy knock on the door. He walked towards the door and opened it, only to find the Nordic dragon slaying Demi-god standing outside. In his right hand was a small handheld camera and in his left hand was a small note. His eyes were even redder than before as he looked down on the god from Quahog. Peter was silent as he was feeling uncomfortable by standing in front of what in his mind looked like a gay Viking.

Peter: …ok…well…this is getting more awkward than that time I…

Before he could finish his sentence, he was interrupted as Dovahkiin held the note in front of his face.

Dovahkiin: Read it loudly and I’ll give you a thousand Septims!
Peter: What the hell is a Septim?

In response to his question, the Dragonborn simply tossed a large leather pouch of golden coins at his feet. As Peter picked it up, his eyes became wide when he saw the contents of the sac. This was enough for him to play along.

Peter: Ah, sweet! Ok, pal, let’s do this!

As Peter grabbed the note, the Dovahkiin’s hand was slightly shaking as he began to record the act of Peter reading from the note.

Peter: Ok, let’s see here…”I used to be an athlete, but then I took an arrow to the knee.”…I don’t get it…

The moment where Peter had finished his sentence, the Dragonborn had a very small smile on his face as he stopped recording and put the camera in his armor. He then took a deep and calm breath before he slowly turned from a state of tranquility to an utter state of rage.

Dovahkiin: YOL TOOR…

Meanwhile in the Pantheon, Terumi Yuuki was sitting in one of the many rooms used by the House of Mentalism as he was watching TV. He was rather bored despite his successful attempt at trolling the Dovahkiin, since he wanted to gain more out of it. For the Dovahkiin to suffer some temporarily brain damage and throwing a few hissy fits was not enough for him. He wished for him to be in far more despair. The fact that the news channel was not entertaining him with images of wars and suffering didn’t help either. Terumi took a deep sigh as he was about to change the channel.

Terumi: Wow…the news really sucks to day.
News anchor: and that was the story regarding the rumors of Discord’s change of heart.

Before Terumi could press the button, the anchor was given some feed from his earpiece.

News anchor: This just in! A massive fire has broken out in the suburban parts of Mary Suetopia, setting several buildings on fire. The starting point of this inferno is rumored to be the main domain of one of their gods, Peter Griffin.

As overhead images of the fire was shown, Terumi seemed to be interested in this particular event. He put down the remote as he leaned in a bit closer to the TV.

Terumi: …go on.
News anchor: Though details of the cause are still unclear, witnesses claim to have seen an assailant dressed as a Viking moments before the fire started. There have also been accusations of the assailant making a loud shout before the fire while holding a camera for unknown reasons.

As another overhead picture of the fire was shown, a fuzzy zoom-in on Dovahkin slowly walking away from the massive flames could be seen next to it. This made Terumi overjoyed as he laughed out loudly.

Terumi: HYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Delicious despair! All this rage and suffering over a simple note! I’ve really outdone myself this time.

Two days after the incident in Mary Suetopia, Dovahkiin once more entered the House of Food in order to eat more sweet rolls, but he looked to be in a much better state of mind than before. He was far more relaxed as he munched down on the sugary treat wile thinking about how to further improve his Thu’um. Before he could get into much deeper thought, he noticed Lina Inverse sitting down in front of him once more. She was holding some bounty posters that she was planning to give to her mortal followers through the temples.

Lina: Seems you’re in a better mood today.
Dovahkiin: Indeed. Sure, I incinerated a large chunk of Mary Suetopia in order to do so, but I think it helped me vent a bit.
Lina: I know that feeling. But I’m still confused to why you had to go there in order to deal with the whole “ArroI mean that “thing” you had to deal with.

Lucky for Lina, the Nord from Skyrim seemed too happy to notice what she almost said. He instead made a small laugh before answering her.

Dovahkiin: That’s what I thought too, but Lain helped explain it to me. You see, just like how you are the slayer of Beasts and I am the slayer of Dragons, one of the Disgraces that lived in Mary Suetopia happened to be what mortals on the internet call “The Slayer of Memes”. Apparently…you-know-what, happened to be this strange thing known as a “meme”. Lain noticed that whenever he mentioned one of these “memes” on broadcasting, then it would…

Dovahkiin tried to hold back his need to vomit for a moment for before continuing his explanation.

Dovahkiin: …a massive, but thankfully short boost in popularity before it died away. So I went there and had him say…THAT as I recorded it with this strange device that you were asked to give me. I then gave it to Lain and she uploaded it. All I have to do now is to wait until it is no longer amusing to the mortals.
Lina: That’s kind of a cool idea. So what about Terumi?

Dovahkiin finished his last sweet roll before standing up from his seat and walking out of the House of Food.

Dovahkiin: Well…let’s just say that I will have three words for him if we ever meet…or six…or nine…it depends.

With those words, he walked out of the gates, ready to start another adventureThe end of chapter 2.

Episode 3: The Great Retcon of the Pantheon’s Azure

It was a normal day in the Pantheon, as Karen Minazuki has just finished her visit to the house of Charlotte LaBouf. Afterwards, she was heading to a certain house/clinic… to resume her studies.

Karen: Excuse me… Miss Litchi? Are you there? It’s Karen… Oh? It’s empty…

Noticing that the house was empty, Karen entered the house. However, she was quick to notice that there was a letter. Karen reads it, and her face was quick to turn to blue in shock as she was shaking in fear.

Karen: No… no, it can’t…!!

Karen ran out of the house, forgetting everything else. Along the way, she passed by another Goddess… Mami Tomoe. But Karen paid her no mind and continued running.

Mami: … Hm? Karen-san, I thought she’s going to pay a visit to Miss Litchi. But still, that face… something’s not right.

Mami followed Karen from behind, making sure that she was not spotted. We switch into Karen standing on a field, facing Litchi. However, the air around it was tense…

Litchi: Karen…
Karen: What is the meaning of this, Miss Litchi…!? Are you going back to the GUAE again!?
Litchi: I’m sorry… but there’s no other way if I want to…
Karen: Is it about that Roy guy again!? I thought you had me… Mr. Bang, Mami-san… Uncle Iroh… and even Hyoudou-san and Master Kim…! I know he’s important to you, but… Is that Roy… more…
Litchi: I wish it didn’t have come to this, but I must not waver from what I started… I… I must save him… and the GUAE now…

At this point Karen was heavily shaking, she was trying her best to hold her tears. Her mother figure just betrayed her trust, this was quite too much even for her.

Karen: I was wrong… I was wrong after all… I thought of you like an adoptive mother to me… I…
Litchi: Karen… if you want to stop me… then I will not hold back. Everything for him…
Karen: I WAS WRONG ABOUT YOU!! PRECURE! METAMORPHOSE!!

As such, Karen transformed once into her alter ego… and even so, Litchi’s face didn’t waver.

Cure Aqua: The blue spring of Intelligence! Cure Aqua!
Litchi: I told you, Karen… no, Cure Aqua. I won’t stop… even if I have to fight you.
Cure Aqua: You would toss us friends that care about you for a person that you should’ve let go… into the grinder. For a selfish desire! Litchi Faye-Ling!! This Is Unforgivable!!

The two rushed forward and a battle ensued….


????: … san… Karen-san…!

A voice was heard lowly as Karen woke up. Before her eyes, she saw Mami kneeling next to her, trying to tend to her. As she noticed, she was no longer in the form of Cure Aqua.

Karen: Mami-san… ugh…!

She could feel her body aching nearly everywhere, as she put her hands nearby.

Karen: What just… happ… oh…!
Mami: Is this about Miss Litchi? Karen-san… please, bear with me.
Karen: I was beaten to pulp… wasn’t I? And she…
Mami: Unfortunately it’s true…. she departed. I tried to reason with her, but she told me to take care of you instead. I saw her going with Relius Clover… myself… Perhaps… perhaps even Reptile would follow her…
Karen: Mami-san… you…?

Karen noticed that even Mami was slightly tearing up. She put her fingers and tossed wiped off her tears as she started waking up.

Mami: I… I’m sorry… It means… the Boobie Trio will…
Karen: I don’t know if Miss Sypha would reconsider after this… but… I… I can’t believe this… Miss Litchi… she… she betrayed us all… after all the build up she…
Mami: Karen-san… I knew she was like a mother to you. She told me that a lot…
Karen: I… I…!!

Tearing up, Karen fell into her knees, and after a bit of sobbing, she looked up to the sky and…


Days passed ever since that fateful day. Karen would never come out from her house, locking herself in her own room, ironically slightly fitting to her house title, the Lonely Rich Kid, although this case would be the ‘Betrayed Rich Kid’. She even refused to work on with Charlotte with her usual duties. She spent her time in her bed, crying until her pillows wet, and there’s a lot of pillows that she had in spare. The betrayal hit her too hard.Until she heard someone knocking the door and this was one of the people she trusted the most at this point…

????: Karen-san…? It’s me… Nozomi.
Karen: Huh…?

This one she really trusted. The leader of the Yes! Pretty Cure 5 team. She unlocked the door to her room and welcomed Nozomi in.

Karen: Nozomi…
Nozomi: How are you feeling Karen-san?
Karen: Well, it’s as you can see… betrayed.
Nozomi: Karen-san… you really do care for Miss Litchi, didn’t you?
Karen: … Yeah… I guess so… She was one of the people who helped Mami-san sort out my entrance to this Pantheon. But to think that she…
Nozomi: Hm… Well I’m not good at this kind of thing… Oh yeah! I know! How about we take a little walk outside?? Maybe it’ll refresh your mind a bit! Maybe we should go to a concert by the 765Pro idols!
Karen: E-eh? Nozomi, I…
Nozomi: Okay! So, let’s get out there and have a walk! Kettei!!
Karen: (I suppose I should… I do look so pathetic in front of Nozomi this way…)

Nozomi pulled Karen into the door entrance of her room. However, just as Nozomi opened the door… a familiar huge chest and red clothes await in front.

Karen: E-eh…!? This is….!
Litchi: Karen? How are you doing?
Karen: M-Miss Litchi…!? B-but… but I… uh… ah… um you just…
Litchi: Karen, what’s gotten into you? Did you get a cold?

And meanwhile, a certain redhead still kept her smile.

Karen: N-Nozomi!? You’re not… I mean, she just…
Nozomi: Heh… hehehe…
Litchi: It’s all right, Karen… I’m here.
Karen: Ah… ahhh…

Tears of Joy couldn’t even stop flowing from Karen’s eyes as she finally threw her head into Litchi’s bosom and hugged her.

Karen: AAAAAAAHHH!!! Miss Litchi…! I… I…!!
Litchi: There, there, Karen… You must be pretty lonely because of that. Let me explain everything… apparently Haruhi had a hand in this.
Karen: Aaaaahhh… *sob*… *sob*
Nozomi: Hmm… Karen-san is happy, I can see it…

And so everyone sat down inside the table, with Nozomi also joining in Litchi in explaining. It turns out, Nozomi actually met her outside and was told about what happened, and decided that throwing a surprise to Karen about this would be a great idea.

Litchi: So… that’s about it. All those events were considered forbidden knowledge… and Haruhi pressed the Azure Reset Button. Everything is now as normal as if those never happened.
Nozomi: Yep! And even it gets some guys like Jin and Hakumen to agree!
Karen: … This is… unbelievable. To think that Ragna would end up like that… and even Jin and Tsubaki…
Nozomi: I also visited Alice Margatroid, and I see her actually really happy when she saw that Carl coming back to work on the Goliath Doll project!
Karen: Really, that’s a relief…
Litchi: When we reunited once we met again, they were… surprisingly not hostile to me, rather they seem to know about what happened there, and were glad that it didn’t happen here. Still… *sigh*
Karen: Why the sigh?
Litchi: To think that… I would abandon you… I can’t believe that I’ve been this selfish…
Karen: That selfishness is part of you, to be honest. But… I agree it was quite abrupt, if even Haruhi dislikes it, it means something. But please… we shouldn’t linger about it too much.
Litchi: I agree. So… Karen? Will you let me teach you medicine again?
Karen: Of course! I’d be glad to! Let us go to your house then!

Nozomi witnessed as Karen took Litchi’s hand and pulled her out of her house, heading to the latter’s house, as if nothing happened.


Meanwhile, on a cliff somewhere, Hakumen was standing, watching the setting sun. Behind him, he was approached by bothKenshiro and Sanger Zonvolt.

Sanger: This decision… are you sure about this?
Hakumen: It is. I have no regrets.
Kenshiro: It will still mean that Terumi Yuuki and Relius Clover were still out there and holding a large number of power. I know the grudge you have against those…
Hakumen: It is better this way.
Kenshiro: !?
Sanger: Do not be alarmed. We do not regret this either. But I am aware that you have a giant dislike towards Terumi…
Hakumen: I can take him on anytime. It surprises me that I would take this decision, but… I believe it’s for the greater good of the Pantheon.
Kenshiro: Hm… then we will respect it as well.

And atop of a high mountain of the Pantheon, Cosmos witnessed the events unravel, and commented.

Cosmos: This peace may be for the best… but effects of that forbidden knowledge still linger somewhere… In time… they may even rise up once again…

However… Unknown to many, a telephone line in the Pantheon was active and someone spoke through.

????: Yes, it seemed that the Reset Button has been pressed yet again……. No, everyone seem to think that they won’t remember. They think everything would happen again…. Yes. The Takamagahara reset at least allows them to retain some parts of the memory. At the very least, so they were led to believe. It’s a fact that Yuuki Terumi often boasted…… No, no one seems to notice that I am one of the few unaffected. In that case…. Yes, that’ll be one perfectionist down for your path if this is to succeed…
????: Heh… At last… perhaps I will savor the surprised face of the Mad Puppeteer when he received his due present… Just signal me when the time comes.
????: Indeed. It was good talking with you… Albert Wesker.

????: Same goes to you… Revolver Ocelot.

Cue the Scare Chord!

Episode 4: Harem Breather

It was another day in the life of Issei Hyodo, the Harem King in training. It has been three weeks since his group, the Chick Magnet Quartet, has busted Yuno Gasai with the help of the Special Lovers Squad for her bombing of the House of Love, and got a place in the GUAG because of it. He was living his life normally after this adventure: he’s been visiting his haremettes from time to time, as well as his friends and his haremettes’ friends. He decided to go out to visit Rias in the Body Images Sub-House under Personal Appearance.

Issei: I hope she’s here today.

Issei was thinking about what to do with Rias today. He was also thinking to himself how the Body Images Sub-House really only has two guys, and almost every one was well-endowed women other than the beautiful redhead – such as Shanoa, Noel, Litchi and Valmet. However, before he could think further, he accidentally bumped into some one, and the two fell down. Issei looked at the person he bumped into, with the person being a girl with brown hair tied to long twintails, wearing black and red school uniform.

Ryoubi: Hey! Watch where you’re going, you near-sighted mule- Oh, it’s you.
Issei: Ryoubi…

Both Issei and Ryoubi stood up, with Ryoubi looking bit grumpy, while Issei himself looked rather irritated.

Issei: What are you doing here?…
Ryoubi: Hey, I am one of residence of this House, so I should have the right to ask you that. However, I am actually going somewhere else. That’s all. Honest. Look, I even left my musket back at my temple [Not that I really need to carry it around…]
Issei: …..
Ryoubi: Geez, give me a break! I have other things to do than endlessly pursue your precious girlfriend. Really, of you and of your “little” harem, she is the only one I give a crap about. Okay, I have to work with that Koneko girl and I am glad that that Akeno girl keeps my sister busy, but outside of you being the only thing standing between Rias and a bullet, I have nothing against you. So make sure that stays that way.

Issei started to calm down. He couldn’t really let his guard down with her, but since she hasn’t yet actually harmed Rias, she was safe for now.

Issei: Do you know is she’s in her temple right now?
Ryoubi: Beats me. I haven’t heard that she has left, so maybe. Even then, I frankly don’t give a flying fuck about her safety! Now if you excuse me, I have places to go. Bye.
Issei: Uhh… Bye? (That girl has quite the beef with Rias. I have to wonder why?)

Ryoubi walked right past Issei, with Issei looking behind him to make sure she wasn’t planning anything. Though he knew he had no reason to stand here for the rest of the day and started heading forwards Rias’ temple again. What he found surprised him. There was the Occult Research Club with Negi… And six other girls our lovable pervert has never seen before.

Issei: Girls? Guys? And… Who are these women?
Rias: Oh, you’re here, Ise. We have a few guests today. These are the girls of the Infinite Stratos Academy.
Issei: The IS Academy? That all-female military school which has found one male student recently?
Rias: Indeed. These girls are: Houki Shinonono, Huang Lingyin and Laura Bodewig of the House of Love; Charlotte Dunois of this house; Cecilia Alcott of the House of Royalty; and finally teacher Chifuyu Orimura of the House of Profession.
Issei: Hi, there… So… What brings you here?
Charlotte: Bonjour! You must be Issei Hyodo, am I right?
Issei: Yeah, it’s me! (shakes hands with Charlotte) Pleased to meet you.
Charlotte: I’m Charlotte! It’s great to make your acquaintance!
Houki: We came here to have a discussion with your Quartet.
Negi: These girls are interested to have someone… A guy named Ichika Orimura to join us.
Issei: Ichika Orimura? Wasn’t he the high priest of a Disgraced deity? I’m surprised he managed to enter the Pantheon.
Laura: Do not talk shit about my wife!

Issei blinked his eyes, baffled. Did she just call him something that applied to a female?

Issei: Your… Wife?
Laura: Ja! He’s my wife! Do you find anything wrong with that?!
Issei: No, it’s just… Ahh, screw this.

He took a seat, and the conversation regarding Ichika ensued.

Issei: How did he get into the Main Pantheon?
Charlotte: We’ve asked the Main House to have him into the pantheon proper.
Rias: It was difficult, to put it on a lighter note! He seriously risked to be thrown to the Disgraces!
Laura: The fact that he was the High Priest of – (shudders) – that guy I won’t mention – made things harder for us!
Cecilia: Hopefully, O-Haruhi-Sama has helped us on that regard, and now Ichika is here!
Chifuyu: I have to be honest… I was truly joyous when I heard my brother has arrived in the Pantheon.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Rin: You figure it out yet?
Emi: Give me a minute…oh, I got it: I’m…no, that doesn’t work. Kidman! I’m Kidman!
Rin: I guess. So, who’s left…Hisao. Who’s Hisao?

Emi snorted.

Emi: Sebastian, duh.
Rin: Why, because he’s the hero?
Emi: Because he can’t run three seconds without getting winded.
Rin: True. Oh, I know who I am: The Keeper.

Emi blinked.

Emi: Huh?
Rin: I’d like to have a safe for a head. I mean, I’d never misplace anything.
Emi: …Sure. So…what about Shizune?
Rin: Joseph. You know, glasses.
Emi: So, Kenji is Leslie, Hisao is Sebastian, I’m Kidman, Misha’s the Sadist, you’re The Keeper, Shizune is Joseph, Lilly is that Spotlight lady from the add-on…so that leaves…
Rin: Ruvik. Hanako is Ruvik.
Emi: Quite so.

Back At the House of Personal Appearance

Issei: So then, Where’s Ichika?
Negi: The Miscellaneous subhouse. The same subhouse I reside in the House of Love.
Chifuyu: Please, Mr. Hyodo. I want you to be a tour guide for him.
Issei: Aren’t you his mother? You shouldn’t be asking me to do this.
Chifuyu: I’m his sister, actually. I’m pretty busy giving lessons at the Pantheon Academy.
Issei: Then it’s settled. By the way, you’re pretty hot. You remind me of Rossweisse, with you being a teacher and all.
Chifuyu: I… Don’t like having my looks appreciated.
Issei: But… You’re the goddess of Hot Teachers, am I right?
Chifuyu: I didn’t want to accept that place to begin with.
Negi: How did you get the position?
Chifuyu: A man named Aikuro Mikisugi found the duty a bit too troublesome to do it alone, so the Main House added me as co-god with him.
Issei: I… Never knew it would be quite tiresome for you. Negi and I wish you good luck.
Negi: I’ll assist you whenever you want, okay.

Chifuyu smiled at the words of encouragement the two boys gave him.

Chifuyu: Issei… Negi… Thank you.
Negi: I’ll make sure the students behave if they ever try to do something perverted.
Chifuyu: I certainly need the help. I’ve got class in twenty two minutes.
Rias: I’m coming with you, Ise. Besides, Bayo-chan’s lessons are today.
Cecila: Lessons? What kind of lessons does this Bayo person have?

Issei and Negi were nervous about inviting them there.

Negi: …I think you girls should stay away from there.

The IS Academy girls looked at each other before Chifuyu opened her mouth.

Chifuyu: Is it a bad place?
Negi: Not at all. It’s just kind of… Well… It’s quite libidinous.
Koneko: It’s very, very smutty. Don’t go there.
Akeno: Don’t listen to her, you should definitely attend her lessons!
Koneko: Bayo’s a complete skank, and you know it.
Rias: For the millionth time, Koneko, Bayo is not a skank. She’s just very kinky.

Koneko crossed her arms and turned her head the other way to her chagrin.

Koneko: Whatever.
Houki: I’m not sure I want to try it.

This was getting out hand. Issei walked up to Rias and whispered to her ear.

Issei: R-Rias, are you sure it’s a good idea to bring them in?
Rias: Negi will take the girls out of Bayo’s temple if they don’t like it.
Issei: If that’s the case…

Issei, as reluctant as he was, placed his hands on his hips and made an announcement.

Issei: Females of the IS Academy! Negi Springfield and I will be your… Chaperon (Am I the same age as these girls are?)?
Chifuyu: Very well… I’ll let you take these girls to the House of Love. I’m going to the Academy to teaching them.

With all being said and done, The Occult Research Club, Negi, and the IS Academy Girls departed to the House of Love to meet up with Bayonetta while Chifuyu left for the Academy.


House of LoveThe group were in front of Bayonetta’s temple for today’s lesson. The IS Academy Girls were a bit nervous.

Issei: This is the temple of the woman known as Bayonetta. If you’re uncomfortable with her lessons, ask Negi to escort you out. I’m going to go for Ichika’s temple. Any questions?

Nobody answered.

Issei: Good! With that said, I’m off! See ya later, guys!

Akeno knocked on the door as Issei headed off to the Miscellaneous Subhouse.

Asia: Please come back, Ise-san!
Akeno: Bayo? Please open up! It’s me!

At first, there was no response. They waited for two minutes, but Bayonetta still didn’t respond.

Rias: Normally, she would open for the door for us. Is she busy or something?
Charlotte: Huh? The door’s opening.

They turned to the door and opened the door. The person who opened it was someone they didn’t expect. A guy in a red coat.

???: Alright, what do you people want?
Akeno: We’re here to have lessons from Bayo-chan.

The figure scratched his head bewildered. Was this guy a friend of Bayonetta’s? To them, he looked more like a thug than anything.

???: When did that Witch started giving out sessions? She never told me about that.
Irina: …Who are you?
???: I’m Dante. I’m just here to stay over her house. She’s busy doing something with that Balder guy.
Negi: Can we can come in?
Dante: …Why not? I’ve gotten bored.

Dante invited the group inside Bayonetta’s temple. The Occult Research Club girls went onto the stage room, with Negi, Dante and the IS Academy girls following them.

Dante: That witch started giving strip club lessons?
Akeno: (giggles) More or less.

Dante was befuddled that Bayonetta started strip lessons. Does Bayonetta actually do this herself?

Dante: …I don’t even know what I’m in for anymore. Who was that dude who escorted you here? Is he that Issei guy my “neighbor” Hayate is talkin’ so much about?
Negi: Indeed. He’s actually friends with me. We even formed a group.
Dante: Really? You three are the luckiest bastards in the Pantheon. No freakin’ wonder that that Issei guy has been dubbed the “Pantheon’s Luckiest SOB”.
Negi: There’s four of us.
Dante: And who is this fourth member? Some pimp who trash-talks others, like that Blacker Baron guy?
Asia: Er, Mr. Dante…
Koneko: He’s a nerd here in the House of Love.
Dante: Hahaha… You’re being honest?
Xenovia: Yes. He’s a nerd that has a devil who likes him.

What a surprise. Dante never expected that a nerd could get a love interest.

Negi: He’s a nice person in all respects.
Dante: You’re kidding me, aren’t you?
Rias: Not in the slightest bit. Oh, and… Sorry if we did not introduce ourselves. We are the Occult Research Club. I am its leader, Rias Gremory of the House of Personal Appearance.
Asia: I am Asia Argento of the House of Magic.
Dante: Asia… Argento? Like that Italian actress?
Asia: Y-Yes.
Akeno: My name is Akeno Himejima, and I am of the House of Combat.
Koneko: Name’s Koneko Toujou. I’m from the House of Personality.
Xenovia: I am Xenovia Quarta, and she is Irina Shidou. We’re both of the House of Faith.
Dante: And these other five girls?
Houki: We are a group of students from the Infinite Stratos Academy. I am Houki Shinonono.
Lingyin: And I am Huang Lingyin!
Cecilia: My name is Cecilia Alcott.
Charlotte: Je suis Charlotte Dunois.
Laura: And last but not least, for I am Laura Bodewig.
Dante: …where are you girls from?
Rias: These girls are from the IS Academy. It is an all-girls school. Recently they have one male student by the name of Ichika Orimura.
Dante: Ichika Orimura? Who the hell is he?
Laura: He’s a nice guy and he’s going to be my wife.
Dante: (beat) …What?
Laura: Ja. You heard me.

Dante thought that Laura was out of her mind by saying that thing.

Dante: I think you have some loose screws.
Charlotte: (smiles) Don’t mind her, she always takes things seriously.
Dante: I doubt that.
Rias: Now if you’ll excuse, we’ll be changing.

The Occult Research Club girls went into Bayonetta’s dresser room. Cecilia and Laura took the bunny suits for the two of them and went to her bathroom.

Dante: I’m going to sleep in her bed.

Dante went to Bayonetta’s bedroom to get some sleep, leaving Houki, Lingyin, Charlotte, and Negi standing.

Cecilia: It’s been a long time since I’ve worn a bunny suit!
Laura: Seducing Ichika is a very serious task.
Cecilia: Is it really that important to you?
Houki: I’m going outside.
Charlotte: I’m going to watch the girls perform.
Lingyin: Same with Charlotte.
Negi: We’re waiting here.

13 minutes laterThe Occult Research Club, Cecilia, and Laura were finished putting on their outfits and went on the stage. Charlotte pressed the switch for the poles to appear.

Lingyin: Everything’s ready!
Akeno: (giggles) Let’s give Issei and Ichika a nice surprise.
Rias: All right, let’s do this.

The girls started to dance, while waiting for their respective loved ones to arrive.


In the Miscellaneous subhouse, Issei, after speaking with Jiraiya, Johnny, and Kagura, and also after having to shove off a flirty Panty away from him, was at Ichika’s temple. The two had a brief conversation.

Issei: To make a long story short… Do you want to join the Chick Magnet Quartet, Ichika Orimura?
Ichika: I… I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but… Uh, I’ll think about it.
Issei: Ah, doesn’t matter. Come with me now; our girls are waiting in Bayonetta’s temple!
Ichika: W-Wait, I’m not-
Issei: (takes Ichika by himself) Come on, we’re gonna have some good fun! Don’cha want to grope a good pair of boobies? I sure as hell want to!
Ichika: (sighs) Okay…

Issei grabbed Ichika and headed for Bayonetta’s temple.


House of Love, Lust subhouse, Bayonetta’s temple, 8 minutes laterThe girls danced with Koneko dancing nervously in reluctance. Negi was in the kitchen, making some food to feed himself and the girls. Charlotte’s nose was bleeding in… delight?

Lingyin: Uh, Charlotte? You should get some tissues.
Charlotte: (I wonder if I should do this to Ichika.)

The girls on the stage did some very erotic dances on the pole. Suddenly, Issei arrived with Ichika. Obviously, the former’s reaction seeing his haremettes putting up a show for him needed to be seen to be believed.

Issei: (his nose starts leaking blood) Sweet… Mother of… Boobies!
Ichika: (blushes uncontrollably) Uh, girls, I don’t think a pole-dance should be necessary!
Issei: Come on! Enjoy this awesome sight! A bunch of hot chicks workin’ it, that’s a sight you can only get in strip clubs, or porn movies!
Akeno: Ohh, guess who’s back, ufufufu~
Issei: HERE I COME!!!! YAAAAHOOOOOO!!!

Issei rushed to the girls and landed face-first into Akeno’s breasts.

Issei: Ahhhh! Truly blissful…
Akeno: (giggles) Someone’s being a little naughty~

Before they continue to dance, an exhausted Dante yelled from Bayonetta’s Bedroom.

Dante: Who came inside?
Charlotte: Issei and Ichika are here.

Dante was surprised to hear that Issei was inside the temple.

Dante: (groans) …I’m gonna have a headache.

Dante went back to Bayonetta’s bed and slept, covering his ears. Meanwhile, Issei was surrounded by his scantily-clad haremettes, with Charlotte and the others watching by the sidelines. The level of fanservice Issei witnessed around him was beyond imagination: Rias was wearing a frilly, crimson-colored bra with a matching g-string and black knee-socks with red ballerina shoes; Asia was wearing a strapless light blue French Maid Outfit with no bra, but matching panties covering the naughty bits; Akeno was clothed with a black latex micro-bikini top and a matching low-rise hakama cut like a microskirtbut no panties; Koneko was wearing a white corset with pink panties, matching silk gloves, thigh-high boots, and fake cat ears; Xenovia was clothed in a navy blue backless leotardwhich also let her cleavage fully open, with matching stockings and high-heeled shoes; and finally, Irina was wearing a light orange basque with black accents, a dark grey tanga and black stockings latched to a garter belt. Obviously, Issei was in cloud nine seeing his girls clothed so skimpily and dancing around him in ever-so erotic ways.

Issei: Who was that?
Charlotte: His name’s Dante; a friend of Bayonetta’s.
Issei: Bayo isn’t here?
Rias: Not yet, she’s dealing with some business. In the meantime… (uses her hands to lift her breasts up and down) Just enjoy my striptease. I am doing this for you and only you.
Issei: Need… Tissues… Now!
Akeno: Mmmh, you want to sink your baby-face between my breasts again, Ise-kun?
Asia: These… Are things you really like, Ise-san… I’m so happy to do them for you!
Koneko: Don’t say anything, Ise-senpai. Just… Don’t say anything.
Xenovia: Does this outfit want you to make babies with me, Ise? I certainly hope so!
Irina: I’m not just your childhood friend, y’know!

Issei was delighted to see his girls putting up a show for him. Ichika… Not so much.

Ichika: C-Cecilia… Laura… Why are you doing this?
Cecilia: Because I like you, duh!
Laura: You are my wife, and it is my duty to reward you.
Charlotte: Ah, you know what? I’m getting some action, as well! (goes to Bayonetta’s bathroom)
Houki: I’ll go as well.
Lingyin: Don’t forget me!
Ichika: (The other three are going to join them in this? …I’m screwed.)

However, as the three entered the bathroom, the Umbra Witch entered her temple, all while licking a lollipop.

Bayonetta: Well, well, well. Looks like we have some company.
Akeno: Bayo-chan?
Issei: S-She’s here!
Koneko: …Hmph.

Upon seeing Bayonetta’s arrival, the girls immediately stopped dancing. Dante also woke up, although he was still a bit drowsy.

Bayonetta: I see you were… “Training”, so to speak.
Dante: (while rubbing his left eye) Hi there, Bayo.
Bayonetta: Hello, Dante. You were sleeping on my bed, were you?
Dante: Yeah, just a bit tired from doing all the adjustments to your room. How’s the business with Balder?
Bayonetta: We aren’t going anywhere, unfortunately. I’ll tell you more about it later.
Dante: OK. I’ll just rest at my temple.

With that said, Dante departs to his temple in the House of Profession. Meanwhile, Negi exits the kitchen, finally serving some dishes for Issei, Ichika, and their haremettes.

Bayonetta: There’s also that child mage.
Negi: Ah, you’re back here, Bayonetta.
Bayonetta: Oh, you’ve cooked some stuff for us.
Negi: Sure! You want something?
Bayonetta: No, thanks. I’m tired. Girls, you are free to keep up with your training.

Bayonetta went to her bedroom, going to sleep while Negi feed the group with rice cakes.

Rias: These are pretty good.
Negi: Glad to hear that.

The group ate the rice cakes worked out to resume their session. Issei and Ichika approached Negi and the three of them have a banter.

Ichika: I never expected you’d be able to cook decently.
Negi: I’ve read a manual from the House of Food on how to cook it. I’ve heard from your sister that you’re a great cook as well.
Ichika: Well… She made me the God of House Husbands, after all.

Ichika laughed nervously as Issei resumed covering his face in the boobs of the haremettes, causing Ichika to sigh in exasperation.

Ichika: …Why is that guy so perverted? Hell, why aren’t they staying away from him anyway?
Negi: You’re surely not the only one in the Pantheon which asks himself this question. But really, he works very hard to protect them. I suppose you should speak to him about it.

Issei was a pervert indeed, but he’s no bastard by any normal means. By the look on the faces of the Occult Research Club, they enjoyed it.

Ichika: I-Ise-san! Aren’t you supposed to guide me to the Pantheon?

The humanoid dragon stopped in his tracks and turned to Ichika.

Issei: Why don’t you just enjoy the show a bit longer? It’s really fun if you jump into the action!
Negi: (laughs) That’s Issei for you. Your sister told us to only invite you to the Chick Magnet Quartet, but to be your tour guide as well.
Ichika: My sister? You mean Chifuyu?
Negi: Yes.
Ichika: Well, it’s not like a couple hundred extra happenings in my everyday life could hurt in some way…
Negi: The life of a Pantheon god is very turbulent, to say the least.

The two of them watched Issei surround himself with his haremettes. However, Ichika forcibly dragged him away from the girls.

Issei: H-Hey! Why did you drive me away from my girls? What’s up with that?!
Ichika: You making this stuff with your haremettes is making things… Awkward.
Issei: Come on, this is the House of Love! Things like these are the norm here!
Negi: …Let’s just give him a tour of the Pantheon, OK?
Issei: (sighs) All right…

1 hour and 40 minutes after Issei and Negi finished giving Ichika a tour of the Pantheon, the three rested at the House of Food to get something to eat. Ichika and Issei started talking.

Ichika: Just tell me something, Issei.
Issei: What is it?
Ichika: Why are you so perverted?
Issei: (sharp inhale) I was 7 years old when I, with a few friends of mine, have heard a teaching from an old man.
Ichika: What did he say?
Issei: He recommended us to suck on girls’ breasts, for whatever reason.
Ichika: That guy really must know the term “decency”. And then what happened next?
Issei: The next day, I didn’t see that old man anymore; he was sentenced to 10 years in jail.

So that was it. That was what started it all. Ichika really wished that his mother kept him away from that man. Ichika stopped eating his food and looked around.

Issei: What is it?
Ichika: It’s nothing… I’ll just go back to my temple.

Ichika stood up and left for his temple. Before he could move, Issei stopped him in his tracks.

Issei: Ichika… please, I’m sorry if I was a bit harsh toward you in Bayonetta’s temple.
Ichika: I’m sorry for driving you away from your haremettes, as well. …I may join your group some time later: for now I’ll stick with the Robot War Division. Until then… I’ll see you next time.

Taking his food with him, he left for his temple in the House of Love. Issei looked at him as he went on.

Issei: (Ichika Orimura… I can’t let you just go back to your temple unmonitored.)

The humanoid dragon slowly got up from his table and slowly followed Ichika without getting caught by him.

Negi: (What is Issei planning to do?)

The mage quickly finished eating his meal, got up from his table and quickly pursued Issei. As Ichika returned to his temple, however, he busted the two.

Ichika: What are you two doing here?
Issei: Your Sister would be worried if something were to happen to you.
Ichika: …I certainly appreciate your apprehension, but don’t worry, I can take care of myself.

As Issei and Negi stood there quietly, Ichika went inside his temple to relax. The two of them discuss to decide their next plan.

Negi: What should we do now?
Issei: I guess we should send the IS the girls in.
Negi: Are you sure that’s a good idea?
Issei: We’ll see…

They went back into Bayonetta’s temple to get the IS Academy girls. Much to the two’s surprise, the girls weren’t there; apparently they all went back to their temples. The only girls present were the ones of the Occult Research Club.

Issei: Eugh… Screw it. I don’t want to look like a stalker.
Negi: Don’t worry so much about him, Issei. I’m sure he’ll join the group some time later.
Rias: He may not have be like you Issei, but I know the girls will have good bonds with us.
Iseei: Of course… For now.

Issei landed his face on Rias’ boobs.

Issei: I’ll be in paradise…

All of the Occult Research Club Girls along with Negi smiled as The perverted, humanoid dragon enjoyed himself.

Episode 5: Operation “Mochi on the Moon”

One day, a group of people restlessly chased after a certain Moon Rabbit in search for the Legendary Mochi that only it could make.Having her cornered to the lair, the Moon Rabbit had no other choice but to personally make it for them.Unfortunately for her, those guys weren’t just any ordinary food lovers.These guys were some of the most gluttonous gods in Pantheon, constantly on a gourmet quest for the most exodic foods. They were notorious for having stomachs that knew no end.So, from having to stuff their stomach with tens of thousands of mochi, the poor rabbit fainted, with blistered fingers from holding the mallet and pounding with all her strength.As she was been taken back to the infirmary by her rabbit servants, Eirin continued greeting the guests, who were stuffing themselves with mochi. Looking at their happy faces, Eirin thought of something.

Eirin: Everyone, can I ask you of something?

The seemingly non-stop eating machines stopped to pay attention to her, while still putting food in their mouth.

Eirin: Can you please advertise Reisen’s work?

She said so without hesitation, while bowing her head.Reisen was been working hard for her.Ever since she have been transfer here, her workload have been more than double the usuals, more so when there’re incidents. Even when she have been given a titles, she still being treated almost the same at when she’s in Gensokyo. Even more worrying is the fact that some people held a looks of comtempt at her when they found outs she a fugitive, deserted from the war on the moon.This could jeopardize her effort, even reduced it to nothing. Her effort to built relation and become a working member of the sociaty and the relationship she made in here could collasped to mere dust.And yet Reisen haven’t said a things about that to her.Perhap she treat it at non-importance, perhap the Master-Servant relationship prevent her from saying thus. Even being the Brain of the Moon, there’re still infinite reason even she can’t think of. Either the infinite ways that could happen, this Brain of the Moon can’t even help her own servant, making her carry the invisible burden that maybe only her can see.But with this, maybe she can help Reisen somewhat. Casting aside her pride and demeanor, she asking their help with the most honest of intention.To her surprise however, each of those guy answered without even a moment of hesitation.A pair that just continues doing what they do in their own world filled with “food”.

Toriko: Of course i will do it…
Komatsu:… It was very good after all.

A pink ball of gluttony, happen to know this in his usual search for food.

Kirby: If i could eat more of this… I accept !

And a simple-minded curious about the Moon Rabbit.

Chie: It’s obivous that i will do it!

Hearing such reply. Eirin, hoping to be asked even a reason why, became dumbfounded. But she quickly regain composure.

Eirin:D-Don’t you wanted to ask more?

The childlish little girl, that’s also curious about the mochi, replied an answer everybody in that group would say.

Minori: Isn’t such good food must be showed to people?

Hearing that, Eirin expressed deep gratitude and thanking them . After a while, she told them what they should do…

???: Hmm… Interesting.

While someones was spying on them the whole times.

???: Let make them into our’s debut.

Saying that, the leader of a certain group silently disappeared with a robe.


Komatsu: Everyones, let discuss again about what Eirin-san want us to do.

He said that while holding a lunch box that contains the left-over mochis.

Komatsu: We’re going to take the mochis to the House Of Food and let them eat this while asking them for a spot to place a stall. Since it was delicious, this shouldn’t be a problem…

While they’re discussing, they continues to walk at a slow pace toward the transfer point to the House.Unable to hold herself back, Minori run in front of them, rushing them along:

Minori: Come on everybody! faster, faster!!
Chie: Wait a little bit, Minori-chan. Let him finish talking.

As Chie acting like the big sister and calming Minori down. Komatsu continues:

Komatsu: As the same time, we’ll advertise Reisen-san mochis along the way to other gods. With that, we’ll be sure to improve Reisen-san’s image to the public. Is everybody get it?
The rest: Yes !!!

Minori then continues to run off again.

Chie: Wait up, Minori-chan! we’re supposed to moved slowly to advertise to every gods we meet on the street!
Minori: But Chie-neesan…

Chasing after Minori, Chie tried to stop her.But…

Minori: There’re an All-you-can-eat BBQ buffet happening today. I can’t missed it!!
Chie:!!
Minori: Don’t worry! I will advertise that too!

After that, Minori began to run off at full speed, leaving everyones behind.It took a moment to realize what going on, but Komatsu then began to chase after her to stop her. But before he could do that…Chie suddenly sprinted at full speed.

Komatsu: Wa…!
Chie: I will chased after her. Don’t worry…

Sounding reliable, for a moment Chie turn her head back with face full of confident and a mouth full of drool, pulling a thumb up.

Chie: I will leave you guy some steak when i return !

Before Komatsu could responded back however, a gust of wind followed with a sonic boom zipped past him , leaving behind a pink afterimage. Not wanting to lose to Kirby’s Jet speed, Chie summoned her Persona to carries her and jump, catching up with Kirby in no time.Flabbergasted, Komatsu’s standing there watching them disappearing in front of his eyes. It’s only last for a moment though, when his vision suddenly shooked to Toriko’s back. Split second later, his body jerk to the back due to sudden acceleration.

Toriko: We have to catched up to them right?

Is what he heard last before the sound of them tearing through the air cancel out any sound they make.

Komatsu: (What about Eirin-san’s requested?)

He can only sigh in resignation.


And so the trip that would take hours to walk was reduced to 5 minutes.Originally, the reason they walk was so that they could advertised to the gods that they met along the way. But because of Minori’s impulse, their’s race to the House of Food have reduced it at such.Still, the first to arrive at the transfer point is Minori. It’s look like somehow the rest of the group is slowing each others down, leaving Minori at the front.The transfer point is a normal-looking rectangular building 1-storey high, taking an area of 1×2 square km, looking like an airport. In it contain devices that could instantly transport anybody to destination set in it.In it front gate stand a single person. His appearance is that of a normal salary-man in his 20s, his face showed a faint smile that seem to always appeared on his face, make him look really carefree.Not failed to notice him, Minori come over to strike a conversation:

Minori: Hi there, onii-san!!
???: Hello there.

Can’t hold back her own exciment, Minori continue to talk while flailing her arms around.

Minori: In the House of Food there’ll be mochis made by a moon rabbit!
???: Whoa… How do you know?

Looking surprise, the young man asked her.

Minori: That because we’re going to deliver the mochi to the chef in there and get their’s permission for opening a stall.
???: Heh…! Are you sure it going to work?
Minori: Sure it’s going to work! That’s because it’s delicious!

Without a shadow of doubt, Minori declare so to the young man.

???: Is that so? It just like what Leader said…
Minori: What are you talking about?
???: Never mind. Anyway, what’s your name?
Minori: Minori !
???: Just Minori ? This is a first time i met someone with only surname…
Minori: What your name onii-chan ?

Hearing such question, he’s scraching behind his head while making a apologizing face.

???: Sorry Minori-chan, but can i refrain from saying my name, at least not yet?
Minori: Don’t you know it’s rude if you don’t give your name as well?
???: I know that. It’s just that Leader said i can’t give my name to you guys until all of you are here…
Minori: What do you mean?
???: Just be patience, alright? Look…

Still confused, Mirori continues to watch the young man as he pull out a single card from thin air.To a knowledgable one, this is a Tarot card know as The Jester.

Chie: Minori-chan, stay away from this man !!

Surprised by the voice, Minori immediately turn around to see Chie rushing to her. Her Persona, Tomoe, however rush straight to the young man’s position, using her polearm to end his life. As her blade quickly reach him however, it have been stopped by a masked warrior in red, known as Magatsu-Izanagi, as his polearm collided with her’s. Just before that, Chie managed to drag Minori out of there.

???: Ones of your friend have come here already. She doesn’t like me very much though.

As the same time he’s saying that, Magatsu-Izanagi, using his weapon, pushed Tomoe out of the deadlock into her original position. They’re being locked in their’s respective place for awhile, as this man stared lazily into the distance, waiting for the rest to arrive. One by one they came.

???: …Look like all of you have come here. Now then…

He then take out an armband and wear it on his left arm, revealing a devil emoticon sticking out it tonge on a black background, with hair resembling his.

Adachi: My name is Tohru Adachi, “Itazura Black” of the Itazura Griefer.
All: Itazura…Griefer ?

As they’re baffle as the name, The man named Adachi began talking to himself out loud.

Adachi:…And Leader said i have to go hamed for dramatic effect…
Chie: What?
Adachi: Nothing. So anyway, I heard from Minori-chan over here that you’re in possesion of food made from the legendary Moon Rabbit, right?
Chie: So what !?
Adachi: So, Leader said she want to have a bite on that.

The group then became on guard, cautious for what he said. As representative, Chie continue to talk

Chie: Can’t you just wait for this to appeared in the House of Food?
Adachi: Unfortunately, our leader isn’t such a patience girl… After all, she wouldn’t want to missed her only chance to tasted it.
Chie: What do you mean by that ?
Adachi: Well, how should i…phrase it properly to not pissed off you guy?
Chie: Just say it !!

Despise taking on her word with so much anger and hatred, he recieve it with open arm and “politely” express his intention.

Adachi: She said that maybe this thing wouldn’t taste very good for the House of Food, that despised it’s name, it’s just like any others mochi with no “special property” or “transcended flavor”, and will be shotted down. So she wanted to eat it first to comfirm it before it gone…
The Rest: !!?
Adachi: Well, since you guy are such a glutton, maybe she was right! Having no taste and all.
The Rest: What did you said !!?

Now, the whole group tremble in fury. Emitting such animosity that, in the eyes of most people, would make them backed off a little.But once again, he revealed a twisted smile, having fulfilled his attention, which angering them even more. He then continues to talk, purposefully provoked them:

Adachi: So once again, can we have just a bite of that?
Chie:…What if we say no?

Chie then takes a step forward, glaring him in the eyes while Tomoe readied her stance.

Adachi: Then, like any cliche villain, we’re going to take it by force. Leader ordered so.

Magatsu-Izanagi also readied his stance, emitting dark aura that spilled out to the ground.

Chie: You guy go ahead, i’ll take care of this guy.
Adachi: Whoa… even the line you said is so cliche. It wouldn’t hurt to chance it up a bit you know.

Ignoring such unnecessary remark, she have Tomoe charged immediately into combat with Magatsu-Izanagi. Snapping out of their’s rage, they immediately responded to the situation.

Minori: I will help you wi…
Chie: I have personal beef with this guy in my world, so it’s best for me to fight him. Beside, if this keep up, the mochis will not be safe…

Distracted for awhile, Chie’s failed to notice Adachi’s Persona ramming her’s into her’s position, blowing her away. As Minori approach to aid Chie, Toriko suddenly hold her arm and sprinted as fast as possible to the front gate, with Komatsu on his back and Kirby on his side…

Minori: Wha…
Toriko: Chie is right ! We need to move quickly!
Adachi: Ara Ara… Did you think i’m going to let you escape?

When suddenly, a bunch of humanoid monster called Reaper appeared in their way, pointing guns at them.

Toriko: How do you think we DON’T know ! Flying Fork!

Toriko then aim his fingers at the Reapers and straighten out his arm toward them. As he do so, the Reapers in his way suddenly blow apart, leaving out 4 hole arrange in a straight line in the front gate. Taking this chance, Toriko successfully jumped into the building.

Chie: (Great, they escape with the mochis successfully, now i can deal with this guy “peacefully”…)

She then immediately jump onward, intending to land a kick on his face, only to be stopped by Reaper using his gun.

Chie: (…After all,he dare to insult our taste !)

Thinking thing like that, she and Tomoe continue to let out a blaze of fury onto Magatsu-Izanagi and the horde of Reapers…

Adachi: Man… that guy really is a monster, piercing through those Reapers like that…

Saying that though, Adachi’s sitting on the ground, relaxingly watching the battle unfolding before his eyes.

Adachi: …Though i’m purposefully letting those guy go… Now then…

He then take out a compact headphone, wearing it over his head and placing the microphone before his mouth. He then begin to communicate to his group.

Adachi: (“Red”, this is “Black”. Phase one has been completed)
???: (Affirmative, begin phase two of operation: “Mochi on the Moon”, keep what you’re doing until “then” )
Adachi: (Affirmative)

After that, as if bored on what happened before him, he layed down to the ground looking at the sky at some kind of plan is unfolding.

Adachi: (That’s still a lame name though…)

Again, he’s thinking such unnecessary remark.


After escaping Adachi, the group successfully teleported to the transport point near the House of Food. They continue to run at fast at they can to it (while still managed to tell everybody they met about the food).After awhile though, realizing that he’s still carrying Komatsu and Minori, he began to stop and let them down. Finally having a time to rest, they begin to discuss with each other

Toriko: Let keep going to the House of Food !

Was what they instantly decided.And so after they get enough rest, they continue going on their way.

Komatsu: By the way, what is the Itazura Griefers anyway?
Toriko: I don’t know, but these guys are strong. Those guys are also planning something if they let us passed like that.
Minori: Yeah, that guy managed to summoned that many monsters, yet we gone through their defense too easily. These monsters didn’t follow or ambushed us inside either, as if it’s crucial to their plan for us to come to the House of Food.
Komatsu: But then why? They could have stolen the mochis from us if they’re trying to stop us there.
Kirby: Anyway, we only need to defeat them when they came right?
Toriko: Be careful though, who know what they’re going to send next ? We have to keep being vigilant.
Minori: I bet they’re going to try to stop us one-by-one, to keep getting stronger until we met the final boss.
Komatsu: I don’t think they would do that, Minori-san…

Just like Komatsu said, they continued on their way without any obstruction.Finally, they arrived to the House of Food.

Komatsu:… This is it, if they want to stop us and take the mochis, this is the final place to do it.
Toriko: I wonder what kind of enemy we’re going to met.
Minori: …By the way, when do we know that it’s them anyway?

They suddenly grew stiff, having realized they don’t have any way to confirm their existance. Their motivation suddenly plummeted to the ground.

Komatsu: I-I’m sure we’ll will know it when we meet them !

Wanting to break the ice, Komatsu said that while leading the team inside the House, delivering them to the chef.The House of Food, at always, is filled with the aroma of delicious food in the air.Even more so today, especially the smell of grease and meat completely permeated the atmosphere. Thousands of people have gathered around the extremely large BBQ stands that the chefs have cooked which seemingly was a piece of steak 100 meter in diameter.

Komatsu: Now that I remember, Minori-san does mentioned that there’s an All-you-can-eat BBQ buffet.
Minori: Yeah, I heard they will introduce all kind of meats from monsters that exist in the Pantheon…
Toriko/Kirby: What!?

As expected, their mouth have been filled with drool after hearing that.

Minori: Plus, there’s going to be a special event. I’m not sure what, but I heard they’re going to introduced a new kind of meat WAY more delicious than what is being showed here…

Just then, a bell sound rang across the room, attracting the guests’ attention. Then a voice appeared, announcing the news:“The special event will begin in 1 hour. If you want to join in, please register in the reception at the center of the room.”

Komatsu: Hehhh… So there’ll be an event hu… Wait, where are you going?

Said Komatsu when he saw his companion running away at break-neck speed, causing them to stop.

Toriko: We’re going to participate in this special event, of course!
Komatsu: “Of course” what? What about our objective to deliver the mochis?
Toriko: Listen here… Right now there will be a special event organized by the House of Food, right?
Komatsu: Yeah?
Toriko: That means that the one we need to meet may be busy with the preparation of the event.
Komatsu: !!… That’s right, we can’t just meet them and ask for this !
Toriko: Right, but what if we participate in this event?
Komatsu: You would be able to meet with the organizer… Ah!
Toriko: Right? And if we do something recognizable in the event, the organizer will come and meet us. We can tell them about our objective that way.
Komatsu: That’s right…

While Komatsu confirmed what he said, Minori and Kirby let out a surprised voice:

Minori: So you could think it that way…
Kirby: I don’t even think about that. I just charge in because of the delicious food.
Minori: You too? We could be friends then!
Kirby: I thought we already were!
Toriko: You guys…So are you coming along or not?
Komatsu: No thanks, somebody must keep this thing safe. Although they probably wouldn’t attack with this much people around anyway… Beside, I want to taste some food around here at a chef.
Toriko: Is that so… Then see ya later then!

With that, he signaled the remaining two, who were holding hands playing with each other, to go. At the blink of the eye, the trio have disappeared out of sight.

Komatsu: Now then… Which one should I go to first?

He also began to move, looking forward to taste the flavor of Pantheon.


15 minutes later

Komatsu: Ugh… I sure brought a lot for myself…

Having taken the food in large quantities, Komatsu had troubles carrying all the food on the plate even when he asked for a big one. Frantically looking for a place to sit, he went from table to table. Finally he found one on a corner of the room and put his plate on that table.

Komatsu: OK… What should I try first… Huh?

At he tried to taste the food, he noticed a strange thing on the table next to him.Specifically, a huge banner hang on top of it, with colorful decoration you would only see in ceremonies. On the banner spell…

Komatsu: …Itazura …Griefers?

As he still tried to comprehend the situation, out of nowhere, 4 people rushed to that table. Each of them carried a plate filled with food. Then, when all of them have placed the plate on the table, a certain blond-haired woman in her 20s, wearing a white dress began to talk while showing an object that resemble a speed-gun:

Lady: …Let’s take it to the top. Since no one of us know how to judge food professionally, I will use this gun on my hand. There’s alot of stuff behind it, but this thing could accurately know how delicious is the food…

While Komatsu was still trying to grasp the situation, he gained interest in the conservation as the group all nodding in confirmation.

Lady:…When we point this gun toward the food and pull the trigger, a number will appear on the monitor on the side of the gun. The one who gets the highest score will have the best food around and be a winner. Everyone got it?
The rest: Uhm !!
Lady: Then we’ll start, who goes first?
???: I am! I am!

With a spirited voice, a young, redheaded spike-headed boy who was in a hurry to volunteer himself to be first with his hand raised high over his head and hopping around.

Lady: OK, drop the act, “Prince”. Let’s see…
Komatsu: (Prince? Guess he is from Royalty…)

The blond lady then promptly pointed the gun into this boy’s dish. It was a cartoonish piece of meat with a bone sticked through the center and sauce permeating the top of it.

Lady: *BIP* …100 point.

After hearing that, the prince then smirked a smile as if confirming his victory. But to Komatsu’s eye, he looked twisted and evil.

Boy: Jan jan jaaan! Of course it is ! With my tongue that has tasted royalty food everyday, it’s only logical that this “Roasted Dragon’s Thigh Meat” would receive the most perfect score !

Saying that, the lady suddenly giggled, hiding her mouth with her hand the way a polite lady does.

Boy: Huh? Why are you laughing?!
Lady: HmHmHm… Well, with that score, it is certainly not bad, but to called it perfect is a little…
Boy: What do you mean !?
Lady: Well… it’s my turn next. It would be better if I showed it to you then…

She then pointed the gun at her dish next. It was shaped like a bird with vegetables as wings and tail, and the chicken-like meat at the body.*BIP*The gun once again revealing the result but she didn’t tell him right away. As he became a bit impatience, he snatched the gun out of her hand to examine the point.Only to be stupified.

Boy: No way… 1230 point !?
Lady: Well yes… I did said that it would follow a numerical order… But, i never said 100 was the highest, right?
Boy: Ku…

He immediatetly glared at her with hatred clearly show on his eyes. But, returning that with ease, she gently put a fan (that come out of no where) on to her lip like cliche high class lady do in shoujo manga, hidden a smile.

Lady: Anyway… for you to think that dish of yours, a dish with only 100 point, is the highest of perfection… Guess you can’t cure naivety with time after all…
Boy: Ugh ! (first hit)
Lady: It can’t be helped I guess. Not eating something decent for millenia must have dulled your taste…
Boy: Agh ! (second hit)
Lady: Even so, for my “The Phoenix’s Revival” and your … Dish to be that much different… Guess people like you will never comprehend the Divine’s delicacy.
Boy: Uogh ! (final hit)

The Lady, as if continuing her act, started to laugh with a high-pitch voice. While the boy over there, after that excessive gesture like there’re arrows lodged into his heart, fall flat to the ground and convulsing constantly.

Komatsu: (Wow… Merciless. It’s like that guy that stopped us earlier… Are all of them like that?)

Ignoring the boy, the entire group continued the contest:

Lady: So, who is next?
???: I’m next.

Raising her hand, a young girl in a pink dress raised her hand. She flashed a confident smile as her short blond hair fluttered in the (sudden) wind and glitter surrounded her body.

Lady: …You too huh, Witch?
Witch: With everybody acting like that, it’s weird not to do the same.Plus, I like to do it anyway.
Lady: Whatever… so where is your pla… HUH?

Suddenly, before everybody eyes, a large fish appeared, threaten to break the table beneath.More accurately, they have only noticed it by now.

Witch: Huh? You guy only just noticed it by now? My dish “Enlarged Tuna” would grow up in size if you let it alone after cooking it, so I thought it must be pretty obvious…

While she said it with such an innocent voice, the rest of the group had a look of contempt at the fish that kept growing in size, as if they won’t be fooled with such act.Again, the gun beeped and showed the point:

Lady: …5000… 5100…5200 !?
Witch: Also, the bigger it is, the more delicious it become, as I heard! So, did I win?
Lady: Grr…

The section then became silent, existing only the growling of the lady as she bit her handkerchief (that she pulled out from no where) and the witch gloating for her sure-win situation.

???: Not yet !

A shout then came suddenly, vibrating the whole section. Everyone came and looked at the same time to a girl in a white dress, with black pointy end at the bottom, and horns protruding from her black, short hair that contain some white and red strand, smiling confidently while showing her teeth.

???: I still haven’t shown my dish yet!
Witch: Oh ho… Then show it then, Leader!

That girl then put the plate onto the table (while throwing the enormous fish to the twitching corpse over there)…It was shown to be an ordinary piece of stake.

Witch: …Are you kidding me?
Leader: Who know?
Witch:…huHAHAHAHAHA, then you got me there, Leader. I thought you’re going to take this dish to compete against mine.
Leader: Well, yes!

Seeing such a confident answer, her smile then disappeared completly from her face. Instead, anger could be showed clearly in her eyes.

Witch: Again, are you kidding me ? Do you intended to troll ME, THE WITCH OF CERTAINTY!? I won’t forgive you for displacing such lazyness even if you’re our Leader!
Leader: Who know? Medic, jugde the dish.

The lady, now nicknamed Medic, nonchalantly pointed the gun at the dish.

Witch: Hmm ! Prepare for your punishment then! (preparing black hole) There’s no way this cheap stake could possibly…

Preparing the black hole, she intended to suck her into this. But before she could do so, a loud voice belonging to a certain Meme come out suddenly from the gun, making the witch lose her concentration and made the black hole disappear, before the gun self-destructed in an small-scale explosion. This was succeeded by surprising everybody.

Witch: …What was that?
Leader: Hoo… So this gun was having that function. The one who made it sure have a sense of humor.
Witch: … To think you even tamper with that machine, your sleazyness sure know no bound!
Leader: Having moments of disbelief now, Witch? Why won’t you try it then.
Witch: Now you dare to challenge my judgement ! I will show you the inferiority of your di…!?

She then picked up the dish and put it on her mouth while trying to prove that she was cheating. But the moment her tongue touched it, her speech was interrrupted as she felt like her body was wrapping-no-permeating in bodily pleasure, before she collasped to her knee, dropping the dish and holding her body while moaning erotically.

Leader: Woa… I have heard of this before, but this is a first time I saw the famed “Foodgasm”, let alone such an intensed one. That almost makes me thought you’re still a virgin.

While spouting such improper comment, she casually come to the witch’s side, ignoring the blushed look everyone was making (including the boy who had just woke up after being hit by the fish earlier), and taking the dish away. Reacting to that, she shifted her eyes to the dish she held in her hand, still having a red face from earlier.

Leader: Oh, by the way, your judgement before was half-right. This thing used to be a cheap stake some amateur chef cooked and accidentally displaced in here… You could said this is the worst dish around here, in this buffet. Right until i use my specialty… Now this thing is the best dish you could ever tasted.
Witch: …
Leader: “But it’s impossible, with your ability alone, to make this dish like that when the most skilled chef is participating in this event…” or something like that, right? First, I’m offended that you would think lowly of your own leader like that. Secondly, it IS impossible for me to do that alone…

She then gently put the dish back onto the table, which was followed by the fervent gaze she kept making from underneath, and lifted something-or rather-someone between her thumb and index finger. It was revealed to be a certain Inching who was waving her limb around while having a blushed face like everybody else.

Sukuna: Let me go please, Seija!
Seija: …So I asked this midget to lend me the power of the Miracle Mallet and combine it with my power. It look like it make her shrunk again though… Hey, are you listening to me ?
Witch: …

Noticed something strange, Seija immediatetly realized where her gaze directed to, put the Inching down the table and picked up the dish again. She then revealed a mischievous smile on her face, while teasing her with the plate dangling right in front of her, who began looking at it with a lustful gaze.

Seija: I see…So you want to taste this dish again right?
Witch: Th-There no way I am thinking such an improper thing !
Seija: Really? Do you hate it then ?

As she said that, she bring the dish closer to her mouth. She, who still couldn’t move from the “Foodgasm”, faced her face away from the dish. But then, her face began to contort in pain and tear began to form in the corner of her eyes. Seeing such scene, Seija begin to smile again.

Seija: So you DO like it then…
Witch: Ku…

She then removed the dish out her face slowly, still letting her see the dish as it was leaving her gasp. At the witch instinctually followed it with her face, Seija then began gently caressing her neck up and gently hold her chin in place. She began to look directly into her eyes ,who began to lose her reason. A field of lilies suddenly sprouts beneath their feet, surrounding them.

Seija: You know… Seeing my precious teammate tremble in pain like that, how can I, your benevolent leader, could leave you like that?… Do you want to relief yourself from this pain ?

Hearing her question, the witch, who you seemingly can’t see her will in her eyes anymore, painfully nod slightly in front of her.

Seija: If you want it, then this benevolent leader of your will granted it. All you have to do is apologize for thinking so lowly of your leader, and I will even forgive that you were trying to kill me earlier…
Witch: Grr..

Then, as if her entire body rejected to lower herself, her eyes faintly flickering a will again, revealing clear objection while weakly grinning her teeth. It’s seem like this is a final line she won’t cross, even in exchange for her sanity…But then Seija began to cut a piece of it with a silver knife, then stab it with a fork and bring it closer to her face. A strong flow of aroma then began to loosen her face, her eyes once again turned to pain, as if this was a strong wind to blow out that flickering.

Seija: So, what’s your answer?
Witch: I..a..apo…
Seija: What? I can’t hear you.
Witch: (moaning) I-I apologize, Leader ! So please let me have this fat, juicy, delicious piece of meat !!
Seija: (smiling menacingly) …Alright, then say “Aa”.

Then, with her word, the witch had completely given up her will, as she obeyed to her pleasure and opened her mouth. At the instance Seija let the meat to enter her mouth and let her savour it, a new world filled with lilies have opened at the first petal fallen to the ground…

Seija: Hmm… It wasn’t much…

As the witch layed down on the ground, fill with happiness. Seija start looking at her dearly, like gazing at something precious, in the tesimony of many. One could say a new love was born right here……Or so it seemed.

Seija: OK everybody (clapping hands), the joke is over. (turned to Komatsu) So… How do you like our little show, Komatsu?
Komatsu:… Huh?

Like after the end of the show, everybody involed (except Suzuna) began to rised up, group together and confront him, as he was still dazed from the “act”.

Seija: What do you mean, “Huh?” . We worked so hard to act as a greeting for your arrival, and you responded like that!?
“Prince”: Calm down, Leader. He’s probably too shocked from seeing the pseudo-yuri scene earlier.
“Medic”: That’s right ! That last moment almost made my heart skipped a little. It’s like you two actually loved each other… Just between us, do you like her?
Seija:(Unfazed) Of course no…
Witch: OF COURSE SHE LIKES ME~~~!

Saying it lovingly, the Witch immediately glomp to her like a lover in a love-comedies series.

“Witch”: After all, yesterday, she confessed to me while we’re practicing our act, saying it’s because she doesn’t want me to have any wrong idea when we played that last scene together~~
Seija: Mou… I planned to announced it when the time is right.
Witch: Really though, that was dirty of you! Making me swoon over you again with that delicious dish.
Seija: Sorry about that dear~~! You’re always looked so proud even when we’re together, so I want to used this dished so that you could relax a little. The perverted you is a plus though…
Witch: Really~~,you could have just asked the next time we’re alone together then !
Seija: Really? Thank you honey~~!

As these two were looking at each other with passion while holding hands, spouting cringe-worthy line even the author shied away from. A pink atmosphere quickly appeared around them, with such artifical sweetness to make everyone pukes.

Seija/Witch: Well, jokes aside…

Also just as expected, the atmosphere disappear just as quick. Instantly right after that, their hands suddenly separated away from each other with lightning speed, once again leaving Komatsu in a dazed.

Seija: I guess we haven’t introduced ourselve properly yet…(Dramatic music raising) The demon of contradiction and the hero of the weak! I’m Seija Kijin, “Itazura Red”!!!

Along with her introduction, she immediatetly taken out a red armband and put it on her right arm. After that, she ended it with a leader pose with her hand wrapped on her chest…Before spewing (fake) blood from her mouth.

Lambdadelta: GAHAHAHA! So you managed to hold your disgust just so you could match the red color!? You’re really pushing yourself there…The Witch of Certainty and allies to my wimp! I’m Lambdadelta,“Itazura Pink”!!!

After that, flame started to wrap around her , as if to burn away her clothes. She then swiped it away with a wave of a hand, revealing her usual Halloween-themed clothing with a pink armband on her leg and striking a cute pose.

Miyo:…Speak for yourself, aren’t you burning your clothes away because you’re disgusted having touched Leader’s body?(silently take out armband) I don’t have any hammy word to said, but i’m the brain of the team. Miyo Takano, “Itazura Green”.

Unlike those two, she casually introduced herself at such as she wore the green armband. She still slightly did a pose with her hand on her hip.

Miyo: You’ve already met “Black”, so we won’t mention him…Last is…
Vector:(saluting) Jan jan jaaaan! The Mad Prince of Terror! The Clown of Darkness! (changing to Barian mode) The Emperor of Chaos! Vector,“Itazura Gray”!!!

With the ominious cloud and lightning hanging around him, Vector loudly declared himself as such while flying above the ground, with a gray armband hanging around his arm.Of course, the respond was…

Seija: …He’s overcompensating.
Lambdadelta: Truly, he’s overcompensating.
Miyo: Guess he’s overcompensating himself because of the mob treatment he received moment ago.
Vector: Tch…

The music then began to climax.

Seija: Already? let wrap it up… Together, we’re called… Itazura Griefers!!!!

The explosion effect then come behind them. Being hit by the explosive wave the effect created, Komatsu had been forcefully brought back to reality.

Seija: Now that we finished introducing ourselve, let go right to “explaning your goal to your enemies” part… First, look around you, do you see anything missing?
Komatsu:(look around)…!

Indeed, the box that suppose to contain the mochis…

Seija: …Are nowhere to be found, right? You see, this little show of ours was not only for introduction, it was also for distracting you long enough so that we could take it from your hand.
Komatsu: ?!

Bewildered by the revelation, Komatsu then looked to their positions, and the asked them in a strained voice after fiding out the box wasn’t in their possesion either.

Komatsu: Where did you take them !
Seija: Woa woa easy there, you’re not getting any girl if you’re that forceful… don’t worry, that’s what the “give your enemies needless challenge to crush their will” part for.
Komatsu: Wait… You mean…
Seija: That’s right, it’s still safe… For now. Do you remember the special events? That’s where we’ve put it… We’re still surprised you know these kind of tropes so well, guess it’s a given when you’re in here.
Komatsu: What did you think of me ?
Seija: A clueless mob character… Well then, you’re better prepare yourselve, we’re going to participate in that too… Now that’s complete, let go to ” Hiding yourselve in menacing cloud of darkness before disappering”. Vector, do your job.
Vector:(disgruntled) Why me ?!
Seija: What? Didn’t you just show us that “menacing cloud of darkness” in your exaggerated introduction earlier? Beside, we ladies have done all the hard part, so you better move your lazy ass around.
Vector: …Tch, I was also doing a tough part of being a mob too… (making the smoke)

Just like that, the crew slowly disappeared under a cloud of smoke, leaving Komatsu to run to his comrades as fast as possible.


20 minutes later

Komatsu:… And that is what happened.
Toriko: I see…
Komatsu: I’m sorry, I should have pay more attention to the foods…
Toriko: It’s okay… we would also be stunned when we saw something like that.

Komatsu bowed down to apologize to everyone, which Toriko said it was fine before making him rise his head again. The group’s also agree with his’s opinion.

Kirby: Yeah, if i have seen the most delicious food in the world, i don’t think i would be able to help controlling myself to ignore it.

Of course, some is different than others. Strangely though, almost everyone nodded with it.

Chie: Nomnom… So that’s why Adachi retreated after a while…

Chie commented so, while still having steak stuffed into her mouth. Incidentally, after she chased him to here she’ve lost sign of him, so she tried to search around and picked up food at the same times when she reunited with her’s friend.

Toriko: So then… let take it back from these guy !!
Komatsu: So fast!!! Don’t we need a plan or something?
Toriko: Isn’t it obvious? We’re going to join the event, find out where they put it, and take it back.
Komatsu: I think we still need something more than this. After all, we’re still don’t know why they gone all the way to do this instead of just taking it and running away.
Minori: Isn’t they said it already:”Give your enemies needless challenge to crush their will”. How despicable…
Komatsu: But the way they said it is so blatant, it’s too obvious that their’s objective is not just the mochis. I’m afraid we just walked right into a trap, and they’re not even trying to hide it.
Toriko: But if we don’t, we won’t be able to get the mochis, and bring it to the chef, right?
Komatsu: Sigh…right. So in the end, we’re only have that option.
Toriko: Then let just flung ourselve into that then… Everybody, prepare yourself for the event. I’m going to the register and add him and Chie to “Gourmet Hunters”.
Komatsu: “Gourmet Hunters” ?
Toriko: That’s our team name, it’s seem like the participant must be grouped into a team.
Minori: I still think our team name should be ” Pancakes’s Lover”.
Kirby: I think it should be “Kirby’s hungry friend”.
Chie: Why don’t you wait for me, i wanted to name it “The Starving Dragon”!
Toriko: Sorry Satonaka-san, we already agreed to the name through Rock-Paper-Scissor… Well then, here i go.

With that, he’s quickly heading to it direction and fading behind lines of people.

Minori:Still, i’m amazed you could think it up to that. I don’t even know that could be possible…
Chie: I think everybody already knew that, you’re just not …bright enough to know that.
Minori:I AM bright enough, and already know it’s a trap already,Chie-oneesan! I’m surprise even he know it.
Komatsu: Hey! Even the leader of that group said that to me! I’m not look like a clueless mob character right?
Everyone:(glance away)
Komatsu:You guy!!!!

10 minutes before the eventThe light started to dim down.Annoucer: For all who have participate in this event, i welcome you all !!!A majestic voice ,resonating with the entire House, shook the atmosphere. Like that of a king, the voice attrack the attention of everyone with it domineering presence to the center of the place. There, sitting in the throne, the president of the “Gourmet Racer Club” was basking in the center light before continue.

Dedede:But first, i thanked all of you for coming to the feast and joined with us to our constant hunt of delicacy. For us, food always taste better when we eat together! And so, following this ideaology, we have opened this buffet to spread our enjoyment to everyone.

The president then paused for a little bit, giving time for the House to be filled with clapping the moment later. The cheer then soon faded out.

Dedede: Now, to the main point…

The crowd went silent. As it’s so, the House suddenly filled with countless spot of light. On closer look, it’s appear to be stars.

Dedede: As you know. We, the “Gourmet Racer Club”, have gone ourselve, with the help Pantheon’s tech, to scout through the multiverse in our eternal search for delicacy.

Some of the star then changed color to red, marking the star system they have gone through. Soon enough, the skies full of star now have a tint of red. Suddenly, the map then focused to a mysterious planet.

Dedede: A few week ago, in our routine perimeter search we have found a planet that is riched with a mysterious element that jacked up with our sensor designed to search for deliciousness.

Chatter soon begin to sound between people as they’re all wonder. The map then once again focus on a probe-like object orbiting the planet.

Dedede:Curious about that that, we then planted probes in orbit with this planet to send image to our headquarter, but then we found one thing…

As he said that, all of the sudden the probe break away, before burning up in the asmosphere. The view then switched to the probe’s perspective to revealed…

Dedede: Mysterious lifeforms gradually appear and enlarge, eating away our probe before we lost contact with it.

The audience were in awe. The probe made in here have so many protection, it’s hard to break such a piece of equipment. Yet these mysterious creature easily ate it as if it were cracker. As they’re still questioning about that, the view changed again. This time, it’s showed scientist taking out a certain substance from a small tube.

Dedede: After that, we have analyzed the substance the probe have managed to sent it back. What we found out is this element cause the chance in properties of every object known to us to make it easily digestable to living being. More so, only a bit of this substance will raised a food quality to that of a 3-star restaurant. We have confirmed it by adding it to the buffet.

People then start to look at the food they ate in amazement. At the same time,the scientists is showed to start experiment with the substance on cell by introducing to it’s system. The cell then began to undergo some sort of chance, before the scene is switched to a grown 4-legged animal resembling a shining wolf.

Dedede:…Plus, when giving this substance to living thing, this thing can caused rapid evolution and growth to fit it surrounding and circumstance. In which will then continue consuming anything above a certain standard of delicacy. So with that, we have concluded that the probe is eaten inside out by a container of mysterious goo we have installed when it component changed by the mysterious substance in the space above the planet.

“Why would you put a mysterious goo in a probe !”, some of them vocally retorted.

Dedede:And so, because of its revolutionary propreties, we have decided to call this substance Delisium ! Thank to it, we once again confirm the existense of a universal standard of delicacy, and for us to find another way to make the masterpiece of gastronomy!

Everyone once again being put to silent under the loud voice of the excited president. However, it also lit a fire inside the chef available for this event.AND SO!FOR ALL OF YOU WHO PARTICIPATE IN THIS EVENT!I ASK OF YOU!TO FURTHER OUR JOURNEY!AS WE PUT OUR FOOT IN THE LAND OF DELICACY!!!The cheer came instantly, vibrating the entire House. As the House have been heated in the spirit of adventure and gluttony, more and more Gods flooded the register in hope to participate in this event. At the end, more than 200 teams have joined in. All of them then being guided to stand on a certain platform placed behind the stage, while the organizer all stand on a different onesThen, at the last few second before the event start…

Dedede: Well then ! May the food luck be with us!

He wished so before the organizer and the participant all vanished in the beam of light.


P.M.S.S: Pantheon’s Mobile Space Station 5Floating in space, 2 million km away from the mysterious planet, a donut shaped space station appear to be facing the planet. As expected, the choice is more about personal taste than actual praticallity, more so since this thing doesn’t generate gravity by centrifugal’s force.Inside the donut, a hallway is placed inside of a spherical object, designed to aim it wide observational deck to every direction. In it, 10 teams are standing, gazing at the planet which will be their’s destination.

Minori: Woah… so beautiful.
Chie: I feel the same too, Minori-chan. It’s not like you could see this kind of scene everyday.
Kirby: I seen it all the time though.
Komatsu: Shh…Please don’t break their mood like that!… Look, someone have come.

As they continue watching, a door at the side of the room opened, and the staff of the club came in to the front of a screen that just come up, blocking the view of the planet.The staff was a women of high stature, with brown hair, a slender body with moderate breast, long legs and a face of a natural beauty smiling elegantly. She was donning a glass hiding a pair of brown eyes and an office dress, making her look like your stereotypical secretary… if you don’t count the fluffy pair of brown wolf ears and a tail swinging happily behind her. Incidently, she was walking with her bare, wolf-like feet.Since this is Pantheon though, these guy participating in this event can’t be afford to be surprised about every single little thing, and just concentrating on the screen, describing their mission.

Wan: Once again, we thanked you for joining us in this mission. My name is Wan, and i will be your guide for the rest of the operation. Though i’m just working for this place a week ago, i hope that we could work well with each other and finish this mission with huge success.

Just as she was finished introducing herself however, a laughter came from the corner of the room.

Wan: Is there any problem, sir?

Puzzling from the sudden laughter, the office lady turn her head to the one that laughter belong to. He was, if you put it simply, a buffy thug from every RPG game ever.In short, he’s your everyday fodder.

Fodder: Oh, nothing… Wan! GAHAHAHA,really! What next? Are you going to sit down and wag your tail around?

Confused, she asked the man before her, who is unnessesary trying to intimidate with his large stature, a question, while smiling gently…

Wan:…Excuse me, sir? I don’t understand.

…Though she tried to act like that, nearly everyone could feel the Tranquil Fury emitting from her small body in relation to the thug. The smile, in spite before of the thug, could only tell the invetible fate he will met. Nearly everyone know it…Except of course, the thug that look at her in such a vulgar stare as he licked his eyes all over her body.

Fodder: What, don’t tell me you don’t know? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do as a dog? Heck, you bark everytime you speak, like this: Wan~Wan~~.

Episode 6: The 12 Days of Smissmas

December 13, 2015 – A mark starting the countdown for Christmas, 12 days are counted for a few certain gods on how they live while the 12 day-countdown. Naughty or Nice, they will be treated regardless of their actions, although the RNG will be interfering with the results.With the advent of Christmas coming, the nine mercenaries of Mann Co have decided to take a break from their neverending combat and start anew. Here are the Mercs’ lives at the Pantheon’s grounds starting with:Day 12: A Noisy StartThe 12th and first countdown, normally it would start with a bang or with a silence, well for the most part. At the House of Weapons, there resides four of the Mercs, with each attending their own businesses. Unfortunately, a noise in the form of hammers and drills have hammered the Ranged and Explosive Weapons subhouse. While many have ignored such ruckus, a certain Mikasa Makoto had enough of such pollution and has decided to look who is responsible. Starting with Aigis’ temple:

Misaka: *Knocks* Aigis?
Aigis: Hello, Misaka. What is the urgency?
Misaka: Have you heard the noise? Do you know who’s causing it?
Aigis: Well, the only thing I know is that someone here is making it, not outside.

Intruiged, Misaka asks one last thing:

Misaka: Umm, okay. Direction?
Aigis: I’m afraid I can’t help you regarding that.
Misaka: *grumbles* Okay. Thanks anyway.

The next temple she visited was the temple of the Flame Menance, known as the Pyro. As she knocks, she prepares for the worst, putting her finger in front of the gates as it opens slowly. Then, a gasmask pops up from the open gates, with flaming halos surrounding it.

Pyro: Hudda
Misaka: Umm, hi. Do you know where the noise is coming from?

As Pyro attempts to answer, he points on different directions. Left, right, right-left, right-straight and even inside his temple. Misaka, already bored from Pyro’s shenanigans, decided to leave, only for him/her to shoot a flare pointing towards Demo’s temple. She decided to give a small thanks.

Misaka: Well, thanks for your help…

Just as she went to the Demolition Duo’s temple, she heard small explosions and shouting, but is not loud enough against the noise she’s trying to find. As she knocks, Tavish Finnegan DeGroot (a.k.a The Demoman) opened the gate in a rude fashion, knocking Misaka out, for a while.

Tavish: You got a problem ya, *drinks* swinging beast! I’ll rip ya to shreds!

Misaka, already annoyed with the noise of hammers and Demo’s stupidity, decided to deal with it her own way.

Misaka: What the…? WILL YOU CALM DOWN!
Tavish: Wuh? AH! I’m so sorry lass!!!
Misaka: You better be sorry, you drunken madman!
Tavish: Madman???? I do this for a living you little…

Sick and tired of Tavish’s attitude, Misaka decides to electrocute him with her railgun powers. Demo, already dazed decided to start talking, while being burned.

Tavish: AAAHHHHH!!! I’M BURNING AAAAAHHHHHHH
Misaka: Are you ready to talk now?
Tavish: FINE. *drunken babble*

As Tavish agrees to talk, he takes a seat on his temple, still albeit burning from Misaka’s attack. As he speaks, she realizes he also has the same dilemma as her.

Tavish: So, what you want you little lass?
Misaka: First of all, I’m not small, and second can we please talk like casual people? Or else…
Tavish: Alright, alright! Geez. If you are talkin ’bout that noise hammering me and Soldier’s sleep time. Then you’ve come to the right place.

Surprised, she decides to ask further.

Misaka: You have the same problem? Wow
Tavish: Of course, lass. That babbling noise has been terrorizing me like how I was when I was a child.
Misaka: Well, do you have an idea where it is coming from?

As that question poppd up, Tavish decides to make an answer.

Tavish: I can make many guesses, but I’ll have to go with Heavy’s temple.
Misaka: Exactly why is it Heavy?

Tavish, annoyed with her constant questions decided to make it long, just for her to understand.

Tavish: Have you noticed that he isn’t active as he used to be? He’s supposed to be outside but he hasn’t been for 30. STRAIGHT. DAYS. I haven’t seen him and neither has Soldier. Even other houses aren’t reportin him for a while. Maybe because its Smissmas or something but I can guarantee that it must be him. Right?

However, Misaka decides to ask:

Misaka: Wait, Smissmas? What day is it?
Tavish: How would I know? I lost count on mah wee days due to the noise.

Just as the Demoman said “noise”, the air went quiet. The sound of birds are heard, followed by astonished voices of other deities present. They are able to keep their minds afloat, while being weirded out by the sudden silence. It must have been a dream, or a hallucination. Either way, both of them have questioned themselves one thing:

Both: Are you ready to find Heavy?

As usual, both immediately responded that both are willing to find Heavy and at least, end this ruckus for good.The Search For HeavyWith time now being patient, the two deities have decided to knock first on Heavy’s door. As the first few seconds pass, Demoman’s patience has grown very short, with each knock from Misaka putting the the Scotsman under impatient insanity and further placing his mind into jeopardy.

Tavish: Alright that’s it. I did not come here to play camper.

As the Demoman got too impatient, he decides one thing: Bring out his Sticky Grenade Launcher and BLOW IT TO PIECES!

Tavish: HAT’EM LADS!

That was until she grabbed Demo’s launcher and thwarted what would become a slaughter. Instead, it became a rain of insults.

Misaka: Not on my watch! *grabs Grenade Laucnher and throws it out*
Tavish: That costed me a large sum you filthy woman.
Misaka: Filthy? Look who’s talking.
Tavish: DEVIL! SHE’S THE BLOODY DEVIL.

FN’s record

Fantasy Nature: Reimu’s ultimate move. With it, she’s escape from the constrain of reality. To this day,no one could defy her in that mode.Interested in such an ability. The SCP decided to investigate about her. Here is the record they have complied base on secret observation and experiment on the indivitual:Record 1:The little-known event of the Pantheon Rebellion.In the begining of the Pantheon Rebellion event, all of the magical girls who have turned into witch have been tragically killed, being deemed as lost hope…Or at least, that should have been what happen in the report.Unbeknown to them all, some have survived the process.

2 hours after the beginning: (since the date of time is vague, we have decided to mark base on the event)

After the early onset of the Witches’s Night, all of them have been spreaded around,causing chaos everywhere. In which, some of them managed to tread on the shrine maiden’s territories.Naturally, the indivitual have set out to fight against them.

2 hours 5 minute after the beginning:

As the witches approach the shrine, the shrine maiden have finally confronted them.By our estimated, the witches should be completely decimated by her might, base on our database.

2 hours 7 minute after the beginning:

Something have occurred outside of our database’s estimate.Without provocation,one witch come out first and attack the shrine maiden.Undeterred, the subject silently take out one piece of paper, presumptively a talismans, and placed it before the witch’s forehead.Mysteriously after that, the witch convulsed suddenly before being wrapped inside a bright light and turned back into (naked) magical girls and gently dropped to the ground.According to our interview with the indivitual: “Huh?…Um, you know how even Youkai have 4 side that make up the part of their soul? Being Youkai, the Ara (rude) should have been high, but these thing is abnormally high and full of taint. So I tried to calm the Ara while excite the Nigi (Harmony), and forcefully wash the taint to knock these thing back to normal. Who knew they turn into naked girl?”According to our database, that should not have been possible.Though seemingly surprised about the result, the shrine maiden immediately bring out the two yin-yang balls and started her “purification” process, as the subject later called.

2 hours 8 minute after the beginning:

Wave after wave of witches came after the subject, instinctly feeling something.According to the field agent: “Maybe they sought after salvation when they finally seeing the light”, he said. Though that have been initially dismiss according to the database. The idea have later been considered to be “Romantic” and “A possible explanation”.Nevertheless, the titled “Mysterious flying shrine maiden” repeatively repel the horded of witches with an enormous amount of homing talisman.Such excessive amount prove to be unnecessary, judging by the effectiveness of one, at first. But soon after that, the reason have been made clear.

2 hours 15 minute after the beginning:

Among the dust and bright color emited by the talismans. The witches-turn-magical girls body could be seen lying here and there.Unlike the first incident, all of them have been clothed and being protected in a faint barrier. Upon closer inspection, it’s seem like it’s a red-white modified miko uniform made out of talisman.Upon interview:”…Isn’t having your clothes get destroyed after every fight is a hassle to have? Since clothing is also a charm for protection, not having these would make you more susceptible to possession, not to mention it’s really getting in your way. So, if there’s someone that could turn ribbon into clothing, then I could turn talismans for protection into clothing of my own…Since it’s just paper though, I have to paid attention to the rain.””So, the barrier itself is on me though”, she added.So, while simultaneously exert barrier on all the former witches, the subject also have to fight and purified constant wave of witches coming from all side while paying attention to stray attack that could harm the victim and the shrine itself. Even then, she continued to fight without a single sweat.Despite all that effort, the wave just keep getting bigger.

2 hours 20 minute after the beginning: